"he is an awesome Australian"

Hillites,

Now that the football season is over, it's perhaps time to turn our attention to the forthcoming season of the summer game and look forward to wasting whole weeks at a time during the Silly Season to the soundtrack of the thwack of willow on leather and the ripple of polite applause, by asking - what would Pup do?
The Great Man has been unusually quiet of late, apart from copping a right bollocking for endorsing some fly-by-night get-rich-quick scheme being offered by Dodgy Bros. Pty Ltd of Brisbane.
No one has asked for his opinion on the cricket lately, and Michael has certainly been entirely silent on the subject of being so rudely brushed by Channel Seven for their brand spanking new commentary team for the you-beaut whizz-bang cricket telecasts we'll all be enjoying this summer.
Clarkey was always very leery of being a selector; he voluntarily gave up the job that had been foisted on him when he was skipper on the well grounded principal of "you pick 'em, I'll play 'em", but would Pup have come up with this mob of 14 to play Pakistan in two tests in Abbers and Doobers next month?

Tim Paine (c), Ashton Agar, Brendan Doggett, Aaron Finch, Travis Head, Jon Holland, Usman Khawaja, Marnus Labuschagne, Nathan Lyon, Mitchell Marsh, Shaun Marsh, Michael Neser, Matt Renshaw, Peter Siddle, Mitchell Starc.

Labuschagne [what kind of South African name is Marnus, anyway]? Neser [another South African]? Dogget? Has anyone ever heard of these people?
31-year-old Jonny Holland [played two tests two years ago] in a battle with Ashton Agar [four tests on very friendly tracks] for the second spinner's spot?
But most remarkably, the ranks of the quicks must be very thin indeed with the selection of Peter Siddle, who'll be 34 in November.
OK, Cummins and Hazo are both very flaky and prone to being rooterised by injury, but where are the young tear-aways coming through the ranks? Nothing to see there.
Must have been under the misapprehension that Sids had given the 1st class game away yonks ago, or was he brought out of retirement for this one?
In any case, did spot the brand new Strayan coach Alfie Langer on the telly [he had the decency and sense to wear a sports coat, wisely eschewing Boof's ill-fitting bag of a track suit] saying that Sids had been picked only because "he is an awesome Australian".
A tried and true servant of the game is Sids, a class bowler in his day, with vast experience being the perennial bridesmaid at 12th man - no doubt about that - but "awesome" is a much overused word these days Alfie. Maybe he's just trying to stay in toon with the Yoof of Today?
No idea.
GJ "The Big Show" Maxwell has been cruelly snubbed again [Alfie: "there's a method to our madness"] due to him bagging the selectors.
As usual, there are too many Marsh's in the squad, and note also, that no Vice Captain has been named.
Perhaps they have done away with the meaningless office, after it was so was thoroughly put through the wringer by 'Burbs Warner of sandpaper infamy?

Of more import is this year's major touring team, India, so it's pleasing to see that they have continued their grand tradition of being unable to win away from home, being tidied up very nicely by the Poms 4-1 thank you very much.
The Evil Viral Rat had excuses galore after India were tipped for their best showing in the Heart of the Empire for a decade, but the fact remains that the Poms are as good at pitch doctoring as the Indians, and the Sub Continentals will never do no good on bouncy wickets in the Wide Brown Land, because they don't like it up 'em, don't like it all.
There are now inevitable calls for Kohli to be sacked as Captain...the Times of India said in an editorial that he "dons the roles of chief ball polisher, sledger-in-chief, DRS caller, umpire chatterer, schedule decider, huddle addesser, and media hater" implicating he's too busy to actually lead the team.
It's also come to my attention that India has a player called Pant, so no doubt he will be dubbed "Trouser" by the louts on the hill in Straya...as in "oi, drop ya daks, Trouser, and gissa look".

So there is hope yet to avenge Straya's last tour of India, the sheer absurdity and stress of which drove Smiffy off his rocker, out of his mind, and over the edge.
But not much.

On a side note, it should be put on the record that Alastair Cook CBE knocked up yet another ton in his final match in the test caper [33 tons at an average of 45], so he's now a dead-set certainty for a knighthood...but did overhear someone saying the other day about Cookie "I cannot remember a single shot he played, but I do remember watching him bat for a very long time".
And James Anderson is now the leading all-time fast-bowling wicket-taker in Test matches - that's probably just a function of the number of games played these days [Jimmy's been going around for 15 years] - but he aint no Ooh Aah Glenn McGrath, who he's just overtaken on the record list, oh no, siree.
After playing with him for 12 years, Cookie was asked what he thought of Jimmy, and he just called Anderson "a freak"...enough said.
There's also been some Pommy song and dance about a ball that the Englishman Adil Rashid bowled being comparable to Warnie's "Ball of the Century".
Absolute poppycock. It was a good nut to be sure, that turned at right angles a country mile outside off [could well have been called as a wide] on a made to order pitch, but it had none if the sheer poetry of Warnie getting Gatters, so that's all that can be said about that.

At least the Powers That Be have thought far enough ahead to give the Strayans a two-test warm-up in over-cooked far-away lands ahead of the Indian summer, but it's a shame that the magnificent old Sharjah ground is no longer in use.
It's an approrite metaphor for the state of cricket Down Under at the minute; the ground was abandoned, left to rot in ruins and was over-run by goats and chickens, but it did manage to rise like a phoenix from the ashes in time to host the 2018 Blind Cricket World Cup final back in January, and nothing of note has been played there since.