Mudlarks,
After seven straight days of solid rain in the Emerald City amounting to the best part of ten inches in the gauge at Obsevatory Hill, and the track at the SCG was its boggiest in years.
It's not a place where you would normally expect to see casual water lying around, given that it's built on a bed of Clovelly sand, but under the circumstances you'd think there was nothing more the groundsmen could do about it.
The uncovered cheap seats looked like a damned miserable place to be.
Good thing they put most of the travelling away supporters in there.
Welcome to the Gold Standard Deluxe SCG Experience, folks.
So, with the pill as slippery as a cake of Pear's soap and the footing far from sure, the match was always going to be a lark and a lottery.
Even more so with news that the Goodes Train will be putting his feet up for six weeks with a knee that requires minor surgery and the fact that eight players who appeared in last year's Grand Final were not playing.
Good thing the Swans have some depth in the players roster; with the late inclusion of the Great Teddy's younger brother Xavier Richards on debut being a case in point.
But the state of Sick Bay is now really starting to be a bit of a worry.
With the weather pissing down throughout, and no breeze to speak of, SC Horse had no option but to instruct his players to kick long, say the Hail Mary, and hope.
Apart from endless scrimmaging and stacks-on-the-mill, there was little more that they could do, except for Tippett.
Of course, Tipsy - as if to put it right up the critics from The Colonies who were last week rudely disparaging of his debut game for Sydney - had a blinder.
His pearler after he scooped the sodden ball off his toes as if he was playing on a bone dry ground and booting a 50m goal, Mr Curly-style, was classic wet weather football.
But perhaps the most crucial point in the match, for the second week in a row, was Malceski - who talked himself out of the Brownlow, again - by having a right ding-dong barney with the Bamfords after being pinged for a deliberate rushed behind.
No votes for you today, son.
In those conditions for an offence that's gone unpenalised hundreds of times this season?
What the?
Malceski does a good apoplectic face consumed with rage; the fierce, angry beard only adds to the effect.
It really has to be the silliest rule among the more the a hunded, for mine.
Inexplicable and impossible to interpret.
The Umpires really need to carry a divining rod to work it out.
What was Nick meant to do?
There he was, with the ball in his hands, brought to a near standstill in the box with his back to the Carlton goal, just waiting for the tackler to try to tackle him, and when he did, Nick took three steps backwards, and just stepped over the line that he was stoutly defending, probably unaware of where the white line actually was - never mind that it had been rubbed out in the mud, and wasn't even there.
Carlton would have gone to half time without a goal to their name without that dead set gift from the Bamfords; little wonder the television commentators called the Umpires' decision "The Howler of The Year"
And who the hell is John Bootsma, anyway?
Lord, help us,
With a saloon passage coming up with Melbourne (a), GWS (h), West Coast (a), Richmond (h) and Western Bulldogs (a), the defending Premiers should be firmly ensconced in the top four coming into the pointy end of the season.
"Well placed", as they say in the classics.
SYDNEY: 4.6, 5.9, 6.11, 8.17 (65). Goals: McGlynn 2, Tippett 2, Bolton, Parker, Pyke, Mitchell.
CARLTON: 0.3 1.5 4.10 5.13 (43). Goals: Gibbs, Armfield, Bootsma, Lucas, Tuohy.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 25,349.
One of the better miraculous wins at Leichhardt Oval in recent years completely passed me by.
Have not seen a single frame.
Found myself attending to The Youngest's 21st Birthday Party, catering for 50, that sort of thing, you know.
No time for football.
And in any case, Melbourne were well favoured to win given that at full strength you'd expect them to be in this year's Grand Final the way they are placed.
But my spies at the ground suggested that with so many players out, or backing up from the Wednesday game, State of Origin II, they didn't appear to be that much interested in playing on Saturday night on a seriously bog track at an obscure suburban ground in Sydney.
And the third-string Balmain team looks like they've found some mojo among themselves and aren't playing a bad brand of football.
The Sunday fishwarps were all abuzz about what they described as the "try of the year" scored by the Tigers.
The story goes that Simona diffused a grubber kick into his own in-goal, then scooped up the ball one-handed and beat three Melbourne tackles over the course of 20m, with Marshall following on his inside, who took the ball and passed to Farah who put in through a few sets of hands as Benji quitely slipped out around the back of the play to re-insert himself, and then delivering a short flick pass to Ayshford who was on the burst down the right centre three quarter, who was tackled by the Storm full back 5m short of the try-line, but momentum and the slippery surface carried him over into the in-goal in a spectacular slide as mud, grass and water sprayed over everyone trailing in his wake.
Magnificent.
A genuine length of field try is not seen that often, let alone in atrocious conditions.
The massive crowd of faithful standing on the hill at Leichhardt would have gone absolutely apeshit over that, and joined in the spirit of things by getting themselves soaked in mud and filth up to their waists as they jumped for joy.
Coach Harry must be scratching his head wondering what on earth he is doing right with a team of virtual unkowns, led by two superstars.
Whatever it is, keep up the good work son.
WESTS TIGERS 22. Tries: Ayshford, Marshall, Nofoaluma, Simona. Goals: Marshall (3).
MELBOURNE STORM 4. Tries: Blair.
At Leichhardt Oval.
Crowd: 5,288.
