Impressionists,
Can imagine SC Roos at training on Tuesday morning, the day after the smoko, handing out ruled exercise books and blunt pencils to the players.
SC Roos: “Now I want you to write out the following lines 25 times”
It is very hard to win a game of Australian Rules Football when you have eight goals kicked on you in the second quarter before you can manage a reply”
It is very hard to win a game of Australian Rules Football when 65 minutes elapse from kicking one goal to the next
It is very hard to win a game of Australian Rules Football when you miss five set shots at goal inside 50 in the Championship Quarter”
After that task has been completed, the assistant coaches drag huge bags stuffed full of footies onto the paddock.
SC Roos, pointing: “now see those big sticks over there? They’re the ones you want, ok?”
Coach walks away in a huff, throws the coaches ledger into the mud for some minion to pick up, and then gets in his car and drives away.
Its all very well to be done over by 16 points in a game you should have won comfortably, and it was yet another case of they only have themselves to blame, but St Paul would have taken the position that even though he had washed his hands of it, it still reflected badly on the coach.
Not much more to be said about a game of football apart from the fact that Odd Head McVeigh was probably best on ground in a losing team.
Half a million kicks and hand balls and six goals kind of tells the story.
Rhino Keefe played strong throughout and had a blinder in the championship quarter, toiled manfully trying to set up his useless forwards, all to no avail.
By the time they cottoned on to kicking long or sending in the bomb to their marquee player standing at full forward, it was too late.
BB Barry ‘Slugger” Hall “came alive” after half time – are you still allowed to put things up yr nose at the long break?
After he’d pleaded to the Bamfords, and being turned down for three free kicks in a row, the television commentary suggested in a sense of urgency -- ”oh no, it looks like Barry is about to lose his banana”.
Thankfully he never did, and had it about his person at all times.
The two rookies, the ones who by definition had never played a game of senior football in their lives, acquitted themselves well enough.
But try as they might, it was all good and done to have a go at playing the ball through the mid field, but with no Goodes to give Magic a happy finish up front, they found themselves ‘lost in space’.
The ageing blackfellas might look like they have lost a yard or two when they are playing, but when they are not there, there’s precious little structure, and even less brilliance in the twinkling of an eye.
Swans football department has always favoured late season away games in Canberra, on account of it gives you practice for the finals on wide open spaces in wintry conditions, given that its taken for granted that the size and shape of the playing surface at Manuka Oval; just as it was at the old Gabba ground with the greyhound track, and just as it is with Newcastle No.1 Sports Ground, is an exact replica of the MCG.
Sure that Betfair would make sure you could get set about Sydney not winning the premiership from here on in, and if truth be known, they are now in genuine danger of dropping out of the top four into the twilight zone that is 5, 6, 7, & 8.
No one ever makes the Grand Final from there.
WESTERN BULLDOGS: 3.2, 11.4, 13.7, 17.11 (113). Goals: Welsh 5, Johnson 4, Boyd, Cooney, Giansiracusa, Gilbee, Hahn, Harbrow, Hargrave, Hill.
SYDNEY SWANS: 5.3, 6.6, 9.11, 14.13 (97). Goals: McVeigh 6, Hall 3, J. Bolton, Brennan, Jack, Richards, Veszpremi, and Anyone Called Trevor.
At Manuka Oval, Canberra.
Crowd:13,550.
Never seen a frame of the Tigers game, again, due to the fact that by some quirk of scheduling they found themselves up against the Other Bulldogs in a match again played simultaneously as the Swans game.
Pulled the wrong reign when I passed up the chance at half price tickets to see the Tigers go ‘round against what should be my local team but isn’t, given that we have lived in the heart of Bulldogs territory for the past twelve years, just two suburbs down from the streets of fear.
My children hate the Bulldogs
Seasoned observers at the ground described it as a display of vintage Champaign rugby league.
Admittedly against a side that’s been completely done in in the head by various things, not to mention the sensational departure of Money Bill Williams.
A sad season that got even sadder for the boys from Belmore.
It’s no good when you are described on the back page of the fishwraps as “shattered”, “demoralized”, & “perplexed”.
Not often that you see a once proud team meekly cop a ten try football lesson in the modern game.
It used to be called a good old fashioned thrashing back in the olden days.
SC Sheens before the match was apparently heard to exhort his players “if you do some of the work in the forwards for yourself against this mob, you might even get yourself a meat pie.”
They went out with coach’s instructions to hit them hard and hit them often in the most vulnerable part, right up the middle of the ruck, which is where everything happens in rugby league.
Some superb work out of dummy half by Farah and Fulton, by all reports, and then, as always, the backs can look after themselves.
In the end it was a very good advertisement for the “mercy rule” with less than ten minutes left in the match.
Why continue to bash each other up?
The trusty abacus is for the moment leaning up against a wall somewhere in the junior recruitment office, given that the club secretary and the coach have no use for it for the time being.
CANTERBURY-BANKSTOWN BULLDOGS 4. Tries: Nanai.
WESTS TIGERS 56. Tries: Gallant (2), Heighington (2), Te'o (2), Tagive, Fulton, Halatau, Marshall. Goals: Marshall (8).
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 16,121.
Worth noting:
The first time this season that attendance at a Balmain match exceeded that of the Swans game.
Thank The Good Lord Joisus that there’s now bigger fish to fry in Beijing.
They won’t be needing turnstiles at the Olympics, on account of the party will make sure that the stands, everywhere, are full to the brim with locals, even if they have to pull them off the street at Lidcombe Station.
Loose the bears on the midgets and let the gaming begin!
