Aghastee's,
Amid the chaos of the of the up-for-grabs Grannie going to Brisvegas and the ensuing uproar over why it wasn't "given" to brand new Perth or "desperate" Adelaide, there are, believe it or not, bigger fish to fry. Of course The Powers That Be selected a certified shithole as the venue, where the dog racing track was only removed in 1993, and nothing much else has changed since. The AFL knew full well the value of the enormous sacks of Palaszczuk Pineapples stacked on the back of trucks that would be coming their way for graciously awarding That One Day in September to the Gabba. The QLD Premier herself says "it's a proud moment for Queensland" and that's that. Despite the howls of protest from everywhere except north of the Tweed, the 'other contenders' should have known all along that after bleeding money left right and centre during this frightful season for the football authorities, cash is king and the honky dollar does the talkin' from now on. Either way you look at it, it's history in the making or the thin edge of the wedge with the divine right of Melbourne to host The Big One finally and so rudely stripped away. The first night Grand Final means that will now never change back to Satdee Arvo.
Depending on who you talk to, Lord McLachlan is either the shining knight on a white steed who "saved the season!" against all odds (and will no doubt lap up the plaudits along with his considerably bloated stipend), or he'll leave the game with a permanently damaged 'brand'. To be fair, good on them for getting this far with all the incalculable number of unexpected twists and turns thrown up by The Corona, as well as contributing to the mental well-being of the poor poor punters in the Melbourne metro area, but for everyone else, there's that nagging feeling of a set up here. As My Spy At The Ground remarked about whoever wins this year's convoluted Premiership flag "their name will always have an asterisk next to it in the history books". At the end of the day, when its all said and done in the final paralysis, there is no getting away from the fact it's been a shit season. You do have to wonder what kind of drugs the schedulers were taking if they reckoned sending the Swans to the "build up" to the wet season in the tropics was a good idea. Folks go Troppo in that weather, for Chrissake!
SYDNEY: 2.0, 7.2, 7.4, 10.7 (67). Goals: McInerney 2, Parker 2, Clarke, Hayward, McLean,
Rowbottom, Taylor, Wicks.
MELBOURNE: 2.3, 2.4, 3.7, 6.10 (46). Goals: Brayshaw, Brown, Harms, May, Neal-Bullen,
Spargo.
At Cazaly's Oval, Cairns.
Crowd: 3,119*.
It's been yet another winter of discontent as predicted - virus or no virus - when both yr teams were out of contention weeks ago. The Dear Ol' Swannies are rotating rookies to "blood" them in the big time, with the season that long gone, while over in rugby league la la land it would take a mathematical miracle of which the Stats Guru would be proud for the Mighty Tiges to make the finals, what with their "horror run home". Never mind the weekend's stunning upset 34-32 win over the evil Silver Tails, the recriminations and blame game at managerial and dysfunctional board level go on as usual - Balmain, as always, the soap opera of footy politics.
No, at times like these, when all hope is lost and there is very little if anything left to cling to, it's always comforting to find shelter in nostalgia. So it would be most remiss of me not to mention the impending retirement at the end of the season of Chris "The Try Scoring Freak" Lawrence.
When you clearly remember him being the youngest player ever to debut for Balmain at age 17 (the year after the Miracle Year and Premiership in 2005), and recall most everything he's done in a storied 14 year career at the top, it tells you just how rusted on yr fandom is. If memory serves, he scored a load of tries from outside center in his early games and there were cries from commentators numerous of "Chris Lawrence! Untouched and under the black dot! The kid's a try scoring freak!", and the nickname stuck. Around the club he is known by everyone as "Rowdy" due to his quiet off field demeanour, but on field he becomes this brute of a demon. A 6'2" 100 kilogram bulldozer with a genuine turn of pace and legs like farkin' tree stumps. The Freak is a very solid unit for a centre, and he's always reminded me of those kind of people who can just waltz through solidly locked doors, let alone anything left ever so slightly ajar. The 250 gamer has never had much of a jink or a weave on him, but Rowdy's got one of the best "steps" in the game; at his best he could pivot on a sixpence any which way he liked, and he's got a great eye for the slightest gap in the opposition defences and would dart his way through, touch the ball on the ground in the in-goal, and then just throw the pill away. And when he didn't have the ball he liked to throw his weight around. Particularly so when he lost a yard in pace and made a calculated and clever late career change to switch to the pack and play in the second row, which prolonged his playing days by five years. He was always very rugged in defence, but as he matured he made opposition players pay with some tremendous hits - he liked to line blokes up from a long way out and smash 'em shitless in a shirtfront, but he was as good if not better at the try-saving flying-tackle around the legs. The longevity of his career has surprised even the man himself - he's come back from his fair share of serious injuries, including a dreadful late-career face re-arrangement with eleven fractures, and he lost count long ago of how many times he's just broken his nose. And now it's time to take a bow and leave the battlefield at the age of almost 32, with the body finally giving up him.
A superlative clubman, he achieved the now rare feat of playing every single one of his 250 games in The Black & Gold. The one club man is hard to find these days. The Freak is already a Life Member at Balmain after playing 200 games, and easily reserved his place in the Pantheon - that special place for old champions to rest of their laurels somewhere out there on the Balmain Road. Lawrence somehow managed to get picked for Australia six times in his stand out 2010/11 seasons, but he never got the nod for State-of-Origin and it will be difficult for anyone to take the moniker of "the best player never to play for New South Wales" off him. Vale - The Try Scoring Freak. Like part of the furniture for 14 years, you will be sorely missed.
MANLY-WARRINGAH SEA-EAGLES 32. Tries: Harper (2),Taufua, Gosiewski, Funa,
Trbojevic. Goals: Cherry-Evans (4). WESTS TIGERS 34. Tries: Nofoaluma (3), Doueihi (2), Mbye. Goals: Doueihi. (5). At Brookvale Oval. Crowd: TBA.
