Long Sufferers,
The thing that shat me the most about the Swans loss to Hawthorn before the bye, apart from its unforgiveableness, was the useless niggle.
Only that week had The Powers That Be made it very clear they were cracking down on "jumper punches" aka 'rabbits punches' and clips to the ear, knees to the groin, and pats on the head and so forth, and what did the players decide to do?
Niggle themselves to exhaustion, when, if they were professionals, they should have been concentrating on the game at hand, which is what they are paid to do.
Instead they cocked their snoot at the authorities and said "well, if you're going to book one, then you are going to have to book all of us" - trash talkin'.
And then it was on - in yr opponents face all the time, make a goon of yourself, stinks galore...yeah right...all that's all well and good before the first bounce and at half time, but for the entire game, non-stop?
And if SC Horse had told them at quarter-time that they were fools to themselves and a burden on their supporters, would it have made a difference, anyway?
The Swans played very unattractive football, and were so rooted, buggered, shot birds by expending so much energy constantly niggling the Hawks in the very vain hope it might put them off their game, that they'd slowed to barely above walking pace deep into the last quarter when it really mattered, only to be beaten by a goal after the siren.
They will rue the day come September.
If Sydney can't beat the hapless Hawks - in the year they've both had - then the Swans can't beat anyone on their day.
The Stats Guru gave me a call and said it was his melancholy duty to report that, statistically speaking, the miserability is done and it's season over for the Swans.
Making the top eight - only to be had for breakfast in the first week of the finals - is now a very remote possibility; the Guru was so aggrieved he didn't even to bother to whirl the abacus to find out for sure, safe in the knowledge that all hope is lost with 52.17% of the season gone.
What do they say about "playing for pride" from here on in?
OK, their season has been cruelled by injury - we know that, as Bruce would say - and there have been some heroics, but some fairly spectacular failures also; no names, no pack drill.
But it's a fair bet to say that the likes of Jack, Hannebery, and Heeney the Cardiff Zucchini with a sea anemone upon his head...the mid-field in-toto actually...would be well out for the running for the Brownlow, in fact they would be lucky to have scraped together a vote between them.
The mix of yoof and experience isn't right, and they don't have a first-line first-rate ruckman - haven't had for years; don't get me wrong, Sinclair and Naismaith are handy players, but they're journeymen.
And they just haven't got - but need - a viscous mongrel like the Pygs' Toby Greene, who can play, but has disqualified himself from winning the Chas on account of the Bamfords took a dim view of him from the off.
Sydney have the makings of a good serial pest in Tom "Pearl" Papley, he just will not shut up - but he needs more work.
There is nothing for it now but to just enjoy the rake's progress of last year's and this year's draft picks; there are blokes going around who know right now that they will be making retirement plans at the end of the year.
What they did on a bog track last night in Sydney is all rather academic now.
It was pleasing to hear that they whipsawed the Evil Bulldogs [the game all but passed me by - Thursday night football, what are they thinking, footy four days a week?] in a tiny bit of pay back for last year's Grannie, but in the Grand Scheme of Things, revenge barely matters.
My Spy at the Ground was not moved enough to venture any comment.
Sydney's win-loss ratio of 4-7 is now significantly better than 0-6, but really, it should now be 5-6 if it weren't for the bugger-up shocker against the Hawks.
It was two weeks ago now, the Guru called it.
The Official End of An Era.
And what an epoch it was too.
The Swans have made the finals 13 times in the past 14 years, for just two Premiership bloody flags.
Don't mention the two lost Grand Finals under Longmire's watch.
Just don't.
Horse is into his 7the year on the job, so all you can do is trust the board to have a succession plan in place.
Just saying.
That's all.
In the rugby league caper over at Leichhardt, it's been 'season over' for quite a while now.
It's clear that Clearly It's Cleary has made precious little difference as Head Coach in a club that is deeply riven and fractured by entrenched factionalism, favouritism, and foolishness.
It was a noble effort against St George last week, with an excellent second half comeback, to go down by two points, but with 50.00% of the season gone in the comp, at 3-9 plus the bye, with a points differential of -137, looks like they will be in a death fight with the Newcastle Knights to avoid the most dubious honour of them all - the Wooden Spoon.
Little point in going into all the tawdry politics of it anymore, the Mighty Tigers will not make the finals for the sixth consecutive year.
A hard team to follow all right.
Since The Glorious Victory in the Miracle Year of '05, Balmain have only finished in the top 8 twice.
That makes me sad.
Could go on, but can't.
Too upsetting.
Boo hoo.
