Aviators,
Found myself at 35,000 feet leaving on a jet plane from Adelaide on Saturday afternoon.
As the Boeing 737-800 touched down on the tarmac at KSA, a kiddie a few rows back from me - you'd put the lad at 8-9 years old - loudly exclaimed "WE MADE IT! WE'RE ALIVE!"
There were a few chuckles and a ripple of applause around about, as if to say, "yup, we are the lucky ones, son".
In the row across the aisle from me, there was another boy, also aged 8-9, who quietly wept for a minute or so as we were preparing to land, dabbed his eyes with his hanky, and then smartened up for landing.
Don't think anybody else noticed, but his father, a heavily tattooted cabinet maker from the Eyre Peninuslar, saw me notice and leaned across the aisle and whispered to me "It's alright. He's a bit upset. He had really really hoped that he would see the Sydney Harbour Bridge, as he's never seen it before, but obviously he's buckled up, and we are on the wrong side of the plane, and we're not stopping here, we're going straight through to Coolangatta on holiday. He's over it now, just another life experience for the boy."
Shrugged my shoulders and said nothing, but at that moment, couldn't imagine the concept of disappointment more poignantly.
Walked in through the front door at Camp Campsie and switched on the trusty transistor radio set on the back deck [it took a while for the thing to work properly as the electricity through battery terminals slowly dried them out after a couple of days of heavy rain in the Emerald City, apparently], only to find that the Tigers, playing the NZ Worriers, in Wellington of all places [their usual home ground is in Auckland] had already been robbed blind by the Bamfords, with two tries disallowed after just ten minutes of play.
Joisus.
Soon after, Balmain hit back with two legal tries to go 12-0 up, then the Worriers hit back with two tries of their own in quick smart time, before "scoring, without doubt, the most bizzare try of the year", which went for a full hundred yards from end to end, bounced off all and sundry, involved two kicks in play and at least eight sets of hands as far as anyone could tell...running Rugby League at its finest, by all accounts.
If that wasn't mad enough, the game turned into one of those wild and crazy games of football in the second half; after the Tedesco kidde went off with a head knock, the Tigers clearly completely lost the plot and the Worriers ran in no less than five tries without reply in the last 18 minutes of the match to notch up a right walloping.
Talk about the flood gates opening out-of-control style, and New Zealander's know all about floodgates, they'll tell you, you don't need to ask.
Coach Harry Potter must be tearing out what's left of the hair on his head wondering how to arrest the inconsistency syndrome that has plauged Balmain in recent seasons; win big one week, lose big the next - the inability to string together a purple patch - and you need at least a couple of those a season to threaten the top four.
The Club Secretary would be fair shitting himself about the gate reciepts [or lack thereof] for this coming weekend's match against the Silvertails at the spiritual home, Leichhardt Oval.
He'd be thinking that the vista out over the Parammatta River from the Swimming Pool End would be fairly bleak right now.
He'd be hating the fact that the fishwraps are full of news that he doesn't have a penny to rub together, and Balmain are way worse than stoney broke.
How he pays the players is anyone's guess.
No doubt the uphill battle this year will be worse than the climb up Heartbreak Hill to the Mary St Entrance.
Still, always thought there could be money in some sort of match-day chair-lift/flying fox arrangement up to there, or perhaps a fleet of sedan chairs manned by illegal immigrants.
Maybe just pop a note in the suggestion box suggesting that with a well priced exorbitant fare, it would be a most valuable public service, and could turn a much needed buck for the club.
There's some thinking to do this year both in and outside the box that is the Football Dept, but by lordy, the prospect of a knight in shining armour is looking slim.
NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS 42. Tries: Fisiiahi (4), Johnson, Vatuvei, Bukuya, Tomkins. Goals: Johnson (5).
WESTS TIGERS 18. Tries: Anasta, Tedesco, Farah. Goals: Richards (3).
At Wellington Regional Stadium.
Crowd: 22,512.
By the appearance of the television pictures, there seemed to be plenty of empty seats at Cathy Freeman Stadium after the first round disgrace against the Pygmies.
Sydneysiders must be the most fickle sports fans in the world when their team is losing.
Suppose they'd think that given that, at the minute, it's no Goodes Train, no cigar, with Coach Horse clutching at straws.
Spent most of the second quarter asleep on the lounge, and finding myself bereft of any cocaine or methampethamines, opted for other stimulants on hand to get through the Championship Quarter, but by the end of that every player on the ground was utterly rooted - total lack of genuine match fitness on the part of both sides - me also - so was forced to put a couple of matchsticks under my eyelids to keep them open for the final stanza.
Just as Collingwood kicked the last two goals of the game and The Fat Lady sang, the matcheads spontaneously combusted and set my not insubstantial eyebrows on fire.
As the final hooter sounded, a message chattered in on the bush telegraph in the corner of the loungeroom.
Got up and ripped the ticker tape off the machine and deciphered the Morse code.
It was my spy at the ground.
"Crowd figure about right Stop Emerald City citizens have already lost interest Stop Pies fans too poor to travel after losing their jobs building cars Stop Forward line a shambles Stop Buddy playing on one leg Stop Even the Swans fan who won $1000 in the Citibank raffle was shattered Stop Sad Stop".
Enough said.
Then again, the Stats Guru insists that the last time the Swans found themselves down 0-2 at that start of the season was back in the Miracle Year 2005, and we all know what happened then.
Still, yet again, as my brother said at the wake, "You can't win the Premiership in the first couple of weeks, but you can lose it".
Take your pick.
SYDNEY: 3.1, 7.1, 9.7,10.9 (69). Goals: Franklin 2, Rampe, Malceski, Pyke, McGlynn, Hannebery, Reid, Cunningham, Jetta.
COLLINGWOOD: 1.2, 5.5, 9.10, 12.17 (89). Goals: Elliott 3, Goldsack 2, Cloke 2, Pendlebury, Sinclair, Swan, Beams, Young.
At Oympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 32,347.
