Saturday, June 30, 2007

a stroll in kardinia park




It was as if I had spent my whole life waiting for the moment when I could freeze my tits off and get a wet arse arse standing on the Gary Ablett Terrace at Kardinia Park while watching the Swans getting flogged by the Cats.
Now I have another mission in life:
Never ever return to Geelong as long as you shall live.
As Tourism Victoria puts it in the brochure "one visit is one too many"
Diatribe to follow if and when I recover from the treatment for post traumtic disorder.
In the meantime, a few snaps taken by one Mr Risky Business.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

a girl at the football



Fellow denizens of the cheap seats,

Well, what can you say about the most dismal performance of the season?
Surprised there weren’t more Swans fans rattling the bars on the box office demanding their money back, or was it just that the more disgruntled had left in disgust at three quarter time?
The first half mistakes were from a team that had just come off the bye and had been enjoying a few too many bbq’s.
I could be mistaken, but at one stage in the second quarter me and my children were simultaneously pointing and waving our arms at the goal screaming “kick long! see if you can’t pull off a good chest mark!
The Swans would have been lucky to pull in one or two marks inside their own 50m in the entire first half.
BBB Hall was having a really hard time trying to catch the ball with his knees.
There was one passage of play in the first quarter that involved the Swans performing about fifteen hand-balls, only to find themselves further away from goal than when they had started.
Three scoring shots to half time and even a gigantic tusk up the runter from the coach wasn’t going to win it from there.
In fact, uncharacteristically, SC Roos just had no answers against a well coached team who had come to play determined to beat the Swans at their own game.
As a result, the “spectacle” was just appalling to watch, and what used to be the best value Saturday night entertainment in all of Sydney, now had the feeling of a decided waste of time and money.
All epitomized by a sight seen deep into the second quarter, when the Goodes Train managed to intercept the ball on the half back flank, and then for reasons best known to himself, under no pressure, completed a full cartwheel and somehow managed to throw the thing clean out of bounds.
Looked pretty sheepish after that, and with good reason!
Just like his fans, A.Rocca is a very ugly piece of work up close and personal, but it was his well timed goals that did in a team that was beaten from the opening siren.
The very substantial attendance of traveling ‘Pies fans would have a great time on the overnight busses back to Melbourne.
On our way home on the event bus after the game, a woman in her 70’s announced for anyone who was listening in quite a loud voice:
“well, if you ask me, it’s about time that Barry Hall considered retirement”
The whole bus, as one, went “oooooh”, as they immediately realised the rather large nature of the call that had just been made.
It was obviously a prepared statement, as she emphasized the first syllable of each word as she spoke them.
Then she said:
“well? you know it’s true!”
Then a bloke in the seat behind her said.
“you know what? I think you are right!”
Then the bus just returned to its usual hubbub of individual post mortems and incriminations.
Years and years ago I was talking to a girl at the football, who insisted that every now and then an angel would fly over the football ground and the people at the ground would suddenly, and inextricably become hushed at the same moment.
You could almost hear a pin drop.
It would last only for a few seconds before the normal hubbub of the crowd would resume.
Over time, found that it’s always a good idea then to get the crazy craves massive hooter call going.
Always, without fail, it turns heads.
Can be done sitting or standing, always done with both hands cupped around the lips, and starts with a very loud & clear “c’mon!”…Lleyton Hewitt’s is a weak poof’s attempt in comparison…followed up…after a suitable interval and a deep breath to make the most of whatever lung capacity is remaining…with a “Swaaaaaaaaniiiiiesss!”
Then usually cough guts up.
Certainly, marks you out in the crowd.
But, alac and alas, all to no avail at the Western Paddock.

Another loss at home really puts the club under the pump now.
Top eight is now becoming problematical, while top four seems more or less out of the question.
The two one point losses will become critical in the final analysis.
There certainly would have been much scratching of heads and gazing out to sea at the Sunday morning smoko.

SYDNEY: 1.1, 2.1, 3.4, 8.9 (57). Goals: Hall (2), O'Loughlin (2), Ablett, O'Keefe, Everitt, Goodes.
COLLINGWOOD: 3.5, 6.11, 8.13, 10.16 (76) Goals: Thomas(4), Rocca (3), Didak, Cloke, Pendlebury
At Stadium Australia, Homebush.
Crowd: 64,222.

Mighty Tiges play the hapless Bronco’s tonight in a must win encounter in Brisbane, but that will have to wait, as I am on the first flight out to Adelaide tomorrow morning, on my circuitous way to Kardinia Park.

See you at the game.