Sceptics,
Me mate, Risky Business, was up from Melbourne for the week and found himself at a loose end on Saturday night and thought going to the footy might be a good way to pass the time.
He was Sadly Mistaken.
The Youngest, who'd also tagged along for the game, had a prescient experience to start.
Just as we got off the special event bus at Homebush she shouted "farking scored! free beanie!" as she picked up a well worn Swans beanie on the ground that had obviously fallen out of someone's bag.
She untied her hair and let it down and put the thing on her head, saying "whoever lost this is going to have a really shitty night out"
Never mind that it was the worst game of football witnessed in recent times and was a very very poor advertisment for the code in Sydney, the most notable feature of the match was the almost complete absence of Giants supporters in the quite simply pitiful crowd of 22,565 [the Stats Guru was quick to point out that it was the second worst AFL attendance at the ground in a decade].
There was very little evidence of anyone in orange coming through the gates, or in the dunnies, the bars and food outlets [which were by and large deserted - no queues at all], moving along the concourses, and certainly not on the bus that begins its journey at Maroubra Beach.
Sitting in the general admission area - the only part of the ground that was half way full - and you could, literally, count the number of Giants fans on the fingers of one hand.
If the fanciful claim that GWS really do boast 10,000 members is true, then it appeared that 9,850 of them didn't bother to turn up.
Even a cursory glance at the attendance figures at the brand spanking new Sydney Showground reveal atrociously disappointing crowds for Pygmies home games [in what is reportedly a very comfortable, well-built, and well thought out new stadium - as it should be, for the cost]; crowds at Swans home games have also been not at all flash this year [even in a ground that's half-closed for renovation] - and that for a team that is sitting second on the Premiership table and is in with a tip-top chance of making the priceless top four, and even taking out the minor premiership - for chrissake - if they continue to play well.
Now, everyone knows the AFL is clearly made for television these days, but on the evidence seen to date, far from the introduction of a two-team town in this city being a shot in the arm for the code on this side of the island, fearing Australian Rules Football is actually going backwards in the Emerald City.
And there was northern Tasmania crying out for a team, and as the Business commented "jeez - they'd even do better in Darwin".
Muddle headed thinking can be excused, but there's no justification for sheer stubborn stupidity on the part of the fools who purportedly run the caper, not to mention the tremendous waste of time and money involved, for mine.
As for the game itself, Son of Gary was the stand out best on ground in a side full of mediocre performers, and it was enough for him to win something called the Brett Kirk Medal.
What the?
Seems they'll give away gongs for anything these days.
At that point, the Good Lady Wife said it was time to go home [given that they haven't adjusted the bus timetable to account for the shift from the 7.10pm game start to 7.40pm, so the match ended at the plain silly time of 10.25pm and the last event bus left at 11.00pm, and it's a fair walk for a couple of old cripples from Gate H to the bus stop = ridiculous], a call that was long overdue.
The Pygmies do have a few very big units in the forward line, but the long and short of it was that it was Men v Boys, which in any other code would be declared an illegally unfair contest and banned, in case any of The Boys got seriously hurt or died.
Oh, and The Train took a speccy that will be on the Mark Of The Year showreel.
And the Jetta Kiddie kicked a couple of pearlers from a long, long way out, incuding one that defied the laws of physics.
Trying to convince myself that that was worth the price of admission alone, but really, apart from that, the match had nothing whatsoever to recommend it.
The crowd failed to be inspired at any stage and were mostly next to silent, faced with that kind of spectacle.
The place wasn't exactly dripping with atmosphere.
There was a bloke sitting across the aisle from me in a jacket the colour of a beige turd who didn't move an inch throughout and sat there showing no emotion or expression on his face, for all intents and purposes, motionless, as if he had done something really evil and had been turned into a Pillar of Salt.
At least he had the good sense to leave at three-quarter time.
Rather than being at the much trumpeted magnificent new era of the AFL, it was like being at a funeral.
Coach Horse only said on interview after the game "well, that was that, now we move on".
He mumbled something about percentage, which is now up to 144.2%, but the Weagles and the Bombers are not far behind on that score and are also on 40 Premiership points.
The top five have got away, with 2nd to 5th now 16 points clear of 9th.
In reality, the bottom ten teams [and three of them are hopeless jokes] are just scrabbling for the last place in the finals at best, which throws the current competition into stark relief.
All in all, a very tawdry affair; a scenario that's likely to be repeated for years to come when these two teams meet.
Or, it will all end in tears.
SYDNEY SWANS: 3.4, 8.6, 14.10, 19.18 (132). Goals: Jetta 3, Goodes 2, McGlynn 2, Kennedy 2, Jack 2, Roberts-Thomson 2, Reid 2, Everitt, Hannebery, Pyke, Mumford
GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY GIANTS: 1.2, 2.5, 4.7, 5.8 (38). Goals: Ward, Cameron, Giles, Palmer, Greene.
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 22,565.
No news is good news in the second bye week.
You can only hope that the Best Leb in The Game will power the engine room and lead New South Wales to glorious victory over Queensland in Good v Evil III, and come out the other end of the worm hole unscathed.
WESTS TIGERS: Bye.
