Fellow flabberghastee's,
The following did not turn up to play on the hallowed turf...
FF 9.W.Hayward 20.S.Reid 41.T.Papley
HF 29.G.Hewitt 23.L.Franklin 16.G.Rohan
C 5.I.Heeney 12. J.P.Kennedy 44. J.Lloyd
HB 14.C.Mills 43.L.Melican 11.J.Laidler
FB 40.N.Smith 39.H.Grundy 10.Z.Jones
FOL
BENCH 7.H.Cunningham 33.B.Jack 28.N.Newman 18.C.Sinclair
COACH J.Longmire
(*Did not turn up at all. Phoned in sick. Replaced by 1.J.Rose.)
Surely the End of Days is nigh?
At quarter time the Good Lady Wife was heard to remark "that mob are as useless as we are, so there must be some chance".
After the miserable exhibition was all over and the Fat Lady had sung long & loud, My Spy at the Ground limited his comment[s] on the Swans (non)performance at the 'G against the hapless Ol' Carlton Blues to one succinct word..."hopeless".
Amid much wailing, wringing of hands, and gnashing of teeth, the Stats Guru, after senslessly wrestling his abacus into submission, declared that the Swans are now the holders of the highly dubious honour of being the first team in HISTORY...that's right...ever, in the entire lifespan of any AFL/VFL side in the annals of all mankind, to lose their first six matches of a season on the trot, after appearing in the previous year's Grand Final.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Voila! 0-6
Only five more defeats to go to equal the all-time club record for worst season start from the depths of the Dark Ages back in '93.
SC Horse was clearly aghast and perplexed, saying the whole shooting match as it now stands is "unacceptable".
Can you spell u-n-a-c-c-e-p-t-a-b-l-e?
Mr Longmire - where the buck stops - also said he had his theories about what the trouble is, where the blame lies, but was not prepared to share his speculations with the long-suffering general public, as yet another fast asleep word cloud from his post-match spoutings for the fish-wraps indicates:
Worth repeating...
What would Barassi do?
CARLTON: 1.3, 5.4, 10.7, 15.7 (97). Goals: Wright 4, Casboult 2, Kreuzer 2, Weitering, Petrevski-Seton, Simpson, C. Curnow, E. Curnow, Cripps, Smedts.
SYDNEY: 3.2, 6.6, 8.10, 11.12 (78). Goals. Papley 2, Hayward 2, Franklin, Heeney, Hannebery, Kennedy, Jones, Sinclair, Parker.
At Melbourne Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 32,678.
