Lawbreakers,
We were hounded out of the top deck of the Brewongle Stand by the fun police at half time for the crime of minding our own business and not bothering anyone while smoking right next to the large "Thank You For Not Smoking" sign on the fire escape steps out the back of the stand in clear uncovered air overlooking Moore Park.
Wanted to say to the officious official that it never occured to me that any thanks would be coming my way, but then thought better of it.
Instead, we put our hands up and pleaded guilty.
We were then put in the hands of a nice female security guard who told us "you are in the wrong area for smoking".
After we readily agreed with her, she very politely herded us through a crowded bar to the service/cripples lift to go to ground level where the 'designated smoking area' is.
Ditched the cigarette as soon as we were busted, but still astonished that me mate ponced his way through the whole process with a lit scoob in his hand, having a sneaky toke here and there, or that it was still going when we got out of the lift on the ground floor.
Crikey!
After catching our breath, imagine our surprise then to find none other than SC Roos getting into the lift as we made our way back to our seats.
The conversation went something like this.
Us: "Oh. Hello, Coach. How ya goin'? Waddaya reckon about the game?"
SC Roos: " It's tight. I've got to get out. How do you get to the top deck? What level is it on?"
We shrugged our shoulders and looked at the lift buttons.
Us: "Looks like it might be level 5, boss, as level 6 appears to be occupied by Club SCG".
SC Roos pushed the five button and said "What is Club SCG?".
We shrugged our shoulders again.
After seeing three goals soccered off the ground in the first quarter, we had discussed the merits of putting in a goal keeper in the prevailing slippery and slightly boggy conditions, i.e. anchor the full back in the goal square and tell him to use his head, arms, and feet, as well as his hands, to deflect the incoming ball away from the big sticks at any cost.
We put the concept to him, but Roosey dismissed it out of hand:
SC Roos "Nah. They'll just pick it up and kick it over his head".
The lift doors opened on the next level and a flunkie of Indian extraction in a bow tie got in.
SC Roos repeated his question:
"What is Club SCG?"
Flunky: "It's a function room, sir, that's run by the Trustees".
Us: "So, it's something like the Chairman's Dining Room, is it?
Flunky: "Oh, no,no, no, sir! That's different room altogether!".
You wouldn't believe it unless you were there.
Here's a bloke who coached Sydney for how many years, who didn't know how to get to the top of the Brewongle Stand and was blissfuly unaware of the existence of Club SCG.
SC Roos got out of the lift and went and sat by himself, perched on a spare seat a few rows down from us, for the whole Championship Quarter, occasionally tapping text on his phone, looking nervous and intense.
He slumped further into his seat as the final quarter progessed and disappeared with about 15 minutes to go.
Didn't see him leave, as if he went up in a puff of smoke.
Through all that time, no-one spoke to him apart from us and the flunky, no-one asked for his autograph or to have a photo taken with him.
Suppose that once you have given the main game away, you pretty quickly go from rooster to feather duster.
Here's a living legend who, by and large, went unrecognised, forgotten, discarded.
Somebody to nobody.
He seemed fairly unperturbed that everyone's moved on.
The match itself wasn't of much consequence.
Dour wet weather football.
No goals at all kicked in the second quarter tells you what it was like.
In the end, it turned into The Eddie Betts Show, in a clever reply to In Like McGlynn's bag of goals.
Such a shame that the match was won and lost on the back of an entirely stupid dumb bastard idiot ridiculous decision on the part on the mongs purportedly running the game.
Lord, save us.
Swans pinged for an interchange infringement, with the Bamfords accusing them of having too many players on the ground, even though the Sydney bench staff were screaming at the Bamfords telling them they were actually one bloke short on the field and and had too many blokes on the bench!
Lord, save us.
The upshot being a 50m penalty for the Double Blues from the centre bounce, which at SCG means being gifted a goal, after it took the Bamford's an eon to make up their minds, killing any momentum the home side might have had.
Lord, save us.
Never mind that the Umpires were proved dead wrong on careful analysis; never mind the glib half hearted "apology" from the AFL for the "mistake"; it doesn't change the scoreboard, does it??
Lord, save us.
Could go on about it but won't.
Still, it's pretty hard to put up with culpable incompetance on the part of officialdom.
A pity that the Swans gave up after that, reasonably thinking they were shot birds under the circumstances.
Disappointing that they put their hands in the air in surrender, but who can blame them after that entirely unwarranted cruel and unusual punishment for something they never did.
Lord, save us.
After five inches of rain in a week and with heavy showers still about, little wonder the official crowd figure was, once again, well inflated.
A cursory glace around the ground, which now holds a 42,000 capacity at absolute maximum after the re-build, revealed the place to be barely half full.
As someone close to us who overheard us said, "they're all in the bars".
The whole damned thing was summed up well by a woman in a red and white cardigan on the event bus back to Central after the game who announced to anyone listening "I've been looking forward to this wedding all year, and to think, I gave it up for this".
Tickets are in hand for the Menzies Terrace at Manuka Oval for this weekend's early Saturday afternoon game, on the principle that you can't be considered to be a real fan unless you go to at least one away game a season.
Doesn't matter if you win or lose, you will have done the hard yards either way.
SYDNEY: 5.2, 5.8, 8.8, 10.11 (71). Goals: McGlynn 4, McVeigh 2, Mumford 2, Moore, Jack.
CARLTON: 3.1, 3.6, 8.9, 12.15 (87). Goals: Betts 4, Walker 2, Garlett 2, Joseph, Waite, O'hAilpin, S.White.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 28,081.
Found myself in an unfamiliar unusual Front Bar on one of those sparkling days in the Emerald City.
Maroubra Seals Club, of all places.
A run down dump now, but has the advantage of the magnificent view of the huge rolling surf and the cheap cold beer.
It appeared no Brown Brothers were allowed.
It's a a strictly White Bread sort of place.
And 100% men too, most of whom were about my vintage or older; no women.
Cocked half an eyebrow, before realising that that's just the way it's done there.
It doesn't pretend to be cosmopolitan.
Only took to round 8 for the Tigers to hit their straps; fair enough given what's been going on down in Sick Bay.
What impressed most was the brilliance of the kicking game, with Benji, Louie Lui, and The Best Leb In The Game all putting it on the toe in no end of clever set plays.
Eight tries to two tells you they are doing something right out back!
Balmain forwards outclassed the Raiders pack, simple as that, with Heighington leading the way as the "Defensive Captain", as the new Assistant Coach Peter Gentle described him on interview after the match.
Pleasing to note a couple of days before the game that SC Sheens had a meeting with The Club Secretary Stephen "Son of Kevin" Humphreys, probably in some cafe in Chiswick, and agreed to new terms to extend his contract by a further three years.
Despite what SC Sheens called "a flattering offer" from Penrith, he eschewed the extra lard that the Chocolate Soldiers were offering on the bottom line, and took the three years, as the Panthers were only prepared to go to two years, and besides, he says that he still has things to do with the team he's got.
An oblique reference to another Premiership, perhaps?
The Club Secretary admitted openly that there would be a faction in the club that would not be entirely happy with the re-signing, but The Board signed off on the decision, and "the vast majority of fans would be delighted with the re-appointment".
Got that right.
On hearing the news, Benji Marshall said he was "over the moon".
That's got to be enough for anyone.
Sheens is nothing if not clever.
At age 60, you'd want a three year deal to take you through to the "time to give it away, son" end game after a full 30 years in the coaching caper, then take up the pipe and slippers, but only then.
He'd be happy enough to take this week off from Leichhardt after that, and go and coach the Strayan Kangaroos for a few days for a one-off test match up on the Gold Coast.
Reckons he might enjoy having the "best team in the world" on his hands and plotting against the second best player in the Balmain side, who just happens to be the New Zealand captain.
All power to his oars.
CANBERRA RAIDERS 12: Tries: Dugan (2). Goals: Croker (2).
WESTS TIGERS 49: Tries: McKinnon (2), Utai, Fulton, Heighington, Marshall, Dwyer, Fifita. Goals: Marshall (7), Moltzen (1). Field Goals: Marshall (1).
At Canberra Stadium.
Crowd: 13,425.
