True believers,
If you'd want a better go at being resurrected from the dead, only The Good Lord Joisus could top the Swans over Easter.
Even Lazarus couldn't do a better comeback.
After being 41 points adrift at some point during the Champo - in what could only be described a miracle - Sydney, with heavy rain falling, kicked seven goals in the last, as the Bombers just ran out legs.
The opposition, with no pre-season to be speak of on account of the Damocles Sword hanging over them, were completely and utterly rooted at the last break and came to a standstill on a heavy track.
The Swans could see it coming from a mile off and just seized the obvious opportunity to win by 12 points.
SC Horse went along with the ruse and the play acting by hanging his head in his hands at half time, and giving the side an almighty spray at three quarter-time, knowing all along it was never in doubt.
The Stats Guru was on the phone saying it was the worst, the lowest, half-time score by the Swans against anyone in the past seven years.
He reckoned that well qualified for a "slow start to the season".
But not all was what it seemed, and in the end it was a cleverly cobbled together scam.
Mention should be made of Isaac "Mo" Heeney - the "Toast of Cardiff".
Here's a kid who was picked up for nothing in the draft after coming through the Paul Roos Memorial Academy as a home grown talent; being earmarked for greatness, stardom since the under-12's.
With tickets all over himsellf, he walks straight into the starting line-up in a team chock full of last year's Grand Finalists, and after taking his time to find his feet in the big league, looked the goods from the off.
The kiddie can play - sort of a new Rhino Keefe.
And the bloke is just 18, turns 19 next month, for chrissake.
Only made sense that his miracle debut goal in the AFL was the match winner and he was duly mobbed by his team mates.
At the other end of the spectrum, sadly, Goodesy is no longer a yard short, but about four or five yards short.
At 39, the former Strayan of the Year will have rings run around him this season by any number of young fella's bristling with talent.
Let's face it, he should have retired after losing the Grand final, and in the grand scheme of things, actually, probably, should have gone out with Micky O at the height of his powers.
You'd hope he doesn't go the same way as Rhino, who was unceremoniously dropped to the seconds - for good - with the explanation being "yr too old, yr too fat, yr too slow".
Surely Adam can't be that short of a bob that he needs to play on for the money?
At the Sunday morning smoko down by the Magic Waters, Super Coach Longmire conceded that they were "lucky to get away with it" and also mentioned to any one who'd listen some nonsense about "mental toughness".
Bullshit.
Football can be a mind game for sure, but in this one it simply came down to who had the superior fitness in such a long, long game.
Essendon physically just couldn't go on, leaving the flood gates open for the Swans.
Simple at that.
SC Horse will no doubt get an Academy Award for wiping his brow, as he marks that one down into the "we'll take our wins" side of the Coach's Ledger.
SYDNEY: 0.1, 2.7, 3.8, 10.12 (72). Goals: Franklin 3, Tippett 2, Bird 2, Laidler, Jack, Heeney.
ESSENDON: 4.3, 5.5, 9.6, 9.6 (60). Goals: Cooney 3, Daniher, Colyer, Watson, Heppell, Melksham, Goddard.
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 23,274.
Just after half past three on Easter Monday afternoon the bush telegraph in the corner of the lounge room chattered into life.
It was my spy at the gound
Ripped the tickertape off the machine and found the message that read "Parramatta 6 Balmain 4 at the break. Stop. A dour affair if ever there was one. Stop. It would be good if something actually happenend, Stop."
It's alway been a ploy by coaches early in the season when players are still trying to find their feet and build up some match fitness to play the most defensive of games, just try to grind the opposition into the dirt, and then run over them like Sherman tanks in the back half of the game to steal the premiership points.
Bugger the enjoyment of the spectators.
Radio commentators suggested that Easter Monday would have to be the worst day of any of the 365 to play rugby league, given that you couldn't help yourself but eat too much of the Bro Roasts, boxes full of chocolates, and drink too much piss with family the day before, so the dietary/alcohol regime had gone clean out the window.
It wasn't until 70 minutes into the match that the Tigers at last decided to do something and nail the Eels to the cross, with the Pat Richards Miracle Try.
No one at the ground could actually work out what happened, and even on the television replay, it remains a mystery.
It appears Richards miraculously saved the ball from going into touch as he danced down the line with masterful skill and judgement [while all the time having a touch judge up his arse ready to raise the flag at any moment], and as he somehow managed to stay in the field of play while being thrown onto his back, just managed to get the ball on the toe into the waiting arms of the Tedesco Kiddie, who planted it in the in-goal with half an inch of grass left in the score zone.
The Eels were flabbergasted, and knew then and there they were gorn.
On interview after the game, even Richards himself admitted that he had no idea how it occured.
No concept.
If you were a Parramatta supporter, you could find it spooky and have very bad dreams about it.
It's a funny game -- Coach Squeak will tell you -- but the miracle, however it occured, was the finest of examples of the fact that there is no finer sight in world sport than running rugby league.
PARRAMATTA EELS 6. Tries: Peats. Goals: Sandow (1).
WESTS TIGERS 22. Tries: Brooks, Naiqama, Richards, Tedesco. Goals: Richards (3).
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 35,510.
PS: A note on the crowds.
It's quite rare that a Balmain game out-attends a Swans game on the same weekend, let alone at the same venue - that's probably never happened at Cathy Freeman Stadium.
But when it does happen, the margin is usually quite small.
Sure, Parramatta and Balmain both have huge supporter bases to call on and played on a bright sunny day, but the Swans fell short by more than ten thousand this time.
OK...the weather was shite, no-one went to the Easter show next door in the rain, everyone was out of town for the long weekend; the Swans Marketing Dept can, could, and will come up with any number of excuses.
But you also get to thinking how Sydney crowds are very fickle and demanding.
They hate losers, and can't get enough of winners.
The diehards apart, a lot of Swans fans won't start going to the game until the team looks like it's starting to atone for the horrendous debacle of last year's Grand Final.
That memory won't go away in our lifetimes.
And let's face it, there are 24 weeks, and then some, of atonement to be done.
Everybody knows.
