Match Winners,
Mr Ed would of course be well aware of the importance SC Roos used to attach to away wins.
It's as if they are twice the value of home wins, if not on the premiership table, then all in the mind.
The match was never in doubt.
Even though it was a close run thing throughout, the Swans weren't headed at any stage if memory serves me right, and the margin was nothing in the denoument for Sydney fans who don't want to remember how many times they reached for the heart pills last season as they watched the Cardiac Kids go round.
That'll do.
After singing the praises of the Reid Kiddie last week, he did virtually nothing this week, while the Child Parker had a blinder, second week back from a broken jaw.
Go figure?
Not what you'd call the model of consistency, but on the other hand, they don't appear to be carrying any real passengers.
Worrying that they were caned again in The Champo -- but encouraging that they survived, again - that's one thing they need to tidy up when they come up against the really good sides, or they'll be done like a dinner.
JP Kennedy was probably BOG for the 2nd week running, but Beer'Esky Malceski could have headed him.
Steady as she goes.
Interesting to see on the crystal bucket every second bank of seats in the pockets at Footy Park covered in huge advertising tarpaulins, on account of they never expect too many in for a Port game, given that Port supporters are considered to be pariahs, if not lepers, in polite Adelaide society.
Still, they did a lot better than the GWS Pygmies, who on a fine and sunny afternoon at the Blacktown International Sports Park [which in reality is nothing more than a glorified suburban oval in the armpit of Western Sydney - during the cricket season, in a Sri Lanka v NSW tour match there, play was briefly halted as the ground staff shooed a black snake off the playing arena] couldn't attract more than 6,867 paying punters through the turnstiles.
The Stats Guru says he can only remember one worse AFL crowd in Sydney.
Oh dear.
It was was in the dark days; 1994-R16 when Brisbane 135 beat Sydney 110 at the SCG.
The official crowd was posted at 5,728.
The Guru was at the ground that day and says even that figure was inflated.
It was a disaster for the caterers, and came at a time when top level AFL in the Emerald City almost disappeared up its own arse.
Everything could well have ended in tears, and it's a miracle the thing came back from the very brink.
Found myself in the kitchen preparing a cheeky Long Island Iced Tea when the Goodes Train slid into a tackle knees first and cleaned up some hapless Port player who was on the ground defenceless.
My spy at the ground pushed a cable through on the bush telegraph suggesting there was nothing malicious in it, but rules is rules, and the Bamford had no choice but to book the Umpire's Pet.
Goodesy tried his best, but couldn't beat the rap down at The Tribunal and was rubbed out for a week.
Had his ticket clipped.
He'll be happy enough to rest those ageing legs for a bit and then spend the rest of season accumulating entirely useless Brownlow votes.
No gong this year to cap off the illustrious career, but he can still have the cigar.
Nothing stopping him.
PORT ADELAIDE: 3.2, 5.6, 9.9, 12.11 (83). Goals: Stewart 3, Schulz 2, Ebert 2, Westhof 2, Surjan, Broadbent, Thomas.
SYDNEY: 5.2, 8.4, 10.6, 16.9 (105). Goals: Jetta 3, Bird 2, White 2, Goodes 2, O'Keefe 2, Bolton, McGlynn, McVeigh Reid, Mumford.
At Football Park, Adelaide.
Crowd: 19,032.
Let's face it, if you can't beat the Chocolate Soldiers then you should just take off your jockstrap, pack up your kitbag, and give the game away.
A clinical win.
Use the Traditional Softening Up Period in the first 20 minutes to good effect, put on a few tries in the back half of the first half, and then realising that you are not looking even remotely like being beaten, shut up shop and play very dour conservative football in the second half.
Pretty bloody boring to watch, to be frank, but premiership points is premierships points, and Lord Crikey they need a few.
At last, the set plays have started working - all the first half tries were from set plays - rugby league players must be rather thick if it takes them seven weeks before they learn the coach's instructions.
Pleasing to see the epitome of the journeyman, Ray Cashmere, play.
He's apparently on loan from the Illawarra Cutters, of all teams.
Since The Goatman last appeared on the Tigers' bench in 2005, Ray's played 50+ games for North Queensland even though he struggled to cut the mustard in first grade, worked in the Wollongong mines for a while, and then turned out for a few seasons in the English league with Salford, before returning at the start of the year to play for a couple of schooners and a cut lunch contract at the Cutters, before SC Sheens found he had no fit forwards to put on the bench, remembered Cashmere in his dreams one night, and got the Club Secretary to give him a call and ask him to play for half a dozen schooners and a roast pork roll with gravy.
The bloke is massive.
Looks about 6'3" and about 115kg to go with it.
A genuine dead-set Astronomical Unit.
And funnily enough, in the limited game time that he had, he can play...and even went so far as to score a try!
While the reserve depth is starting to look a bit thin its pleasing to see blokes like Junior Moors among others stepping up to cover injury.
Another journeyman, Joel Reddy, can play anywhere, while Aaron "Woodsy" Woods has the potential to turn himself into a complete running forward if he works hard.
The Stats Guru came up with a very curious one.
According to the records, ever since Balmain and Western Suburbs merged in 2000, the joint venture has never, not once, put a team out on the park who have kept the opposition scoreless.
Who can doubt him, but surely he's missed one or two??
From the soundtrack on the television telecast, it appears that there is a brass band in residence at Penrith's home ground.
A welcome move, and something that should be encouraged.
Imagine a brass band at every surburban ground that plays throughout the match, resting only for half time.
A good repetoire of marching music would add immeasurably to the atmosphere during dull games.
Most Balmain Boys would've been looking forward to having the week off over the upcoming representative weekend with no club football to be played.
Then the Monday morning team sheets came out.
Of course, Marshall and Blair would have been the first Brown Bros picked to play for New Zealand against Straya in the "Anzac Test Match" in Brisbane.
Then Larwrence, Farah, Woods, and Fulton all get picked in the City side to play Country in Mudgee of all places.
And Groat and Miller are selected to play for the NSW U20's against the QLD U20's.
All but one of those are regular first graders at the Tigers, so that's half the team going around in matches that really aren't of very much consequence.
The games probably don't even attract a match fee, with the players being told the step up to the representative level is a strictly amateur caper, and being picked for such honours is something you don't seek, but it gives you enough kudos that you are expected to play for free.
They'd been lucky if there was a luke-warm pie at full-time in it for them.
PENRITH PANTHERS 0.
WESTS TIGERS 30. Tries: Moltzen (2), Blair, Cashmere, Humble. Goals: Marshall (5).
At Penrith Football Stadium.
Crowd: 15,759.
