Fellow Hopefuls,
So, after being towelled up last week, the Swans give the Saints a ten goal football lesson.
Of course the Melbourne commentators on the crystal bucket - who jump at every chance to take down Sydney - kept on saying that the Saints were giving them a real good run for their money, when it was clear to anyone having even a casual look at the thing that the floodgates were going to open after half time.
A seven goals to one Championship Quarter certainly shut them up good and proper.
Did like Tipsy being subbed off in the last quarter having been told by the coach "five goals will do, son".
Tippet was aghast after they popped the bib and the fluffy dressing gown on him and he sat down on the bench, only to have Rick Shaw give him a big cuddle and a few licks on the ear before sticking his tongue down his shell-like.
Kurt wasn't expecting, or wanting, that kind of affection from a team mate who is patently as mad as a hatter.
He got subbed out in favour of Gary Rohan, an old fashioned name playing in his first match in 400+ days since busting his tib and fib just above the ankle in a horrific shocker.
It's the very same injury as mine, which is now 26 years old, and it doesn't get any better over time, let me tell you.
A miracle of modern medicine that he actually got back on the park after such a long, long, time in agony.
Unlike the Wests Tigers winger Taniela Tuiaki - an explosive player who could beat Usain Bolt over 20 metres who had a ton of promise and could have been anything - until he broke his lower leg in multiple places in the exact same place.
Taniela never came back, and now walks with a limp and stick, just like me, relying on handouts from the Injured Players Benevolent Fund.
Fortunately, the bloke does have one string to his bow in his retirement - he knows how to cook a whole pig over charcoal like no one else.
So he remains the caterer of choice among the South Sea Islander lads across the league, and as a result has many friends to look after him, also.
Can feel for those blokes.
It goes without saying that the Swans' September starts now.
When a mate of mine realised they were playing Geelong away this weekend he said "as you well know, Craves, Kardinia Park is no place for humans".
The fool who took me to the gawd forsaken joint six years ago now for one of the worst experiences of my entire life, goaded me by inviting me back there this weekend.
He called me an utter whimp when the invitation was declined.
Joisus, just like last time, ice would form on the collar of my jacket as the sleet comes in off Corio Bay on a gale, my balls would shrink to the size of sultanas and disappear up my sphincter that's just contracted to the size of a pinhead, all the time expecting death from exposure was imminent.
And that wouldn't be the worst of it.
That's not even mentioning the endless indignities that the mongrel Cats fans would subject me to; all for no good purpose.
Winning in such a hell hole isn't easy as the place seems to torment visiting players for some unknown reason, but the Swans do have a little form down that way over the years; unlike every other team who routinely get beaten there by the side that has by far the best winning streak at home of any club in the caper, ever.
The Stats Guru is being driven out of his mind by the number of combinations of abacus beads, and is left wondering exactly what the finals strategic plan actually is, but reckons you can leave that in the capable hands of SC Horse, who worked the numbers brilliantly at this time last year.
The fact that Sydney have the best percentage in the comp by a whisker and the issue of the two premiership points due to the draw against Fremantle, only go to complicate the matter at hand.
But you have to be confident that the best football brains are on to it, and you can only rest on the hope that early spring will be fruitful.
Someone, forget who it was, reminded me this week that it's best not to get ahead of yourself.
SYDNEY: 2.3, 6.6, 13.9, 18.10 (118). Goals: Tippett 5, White 3, McGlynn 2, Bolton 2, Lamb 2, K. Jack 2, Pyke 2.
ST KILDA: 2.3, 4.4, 5.6, 8.11 (59). Goals: Steven 2, Riewoldt 2, Minchington, Curren, Hickey, Lee.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 26,730
Finding myself otherwised engaged on Monday night, never did see a single frame of this game, even by accident on the newsreels.
Very good thing too.
A complete schemozzle by all acounts.
As my spy in the miserable crowd of dead set lunatics who were fool enough to turn up to the ground telegraphed through after half time: "the Lord is working overtime to try to help us - but, all to no avail".
After the match there was talk among some die-hard loyalists that the Great Benji Marshall should just be dropped forthwith, given that he is way past caring.
Reliable reports suggest he did nothing in the entire game, just lurked in the backline like a bad smell, refused to allow himself to be tackled, and so hardly touched the ball.
Well, sorry folks, him being dropped aint going to happen.
No matter what.
That was his 197th game for Balmain.
So, barring injury, he will play his 200th in the last game of the regular season and be admitted to the Balmain Pantheon as one of the all time greats, before he scurries out the back door to greener pastures on the other side of the Tasman, where rugby union is a religion and rugby league is a mere sideshow, crying "thanks for all the fish!"
It's Dark Days indeed in Tigertown.
Unless they can wisely spend the million bucks they'll save by letting Benji walk, the days in the wilderness will last for many a year.
They could do without the mistakes of the recent past and not try to buy the worst team money can buy, and invest the clams instead in the Yoof of Today.
And that doesn't even take into account the fact that there's no more cash coming down the chute from Campbelltown any more, and the old Balmain Leagues Club just off the Balmain Rd, close to the Room Full Of Mirrors, in Rozelle is long demolished and nothing's been built in it's place, so there's no income from the pokies.
That can only mean that money will be too tight to mention.
Worse still, there seems to be no-one at all who is remotely capable of leading the Grand Old Club to The Light on The Hill.
In fact, there is no Light on The Hill in the short-to-medium term.
Swung by the Front Bar at The Local on Tuesday morning, and it was business as usual.
The weekend's football had been forgotten.
Found The Philosopher in his normal corner, rustling the political pages of the paper, with a look of resigned indifference.
He saw me, pushed his spectacles down to the tip of his nose, took a bite out of the stick of bitter cucumber that was standing up in his Bloody Mary and said "looks like the Glory Days have well and truly gone away".
And just left it there.
That's all she wrote, so what's more to say?
SYDNEY ROOSTERS 56. Tries: Jennings (2), Mortimer (2), Pearce (2), Friend, Tupou, Williams. Goals: Maloney (10).
WESTS TIGERS 14. Tries: Sironen, Tedesco, Tuqiri. Goals: Marshall (1).
At Sydney Football Stadium.
Crowd: 8,393.
