Tuesday, August 25, 2009

turn on a five cent piece




Loyalists,

Arguably the best game of rugby league football played this year.
And the punters voted with their feet in anticipation, with the biggest crowd seen in Sydney this season for an NRL match, and a home ground record for the Balmain/Western Suburbs joint venture club.
[Although, it’s very very odd that a club which purports to represent all of Western Sydney -- inner, outer and south-western -- should wind up playing home games at a football ground dab smack in the middle of the Eastern Suburbs. What the? Here was a game that should have been played at the Western Paddock aka Olympic Stadium if ever there was one.]
Mighty Tiges looked the goods skipping away to an early eight-nil lead with Our Benji involved in both tries, including that miracle behind-the-back pass that featured on all the highlights reels, but at the end of the day, he left his kicking boots in the boot of his car, and if it wasn’t for Bryce Gibbs, that was the difference between the two sides.
Gibbs had an absolute Barry Crocker, gifting the Eels an eight point try in reply with a penalty for dropping his knees into the back of a hapless Parramatta try scorer, after he scored the try and was well into the in-goal.
What on earth was the bloke thinking? [the judges down at the NRL justice dept couldn’t work it out either, and had no hesitation in giving the fool a two match suspension].
SC Sheens made a fundamental error of judgement in not dragging Gibbs immediately, as he went onto to make more mistakes, and give away at least one more penalty that led to a Parramatta try.
Aint it funny how a whole year can turn on a five cent piece?
The moment Tuiaki went down clutching his leg in agony, had that ugly feeling in my water that it was not only game over, but season over.
[As it turned out the Human Wrecking Ball had busted a fibula and buggered up all the ligaments around his ankle – know how he feels – there will be some rehab involved in that].
Balmain came out of the match, not only dropping from 5th to 10th on the ladder, but with an injury list as long as your arm, and the prospect of winning the last two games and making the finals rapidly disappearing over the horizon.
A footnote on the Parramatta star Jarryd Hayne:
A forest has been felled for newsprint to claim that the kiddie is by far and away the best rugby league player in the world, a dead set freak, a prodigious talent way beyond his years.
That may well be the case, but what they won’t tell you is he’s also probably the dirtiest player in the game.
All elbows, forearms, knees in the tackle, and knows a thing or two about the Christmas hold, the squirrel grip and clotheslining opposition players.
Perhaps the filthiest full-back to take to the park since Garry Jack – and that’s saying something.

WESTS TIGERS 18 Tries: Ryan (2), Ayshford, Morris. Goals: Marshall (1).
PARRAMATTA EELS 26 Tries: Burt, Inu, Robson, Hayne Goals: Inu (5).
At Sydney Football Stadium.
Crowd: 34,272. [joint venture home ground record].


On a picture postcard Indian summer style Sunday afternoon in the Emerald City found myself armed with a hoe down in the backyard vegetable garden, when a head popped out of the kitchen window and yelled “Craves! That thing is doing it again”.
Came up to the house to find the bush telegraph in the corner of the lounge room chattering into life.
Pulled off the tickertape to read:
“Swans stomped on in Championship Quarter. Stop. Beat by five goals plus. Stop.”
Crumpled the scrip in my hand, and reached for a large ice cold beer with the other.
Mad Monday can’t come soon enough.
Some of the kiddies in the side had good games by all reports with Rick Shaw, O’Dwyer and Reg Grundy being mentioned in dispatches, while the Goodes Train would reportedly have picked up a Brownlow vote or two in a losing team [“the umpires darling” and “protected species” is now rated a 6/1 chance by the books to pick up his third Chas Troph. Crikey! Oddsmakers not taking any risks there, are they?]
Seasoned observers at the ground were interested to note that in the first game after the Swans announced the coaching succession plan, SC Roos did nothing at all for the money, and spent the entire game prowling up and down the boundary line like a soccer coach, while Longmire had the head set on and was calling all the shots in the box.
Next season, St Paul will gradually fade to a pinprick of light, before vanishing from view altogether.
The most frightening thing to come out of the game is the fact that Collingwood could win the flag.
Aaaargh!
With Geelong and the Saints both going to pot at the pointy end of the season; the Woods on that performance appear to be entirely capable of beating any other team in the top eight on any given day, and are positioned enviably in an unbeatable third on the ladder.
Perhaps there will be Pies at the MCG for this years Grand Final for the first time in many a year.
A shocking prospect.

COLLINGWOOD 2.3 5.9 10.13 13.19 (97). Goals: Collingwood: Anthony 4, Dick 2, Fraser 2, Wood, Swan, Medhurst, Cloke, Lockyer.
SYDNEY 0.4 4.6 6.7 8.8 (56). Goals: Goodes 3, Barlow, Moore, White, Smith, Bevan.
At Melbourne Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 54,400.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

in the cold light of day




Fellow depressee’s,

Stayed up just long enough to see RT Ponting behave like a fool and MJ Clarke commit cricketing suicide, before draining the vodka bottle and passing out, bleeding from the eyes.
Pup! Pup! Pup! What were you thinking?!
It must have been an abject sight to see the Vice-Captain leave the Kennington Oval with his tail between his legs after suffering from a rare brain explosion, as a mate said, “due for back surgery after carrying the rest of the team for the entire tour.”
The Royal Commissioners are gathering in London as we speak to begin taking evidence on a single term of reference in the Letters Patent – to wit “sheet home the blame”.
Their Honours will no doubt find, in the cold light of day, that the positions of Hilditch and Ponting are now, of course, untenable.
Hilditch for picking the wrong touring party in the first place, and then presiding over a muddle-headed tour selection “policy”, and Ponting for just being a lil’cockhead.
In the time-honoured fashion, the buck must stop at the top.

I’m off to pull a wave over my bonce.
Farewell, dear friends.

Shattered of Sydney.