Meteorologists,
A tremendous wind storm blew up on Friday with the fearsome breeze gusting at 100+kph and causing havoc at Kingsford Smith Airport just across the way; it was enough to rip a panel of fibro off the back of Dad's Shed and smash it to simthereens, and send the ol' fashioned radio set crashing to the floor [old technology - it survived].
Never mind the wind chill factor.
The tempest was no better on match day, when you could also add into the mix sleeting, sheeting, horizontal showers.
The day after, as the Swans braved the magic waters at Bronte and the coaching staff enjoyed Sunday morning smoko in their anoraks and ear-muffs, the boffins down the bureau declared it to be the coldest August day in the Emerald City in ten years.
Like, that's a decade.
Something's going on?
Under the circumstances, rather glad that good seats were unobtainable, as anyone who was in any way lame or infirm and was fool enough to go to the ground, would have most likely been carted off to the hospital, there to die of exposure.
Even the kind offer of a free ticket on the morning of the match was not enough to entice me to tempt fate and catch my death.
In any case, there were two football teams at Cathy Freeman Stadium on Saturday night - but only team one tried to play football.
Collingwood were simply hell-bent on strangling the game to death, by just sitting on the football, closing down any hint of attack, and then hoping for the best.
A very cynical strategy from the Black & White Bastards, for mine, which has nothing to recommend it, but after all, Collingwood will always suit themselves and say "well, hey, it worked, didn't it?"
Their meagre goal tally all came from snap shots on the pivot inside the 50, or miracle long bombs outside, virtually not a one from a set shot.
God forbid if these two teams meet in the Grand Final.
The spectacle, the colour and movement, any charisma, or "wow" factor will be left at the Grand Final breakfast, in favour of a grubby, hard-scrabble game of football in the afternoon.
Very hard to pick a Best on Ground given that no one, on either side, was allowed to shine or stand out in such a dour, lack-lustre affair.
The Bamfords probably dropped some pieces of paper with some names on them into a hat and pulled out the Brownlow votes at random.
JP Kennedy would have been one name.
Did himself no harm in the lottery.
It's inexplicable how the Swans seem to go weak at the knees at the mere mention of the name Collingwood as if it was a synonym of the boogy-man; an 11 game losing streak against the Pies is some kind of hoo-doo, to be sure.
And, by rights, Sydney should have won.
As my spy at the ground telegraphed through at the denoument "bad kicking is bad football, as Wally May used to say" after the Swans squandered any number of chances in front of goal.
Coach Horse didn't have much to say on interview after the match, but did remind the press that the Swans were only two points behind with a few minutes to go.
No mention of blowing a 17 point lead in the Championship Quarter.
Yeah, well, most times you'd give them the benefit of the doubt and say near enough is good enough is fair enough, except in this case near enough was clearly not good enough.
Now things get interesting if you take the abacus out and spin the beads.
Adelaide must now be odds on faves to take the minor premiership with a soft-as-a-pillow draw in the last three games.
Especially when Collingwood, Sydney, West Coast and Hawthorn all come up against at least one or the other in the run home.
Can't see Sydney finishing top unless they win all three; lose one and they'll stil be thereabouts, but lose all three and even the top four is in peril.
Note that certain loud mouthed individuals [no names, no pack drill, Mick Malthouse] have been whinging in the fishwraps about the Crows supremely advantageous draw, having played GWS, Gold Coast, and Port - twice.
Not to mention Sydney also playing the Pygmies twice, as a matter of course.
But as my Correspondent in The Sou'Strayan Provinces writes:
"The AFL made this problem for themseleves as soon as they expanded beyond 12 teams and have done nothing to address it, and they only complain when they find out two out-of-town teams are on top".
The upshot of his ensuing argument being that Victorians will always be Victorians.
Us Colonials will take all the ladder positions we can get, thank you.
See you in September.
SYDNEY: 1.3, 4.7, 8.11, 9.16 (70). Goals: Roberts-Thomson 2, Goodes, McGlynn, Bird, Kennedy, Pyke, O'Keefe, Dennis-Lane.
COLLINGWOOD: 3.2, 5.4, 9.4, 12.6 (78), Goals: Beams 3, Cloke 3, Didak, Fasolo, Thomas, Blair, Seedsman, Wellingham.
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 45,827.
Ah, Timmy Moltzen.
You've got to hand it to him.
After notoriously breaking a deal to transfer to St George [who had his signature signed sealed and delived on a contract] this season and doing an about face to stay at the Tigers via some complex series of negotiations and transactions, he comes back to bite the Sainters on the arse with a hat-trick of tries for Balmain!
As you can well imagine, Dragons fans were most unhappy about it and didn't hold back on making their views known at the ground.
Nice one, Timmy.
Didn't see a frame of this match live as it was played simultaneously with the Swans across town, but my spy at the ground suggested that The Great Benji had his best game all year with the famous trademark jink, the step, the whirly-gig all on display, only confirmed by the newsreel.
Few sides do second halves better, probably because they are among the fittest teams in the comp after they are thrashed week in week out on the training track, but there are some who complain that the long list of players in the Sick Bay could be a result of being "over-trained".
Who knows?
SC Sheens didn't think much of it, drily noting on interview after the game "the defence was an improve on last week", noting "it was good of them to come back from 0-8 in such atrocious conditions" but then pretty much limited his comments to "that's the kind of win we need".
Indeed.
The coach, surely, must be thinking about what kind of team he can turn out on the park in the finals in they get there with a few due to come off the Injured Player's Fund.
Even Lote "What'd I do, Guv?" Tuqiri is getting sick of living the Lote life with a broken arm, and is talking about a comeback if the Tigers get "deep into September", although you'd think they'd be very relucant to play him with no match fitness in the only games that really matter.
Needless to say it gets harder and harder to climb up the ladder towards the pointy end of the season.
The Tiger's cling on tenaciously to eighth spot on the table and the chasing pack is starting to thin out, but they don't have the easiest run home - up against 1st, 14th, and 2nd in the remaining minor round games.
You'd have to think they need to win a minimum of two of those to make September, so there is no shortage of tight-rope walking to come.
Popped down to the newsagent on Sunday morning for the ritual pulping of my Lotto ticket, and popped my head into the Front Bar at The Local just across the street.
The Brown Brothers were very sheepish, after their Worriers were relentlessly flogged by the Cowboys, to end all hope.
To their credit, the Kiwis' openly acknowledged that they were the classic roosters turned into feather dusters, going from beaten Grand Finalists last year to having no chance of making the finals with 3 games to play this year.
Whappen? They said, sadly.
Couldn't bring myself to drink their beer despite their urgings, and left them to drown their own sorrows.
The Philosopher was in his usual corner, nursing this week's favoured tipple, a Manhattan prepared with Canadian Club on ice in a lowball.
While lamenting that the absinthe behind the bar was unaffordable, he flipped his fishwrap over onto the back page, and vigourously jabbed his finger at the picture of The Great Benji in full flight, offering "where there's life, there's hope".
WESTS TIGERS 22. Tries: Moltzen (3), Fulton. Goals: Marshall (3).
ST GEORGE-ILLAWARRA DRAGONS 12. Tries: Morris (2), Rein.
At Sydney Football Stadium.
Crowd: 10,546.
