Aghastees,
Dropped into the Front Bar at The Local mid-week and ran across a bloke who vehmently blamed it all on the uniforms they were wearing.
The Western Suburbs Magpies black and white strip with a splash of pink in the form of a few token [yes! pink! he said] tiger's stripes in honour of the "women in league" round.
He pointed out that women have always taken an interest in the rugby league from day one -- it is, after all, a man's game - and there's never been anything to stop them from doing so, but then posed the question -- does it need glorification?
Everyone turned to The Philosopher for an answer, but he couldn't enlighten us as he didn't have a view on it either way; just shrugged his shoulders, and declined to comment, as if to say that was all that could be said about that, and returned to pondering his gin & tonic.
Always had a bad feeling in my water about this one along the lines of "no Benji, no cigar" on account of the No.1 marquee player couldn't take the field after picking up a knee last weekend at Leichhardt.
And so it came to pass.
In plain terms, the defence was very good, as usual, but the go forward was all at sea.
Lui at half-back appeared to be on another planet without his partner in crime - did worse than nothing - and the Best Leb in The Game didn't really know who to pass it to, as there were no obvious playmakers in a hopelessly disorganised attack.
The backs looked like they were playing on some kind of unusual drugs that turned them into headless chooks.
The new kid on the block filling in for Marshall, young Jacob Miller, acquitted himself well under the unfortunate circumstances, and while he might look the goods, he's still very green and not quite up to first grade standard just yet.
At least he had his maiden points in senior ranks courtesy of a consolation goal.
Just goes to show that the depth of the Balmain roster is getting rather thin.
Looked for all the world that the Tigers might be doughnutted, with their half of the scorebox reading 0 until the last four minutes of the match when Timmy Moltzen pounced on a Farah grubber that was sneakily toe poked out of the ruck, much to the surprise of everyone.
But in the final paralysis, it was the second loss at home in as many weeks which is not a good look for a team that wanted 'to go places' at the start of the season.
Somehow, still in the top eight - just.
SC Sheens has pencilled that one in on the "we'll learn from our losses" side of the Coach's Ledger.
He'd be thanking the Good Lord Joisus for the bye this week.
You get two points that way for not doing anything at all.
Sweet.
PS. On breaking the news that that bludnut Keith "Keefy" Galloway of Balmain had been picked in a 20-man squad for NSW for State of Origin III to the Good Lady Wife, she stamped her foot and punched the air and exclaimed "Joisus! Bloody Mary & Joseph! 'BOUT FAAAARKING TIME!!".
Now, that's women in league.
WESTS TIGERS 6. Tries: Moltzen. Goals: Miller (1).
CANTERBURY-BANKSTOWN BULLDOGS 16. Tries: Pritchard, Barba, Morris. Goals: Turner (2).
At Campbelltown Sports Ground.
Crowd: 19,252.
A simple case of the big fish that got away.
If the scoreboard didn't lie, no one would believe you for a minute.
Or it could be that the Swans broke the golden rule regarding never looking a fish in the eye as you reel it in and are about to land it.
To lead by a point, twice, in the final quarter only to see the quarry jump off the hook at the very last moment.
Spooked by the weird gaze, perhaps?
Doesn't it give you the complete and utter shits when your team kicks more goals than the other mob, and still gets beat?
Aaargh.
Gallant in defeat might be all well and good, but the game was there for the taking, booting six goals to four in the championship quarter, along with the irony of the Pies kicking 21 behinds!
You'd dearly hope there was a Road to Damascas moment in it all for Mr Ed in his first year in the head coaching caper.
Horse worked out early on that the only way to beat Collingwood was to man up and tag them to the point of very distracting annoyance, and when the opportunity arose, create the odd loose man in front of goal and just drive the ball straight down the middle.
Realised kicking to the wings or flanks was certain death against Collingwood.
While the Swans might have missed a hundred tackles, they were like terriers at the heels and trouser cuffs of the opposition, and that'll eventually test anyone's patience.
Oddhead McVeigh's miracle goal from 70m out that bounced along the ground for the last 20m on the wobble, and then veered a little right to roll through the middle of the big sticks without a hand being laid on it had gold plated luck written all over it.
In the denoument it came down to the roll of the dice.
Seabs had a great game in the ruck, for mine, monstering anyone they put on him; ironically that filthy turncoat Jolly couldn't turn out for the Maggies for what would've been a tip top match up.
Usually find there's not much need to comment on the opposition, or how they go, given they can do it just as well themselves, but the conundrum for any team playing the Woods is their top players of the ilk of Swan, Cloke, Pendlebury, Thomas, Maxwell, you name 'em, just make it all look so easy, as if there is no obvious effort required to pull off brilliant play time and time again.
That's difficult to coach against.
Veterans like Rhino and Old Jude are playing out of their ancient skins at present, while youngsters of the likes of the Haneberry Kiddie, along with Young Smiffy, are more than holding their own against better experienced company.
The mix is getting right but the only problem is that it's yet another loss at home, and Sydney are only travelling alright on their away record.
Go figure?
The big issue now is Adelaide and Gold Coast to come - dead set easy beats all year - if they lose to either of them, who will no doubt be looking for a cheap random scalp, fandom will start to get nervous.
SYDNEY: 4.3, 5.5, 11.6, 14.9 (93). Goals: McVeigh 4, Goodes 3, Bolton 2, O'Keefe 2, White, Jack, Mattner,
COLLINGWOOD: 5.5, 7.10, 11.15, 13.21 (99). Goals: Cloke 6, Blair 2, Swan, Sidebottom, Dawes, Pendlebury, Wellingham.
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 38,053.
