foaming at the mouth

Sufferers,

It’s always such fun when both your football teams get beaten in home games on the same weekend.
Don’t think it ever happened during the Triumphant Premierships Year.
Only caught the second half of the Swans game on television after hearing them have six unanswered second quarter goals booted on them on the car radio on the way home, and from there on in, it was always going to be catch up football.
What is it about the Randwick end being such a goal magnet, is it the ghost of the Doug Walters Stand, or something?
But the appalling inaccuracy in front of goal in the Championship Quarter was the end of the section, for mine.
Wasn’t SC Roos instructed to put all the players in front of the big sticks at training this week and get them to bang away at the posts from 50 metres out, all day long, all week long?
Whappen?
Son of Gary, according to some fishwraps, was best on ground for the second week in a row, The Goodes Train was like the Curate’s Egg – good in parts – and The Irishman, McVeigh, Buchanan and Big Ted toiled manfully, but as for the others, well?
Did Spida actually play, did anyone sight the Ugliest Man in Football?
Let’s leave these judgements to those who were actually at the ground and witnessed the debacle with their own eyes.
One thing’s for sure, SC Roos would be on the phone tonight to Balmain Road booking at least a whole day’s session in The Room Full of Mirrors to take advantage of the fact that it’s the only place in Sydney where you can take a good hard look at yourself from every conceivable angle.

SYDNEY SWANS: 5.4, 6.5, 10.10, 14.10 (94). Goals: O'Loughlin 3, McVeigh 2, Buchanan 2, O'Keefe,
Jolly, Playfair, Jack, Everitt, J.Bolton, Goodes
WESTERN BULLDOGS: 3.1, 10.2, 14.2, 18.4 (112). Goals: Johnson 5, Cooney 5, Murphy 2, Hahn 2, Tiller
2, Callan, Minson,
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 29,018.

Mad enough to turn down an invitation to a private box at the Tigers game, and actually slept through the entire match, on account of the ridiculously late start at the Western Paddock and an equally ridiculously early start at the office on Sunday morning.
However, now old enough and sensible enough to deduce that the combination of a whopping great skinful and three hours sleep would have killed me for sure.
Tigers were in trouble, by all accounts, after having a few put on them to find themselves trailing by 16-nil at half time.
The second half comeback was “brave” if you believe the fishwraps.
Learned observers suggest The Great Hoddo had a wow of a game, his second in as many days, having played an outstanding full 80 minutes for City in the 22-all rep game against Country on Friday night.
Constantly inserting himself in the backline and setting up plays all over the shop, but apparently made some blunder due to complete and utter exhaustion late in the piece that led to the Bronc’s match winning try.
Another solid display from the forwards, but the halves were at sixes and sevens, reports suggest.
You just have to look at how well that traitor Scotty Prince is going at the Gold Coast to realize what a massive hole he leaves in the Tigers backline…SC Sheens was quite rightly absolutely filthy to the point of foaming at the mouth when the club couldn’t come up with the right love or money to keep him at Leichhardt, and his description of the Prince departure as a “huge, regrettable loss” is undoubtedly coming home to roost, second season on.
Even so 4/4 keeps them just in the top eight, and you’d have to be happy with the two points on offer from the bye next week, but the next stretch of games against Newcastle, Gold Coast, Easts, and North Queensland will undoubtedly decide the future of the season.

WESTS TIGERS 22. Tries: T'eo (2), McDonnell, Collis. Goals: Hodgson (3).
BRISBANE BRONCOS 34. Tries: Robinson (2), Kemp, Thaiday, Hunt, Wallace. Goals: Ennis (4), Wallace (1).
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 11,177.

complete and utter schemozzle

Sharpshooters,

It’s always a serious worry when players spend more time at the hairdresser’s mid-week, than they do on the training paddock.
D.Jolly seems to have gone for the No.2 buzzcut, and unless there’s been some frightful mistake, it appears J.Bolton has changed his hair colour completely.
Who were the Swans kidding, thinking that they could win a game, any game, by kicking eight goals, especially when the opposition boots nine?
They should have left the lid off the Tin Shed and let in the Melbourne hail and sleet.
That would’ve sorted the men from the boys.
For all the world it looked like it was going to be one of those “bloody point” results, after Magic got his wheelchair mojo working late in the peice for a crucial last quarter goal, but in the final analysis, a draw is not that much better.
Doesn’t matter either that the goal umpire was as blind as a fruit bat and called the last scoring kick through the middle touched over the line, even if Roosy’s missus thought it was a goal.
On interview after the game St Paul said: "I didn't see it, I'm just hearing what people are saying out there - I spoke to my wife, she thought it was a goal, she saw it on telly."
Everyone knows that the Bamford’s are fools to themselves and a burden on the community, epitomized by the farcical scene in the Championship Quarter when the two Bamfords were arguing with each other after both had blown the whistle, each awarding a free kick to the other side from the same infringement, and eventually deciding on a ball up!
Please, give me a break.
If it’s good enough for Roosy’s missus, then it’s good enough for me, but the scoreline is etched in stone in the record books, and that’s that.
And now, as if to complete the total and utter schemozzle, there are reports in the late afternoon fishwaps that the Swans had 19 players on the ground late the final quarter!
Failure to convert narrow losses into narrow wins, especially in away games, is what cruelled the Swans season last year, and it seems the lesson has not been learnt.
Son of Gary was best on ground for mine, and it’s obvious to everyone that the Jack kiddie has a huge future ahead of him.
The Goodes Train was a revelation after copping a gigantic tusk up the runter from the Supercoach during the week; almost had the ball back on a string like the Brownlow days of yore.
But then Nick Davis Come To Save Us did nothing all day, the Great Irishman was obviously still struggling with his groin, and others who should be named and shamed were too preoccupied with which brand of product to put on their bonces.
You can only hope the magic waters of Maroubra did something during the Monday morning smoko; and forget the fancy training drills, if he can only get them out of the salon for long enough, SC Roos should just put everyone in front of the big sticks and get them to kick from fifty metres all day long, all week long, nothing else required.
Is there anything to prevent BBB “Slugger” Hall from being appointed part-time goal kicking coach?
Either that, or it’s an appointment for this season’s first visit to the Room Full of Mirrors.


NORTH MELBOURNE 1.2 3.7 7.9 9.10 (64). Goals: Jones 2, Thompson 2, Hale 2, McIntosh, Campbell, Harding.
SYDNEY 3.5 4.7 6.10 8.16 (64). Sydney: Goals: O'Loughlin 3, Goodes 2, Davis, Bird, Jolly.
At Docklands Stadium.
Crowd: 28,392.


Saw very little of the Tigers game as it was played simultaneously with the Swans game, and the television coverage was on an hour delay, but spies at the ground suggest some solid work again from the forwards was just enough to get the money, with the Lawrence try scoring machine kiddie managing to get over the goal line twice, pretty much unmolested.
The Great Hoddo was apparently man of the match by general acclamation, despite leaving his kicking boots at home.
But even SC Sheens, who undoubtedly has the finest insight into this strange game of any coach of the modern era, was baffled by the result.
How’s this for a few bonmots from the Supercoach’s post match interview?
“I don’t know how we won that game, to be honest”
“We lost it, we won it, we lost it, we won it.”
“We did some silly things. Any thing could happen, did happen”
Crikey, if he can’t work it out, what hope have we mere mortals?


CRONULLA-SUTHERLAND SHARKS 16. Tries: Kearney, Seymour. Goals: Covell (4).
WESTS TIGERS 20. Tries: Lawrence (2), Heighington, Hodgson. Goals: Hodgson (2).
At Shark Park, Cronulla.
Crowd: 17,241.

“The Pontiff’s Seed is Strong”

Bleacherites,

The only good thing about the Swans playing the Cats at Kardinia Park was my conspicuous absence.
After last years ill-fated sojourn to the ground, only to find myself watching my team get beat by a narrow margin in the freezing rain on the standing room only Gary Ablett Terrace as home supporters knocked beers out of my hand; the cry went up “never again”!
Still suffering post traumatic stress disorder from that one a year later.
It was always going to be a struggle after the week that was, without BBB “Slugger” Hall at spearhead, and the late scratching of the Great Irishman [who somehow managed to contrive to do his groin in on the plane down to Avalon!], so, that would have knocked their confidence from the off.
And yet they held their own very well for the first three quarters, and actually blew the Cats off the park in the second stanza, but it was always going to be a case of getting rings run around them by the young Geelong kiddies when everyone else had run out of legs.
It just seemed inevitable from early on that the flood gates would open near the death.
SC Roos was quizzed on interview after the game about The Goodes Train struggling to find any form, and St Paul was forthright on the subject, describing it as a ”massive concern”.
How they bang their heads together and what the two of them can do about it could hold one of the keys to the season.
Magic sadly exposed as being at least two yards too slow for blokes with talent who are ten years younger than him.
The creaking bones, joints and muscles that won’t move as you want them to will always find you out in the end, regardless of your prodigious talent and huge football brain.
Thought Rhino Keefe had an outstanding game and yet he was largely overlooked in the fish wraps’ list of best players.
Football scribes are just as blind as Bamford’s when it comes to Brownlow medal voting.
The difference between the two sides was undoubtedly one Gary Ablett Jnr.
The callow yoof is a genius, a freak, and the finest argument yet for the merits of genetic engineering.
The rough and ready folk on the GATSRO with the banner which reads “The Pontiff’s Seed is Strong” would have had a marvelous day out at the football.

GEELONG 6.2 7.8 8.13 16.18 (114) Goals: Johnson 4, Stokes 4, G.Ablett 3, Bartel 2, Hunt, Mooney, Wojcinski.
SYDNEY 1.2 6.7 7.9 10.12 (72) Goals: Barlow 2, Moore 2, L.Ablett, Bevan , J.Bolton, Davis, Jolly, O'Keefe.
At Kardinia Park, Geelong.
Crowd: 24,368.

Stuck in the office again on Sunday so found myself many miles away from the 100th anniversary match at the SCG; played 100 years to the day since the first time the two teams met […Balmain v Souths, at least] in the very first round of first grade rugby league ever played in Sydney.
Perhaps they should have played the match at the original ground, Birchgrove Oval, being the natural amphitheatre that it is, and just let the punters mill about willy nilly as they surely would have done back on an autumn afternoon with a magnificent view of the harbor in 1908.
Still, the G was a nice touch for the “heritage round”, and they knew the crowd would not have all got in if they had played it at Leichhardt Oval.
After the traditional softening up period it was alarming to see the Rabbits crash over for a couple of first half tries and lead 10-zip.
It was starting to look like SC Sheen’s prediction of “a hard month ahead for the club” was about to come true.
But he must have told them in the sheds at half time that if you can’t beat Souths, then you might as well not be in the comp.
The boys appeared to harden up in the second half and Russell’s Softcocks had no answer after the break for the Balmain backs, and especially the finishing work of natural born big rangy wingers like the Lawrence and Te’o kiddies
Trust the physio has warned Farah off the wok bench as the side desperately needs him to recover from Shaggers Back and add a bit of stiffness to the forwards.
What extra dimension the Great Benji can bring to the side, if and when he returns from sick bay, remains to be seen.
After boycotting the Team of the Century Dinner at which he was named in the front row, ahead of many others, it was heartening to see the great Artie Beetson take time out from his busy schedule to attend the Cricket Ground for the game.
Spies report he was last seen going backwards up the stairs in the Members Bar….

WESTS TIGERS 30. Tries: Collis, Flanagan, Heighington, Lawrence, Te'o. Goals: Hodgson (5).
SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS 10. Tries: Champion, Rogers. Goals: Merritt (1).
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 19,122.

Where the hell is Kerry Hemsley?

Pundits,

What’s this I see?

Team of the Century
Full-back: Clive Churchill
Wingers: Ken Irvine, Brian Bevan
Centres: Reg Gasnier, Mal Meninga
Five-eighth: Wally Lewis
Half-back: Andrew Johns
Lock: John Raper
Second row: Ron Coote, Norm Provan
Front row: Duncan Hall, Arthur Beetson
Hooker: Noel Kelly
Reserves: Dally Messenger, Bob Fulton, Graeme Langlands, Frank Burge
Coach: Jack Gibson

Not a single Balmain player among them, bar one of course; the great Arty Beetson did turn out for the Tigers in 74 games, but then went onto make his name at Easts.
Where’s the great Keefy Barnes?
Where’s Junior, Blocker, Sirro, Garry Jack, Backdoor Benny, Scotty “Go The Coon” Gale?
Where the hell is Kerry Hemsley, for gawds sake?
Team of the century… I’ll be buggered….

all over bar the shouting

Pugilists,

Delighted to find myself among the 44 thousand plus punters at the Western Paddock on Saturday night for the return of good old fashioned biffo.
Of course the entire ground was abuzz at half-time, and all the talk of the bars and the smoking lounges was the huge king hit that BBB Hall put on the Staker kiddie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dsiuc169_w
Even though we were in the best cheap seats we have had for years [25 rows back just to the right of the southern goal posts] only saw it out of the corner of my eye, as it was way off the ball, and for most people in the ground, they only realized something was going on when Staker went down like a sack of potatoes and didn’t get up for the ten count.
And then there were words exchanged, and bit of tub thumping and shirt pulling, then the Bamford took an interest and had come in for a chat and taken out the little book; so, clearly, something was going on.
Then the replay appeared, once only, on the big screens around the ground to a collective groan and “oh, dear” from the crowd.
There were dark mutterings from West Coast fans about a “return to the bad old days when he was at St Kilda”, “rub him out for the season”, “anger management” and “weak mongrel”
And yet, the general consensus of opinion at half time among the punters at the ground who actually saw it was that six weeks would be about the right freight.
The Good Lady Wife simply remarked “poor old Barry, he just wants to have a rest for a few weeks”.
Then, with five minutes left in the match, BBB Hall contrives to put himself head first through an advertising hoarding with enough force to break his wrist, to the extent that it needed surgery.
That will keep him out for six weeks at a minimum anyway!
In the hastily cobbled together Sunday afternoon media conference with BBB Hall and SC Roos [who sensibly didn’t say anything of any import] the lunatic blamed the whole incident on a “brain explosion” and said “it looked very ordinary on the replay” and “I will take my medicine”.
No mention of the fact that the replay clearly showed Staker had hit him in the head moments before and was then trying to choke the bloke, and Hall just retaliates with a wild air swing that turned into a very effective left hook, as Staker didn’t see it coming and foolishly put his chin in the way of it.
Can’t blame anyone for that.
Apparently BBB he is not going to plead provocation, or the usual defence that “it was only a bit of a love tap, your Honour, nothing in it”.
Of course, the beaks who run the modern game in Melbourne will take a very dim view of it, but for us old blokes, it got the nostalgia and a hankering for the good old days going.
Immediately reminded me of Murray Weidemann; the enforcer and king hit specialist in the West Adelaide ruck back in the days before video was invented [and yet he did manage to spend a lot of time down at the tribunal].
Others invoked the memory of famous hardmen such as Barry Jarman, Neil Kerley and Mark Jackson.
But, back to the game itself, and it looked won for mine by quarter time after Magic had managed to climb out of his wheelchair and put on a bit of magic at our end, with a couple of majors.
By half time, it was all over bar the shouting, as the result was by then never in doubt.
The Weagles refusal to flood and instead rely on a hard marking-up game left the gate wide open for the Sydney forwards.
As a ten year old boy in front of me heard me barrack “for gawd sake, kick it long! You’ve got a fifty/fifty chance of making it stick”
The boy looked over his shoulder and said “you’re right mate, and they’ve also got a fifty/fifty chance of scoring a hundred” [at that point the Swans score was in the 70’s!]
Captain “never played a bad game” Kirk was all over the ground, The Goodes Train did a few clever things, and at times backs were even playing forward, with the Ugliest Man in Football on fire and playing like a tackling machine out of his mind.
But Marty Mattner was arguably the best on ground, and could well be the best buy the Swans have made for many a season [certainly better than draft pick 28 that they traded for him for – how is draft pick 28 going anyway?]
So early in the season, and a second team is sent packing from Sydney with their tail between their legs after a ten goal football lesson.
Ominous.
Not wanting to be seen in anyway to be advocating or condoning gratuitous on-field violence, but it’s always very satisfying to see the Weagles smashed in more ways than one.
And now the “a bloody point” hoodoo is gorn, good and proper.

SYDNEY SWANS: 4.2, 8.6,12.8, 16.11(107). Goals: O'Loughlin 4, McVeigh 2, Barlow 2, Hall, Mattner, Goodes, O'Keefe, Kirk, J.Bolton, Jolly, Jack.
WEST COAST EAGLES: 1.2, 2.3, 4.5, 5.15(45). Goals: McKinley 4, Armstrong.
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 44,235.

Another Wests Tigers game that almost completely passed me by, hearing only snippets of the radio call down in Dad’s Shed.
But spies at the ground suggested it was an absolute shocker.
To be leading 24-10 at half time and then lose the game 30-24 against a team that doesn’t have a whole lot going for it, suggests it could be a very long, injury-cruelled season.
SC Sheens on interview after the game limited his comments to "the next month's going to be a tough month for the club".
Matty Head [who hasn’t played first grade in a long while] who came into the side after Farah was ruled out for a few more weeks with Shagger’s Back, actually brought a very good pin-point kicking game to the team for the first time in weeks, but all the good work was undone as the Tigers somehow how left their entire defensive set up in the shed’s at half time.
SC Sheens certainly as a lot of forelock tugging to do this week, as to lose next week’s 100th anniversary match against the hapless South Sydney Rabbitohs at the Sydney Cricket Ground would be simply unthinkable for any Balmain stalwart

CANBERRA RAIDERS 30 Tries: Purtell [3], Tilse, Tongue, Carney. Goals: Carney [3].
WESTS TIGERS 24 Tries: Harrison [2], Tuiaki, Collis. Goals: Hodgson [4].
At Canberra Stadium.
Crowd: 12,260.

"never bet on football, son"

Punters,

My dear departed father was always full of sage advice in his advancing years, e.g., “never bet on football, son. it’s a mugs game”.
However, having had a cursory glance at the recent results between the two sides at http://footystats.freeservers.com/Daily/Diary.html and realizing that Sydney and Brisbane have not played anything but very close games over many years; could not resist having a lick at the luxury odds of $4.50 the bookies were offering on the Swans to win by 1-19 points.
Good get.
The old man was also an adherent to the principle that rules are made to be broken.
A solid performance all round from the boys, with SC Roos finally working out the “zone” [whatever that really is!]
A good start from the visitors for a change in an away game, and the Bears were never going to kick their way through that defence for any sort of lead at any stage, and in fact the home side spent all night playing catch up football.
Good to see the forwards start firing on the back of some excellent work out of the backs – five multiple goal kickers -- and Magic at least showing some semblance of form and kicking a few goals to boot.
When he starts taking some hard-fought one-one-on-one marks, things are looking up.
Rhino Keefe was best on ground for mine, with McVeigh not far behind and Captain” never played a bad game” Kirk did well in marshalling the troops.
Good to see SC Roos coaching from the bench again, and the way the dug-out is arranged at the Gabba, on the television footage at least, he appeared to be swinging from the monkey bars for much of the night.
Tickets to the cheap seats are in hand for the time honoured grudge match against the Weagles at the Western Paddock this Saturday night.
There are always scores to settle in this one.
Seen these people before -- there will no doubt be some die hard fools again -- who come a very very very long way across the Nullabor to see their team lose.
They will be personally reminded of the fact.

BRISBANE: 1.2, 5.4, 7.7, 10.11 (71). Goals: Bradshaw 5, Henderson 2, Brown, Notting, Sherman.
SYDNEY: 3.3, 7.4, 10.6, 13.10 (88). Goals: O'Loughlin 2, McVeigh 2, Moore 2, O'Keefe 2, Hall 2, Kirk, Buchanan, Barlow.
At Brisbane Cricket Ground (‘Gabba).
Crowd; 29,061.


The Tigers match almost entirely passed me by.
Have not seen a frame of the action, and a good thing too, by the look of the scoresheet.
By what the fishwraps have to say, the Tigers kicking game was “poor” to “non-existent” [like it would be a good idea to determine in the game plan who was actually doing the kicks in play for a start off!], and with Farah out with a bad back, the forwards were lacking starch, and the backs working on no-go-forward from the forwards, very quickly ran out of attacking ideas, just as they did last week against the Bulldogs.
Looks like SC Sheens has quite a lot of work to do on the training paddock this week, after they let the chance to embed themselves in the top eight early in the season go begging. The “we’ll learn from our losses” side of the coaching ledger will take on extra significance, as the next few games are no gimme’s by any means, and as he’d be acutely aware, seasons can be flat lined by early losing streaks.
You have to pity the poor hardened Western Suburbs fans, though, coaxed out of their comfortable homes to go to Campbelltown Sports ground, which can be a god forsaken place on a wet and miserable Monday night, just to be denied their pom poms, and see their team get a flogging.
The long-sufferers must have left the ground thinking “can do better”.

WESTS TIGERS 8: Try: Ryan. Goals: Hodgson (2).
PENRITH PANTHERS 30: Tries: Blair, Gordon, Jennings, Priddis, Tighe. Goals: Sammut (5).
At Campbelltown Sports Ground.
Crowd: 11,898.

a politically correct world gone completely barking mad

What's this I see?
The Kittens no more in a politically correct world gone completely barking mad.
A sad day indeed.

Word for word from the Wests Tigers website:

WESTS TIGERS DROP THEIR POM POMS

Wests Tigers has taken a bold step with its cheerleaders in the centenary season of rugby league – no Pom Poms!
The Wests Tigers Dance Team will make their debut performance without their customary pom poms at Campbelltown Sports Stadium on Monday, April 7, for the game against Penrith.
“We want to show our girls can dance without pom poms,’’ said Wests Tigers Dance Team Co-ordinator Claire Blomfield.
“It is the first time in the history of Wests Tigers our cheerleaders will be without their pom poms. Our dance routines will now be based around themed dances, not traditional cheerleading routines.’’
To support the new look, Wests Tigers have dropped the name ‘Kittens’, preferring to use the more athletic name of Dance Team. The Wests Tigers Dance Team will now wear more sporty looking costumes.
In a further move, Wests Tigers Dance Team will be major supporters of children’s hospitals throughout Sydney. The club already supports the Kids of Macarthur Health Foundation at Campbelltown Hospital.
“Everyone knows hospitals are boring places and for the Dance Team to come out and do a routine would brighten the place, especially for sick kids,’’ said Wests Tigers General Manager of Sales and Marketing Scott Longmuir.
“Our visits will be like a mini show and include appearances by the Wests Tigers mascot.’’