Bleacherites,
Joisus.
It's mid February, so thought it was high time to drop by the Sydney Cricket Ground mid-week for the first time this summer for a spot of first class cricket.
Met up with My Spy at The Ground for Day Two of the time-honoured Sheffield Shield grudge match NSW v VIC.
After sending the Hapless Bushwackers in and skittling them for bugger all on Day One, then getting on with the business with the bat, the Mighty Bluebags were content to take their time on the second morning with a leisurely frolic in the park to easily clinch the first innings points with only four down, then cut loose after lunch.
Watched Kurtis Patterson - a compact, stylish left hander with most of the shots who's not yet 21 - make a very tidy half century [he went on to make 93] after he collared the bowling early and never looked like being in any trouble, let alone giving a chance.
He took a particular liking to the Muirhead Kiddie who has been touted as "the next Great White Hope in the leg-spinning department, with Warnie in his corner" etc.
Here to tell you the lad has a lot to learn.
After being carted for 23 runs from his first three overs, the Victorian skipper decided he'd seen enough, and took him off.
At lunch on the picnic tables behind the nets, we noticed that Muirhead had been told by his Captain to forget about his lunch and ordered him to go down and have a remedial net.
Not that it did him much good in the afternoon.
The NSW captain/wicketkeeper Peter Nevill was finding good touch as we left the ground just as the new ball was taken.
[He eventually got to 100 n.o. in the shadow of stumps before declaring the innings closed at nine down and a country mile in front. Then they had the Vics 3/0 in six overs before the close, then reduced them to 6/9 on the third morning, and went on to win the match by an innings and 48 runs with more than a day to spare. Thanks for coming, Victoria].
Both sides were fairly handy, with no less than seven players of the 22 in the dressing sheds being in proud possession of a Baggy Green - with Hastings and McKay being paid up members of the Venerable Society of One Test Wonders.
We were eventually driven out of the ground by the constant din of construction noise.
The Spy was going to complain to The Trust along the lines of "Oi! You lot! We thought the whole point of coming to the first class cricket was to have a relaxed peaceful day where the only sounds you would be likely to hear are the thwack of willow on leather [and doesn't the sound of a brand new ball sound mighty fine being cover driven out of the meat of the bat], the ripple of polite applause, a raucous appeal from time to time, and the odd well placed heckle; not bang-bang-, -crash-crash-, -drill-drill, boom-boom. What the?"
But we knew any complaint would be studiously ignored, so didn't bother.
We took our cue from and the advice of the the raging queen running the Non-Members Bar - who was clearly doing so under sufferance - who told us in no uncertain terms "I've only opened this bar as a goodwill gesture for the convenience of the general public, and what do I get? I'm treated like offal, and The Trust couldn't give a shit about you".
With the Ladies Stand the only area open to the general public, it afforded a good view of the new northern stand.
While the superstructure of the roof is almost complete, they haven't even really started putting the lid on it.
What looks to be the new expansive Members Bar was in a complete shambles, while out the back of the stand there are still wide open gaping holes where you'd imagine the lifts, escalators, service areas, kitchens etc will be.
There is no way in the world that it will be fully finished by the start of the Strayan Rules Football season in a month's time.
And they must have seriously jury rigged the joint at enormous expense to put a crowd in there during the test match, and then they would have had to knock it all down again to get on with the build proper!
A classic example of a stadium construction project that failed miserably to deliver on time and on budget.
The cost over-runs must be tremendous at the rate they are going, running into the many millions you would have thought.
While the new stand looks to be purpose built for football, and will offer fine views of the Swans at play, it doesn't come close to matching any of the existing modern stands, and looks like a monolithic shag perched on a massive rock.
The Brewongle Stand is now 33 years old, and in serious need of replacing, given that it was a shitful unworkable design in the first place; full of rabbit warrens, impossible to get around, all higgeldy-piggeldy, with the seat raking all wrong for any kind of sport you would want to look at.
Everyone agrees - it was a major league fail from the off.
But you'd imagine that won't be happening anytime soon given the incredible amount of capital the Trust is squandering on the new stand.
Ever since they dismantled the 1895 Bob Stand in 1983 and rebuilt it brick by brick, bit by bit at North Sydney Oval, they've never been able to get the stands right at the SCG.
The Spy was out the back of the Ladies Stand getting some drinks, when a large cement truck was trying to back itself in through a narrow roadway to the building site.
The Bluecoat on duty told him he'd have to wait for the truck to pass him by, but the CFMEU bloke stading next to him thought otherwise and said to The Bluecoat "Nah, I can't stand-by and watch those two beers getting warm, can I? I'll stop the truck, he goes first".
And whatever the Union Man says, goes.
Bless.
