Fellow Uncouths,
What's not to love about a brouhaha in Brisbane?
When all is said and done it was the twin tons what done it.
MJ Clarke in partnership with DA Warner.
Never mind the 1st innings, if you play your cards right, there's always a second bite at the cherry in a test match
After MJ Clarke was out to a plodding plod prod to cough up a lolly first time around, very pleasing to see him reply with a well made hundred in the second innings.
Burbs Warner could do what he liked at the other end.
One of Pup's finest knocks, considering.
The bloke is far from fully fit, it's only the fifty grand he spent on Arnold Schwarzegger's former personal trainer's Spinal Tap Machine that keeps him on the paddock - and his mind could be anywhere off field.
Who knows what happens in his dreams when he sleeps.
Superlative leg side play as always, and the cover driving is surely by now in the "how to play cricket" textbooks.
No idea what bat he uses, but when the FX mic captures it, it's a marvellous sound when he finds the meat of the thing, and it rattles away to the boundary.
And the one six he hit reminded me of the one he tonked clean into Mullet Creek over the netball courts from Newcastle No.1 Ground very early on in his first class career with Mark Waugh batting at the other end.
Still on the up as it left the field and went large.
And then there's Clarkey's captaincy in the England first innings.
All the good batting came after Straya had been accused of using "intimidatory bowling" to a leg side field.
When asked on the radio whether he thought the amount of short-pitched bowling was a bit over the top, Allan Border replied "I didn't know that that was still in the rules?".
Always within the Letter of the The Laws.
Won with 381 runs and a day to spare.
18 holes at Royal Brisbane on Monday has been booked by Saturday afternoon.
Make a statement early on, why don't you.
1-0 up in a five match series is absolutely priceless.
The weak poof tourists will struggle to recover from that, mark my words.
Warner should take up psychiatry for a living, when he gives the game away.
Well qualified.
Called the Poms early with "scared eyes", even before the match was a few days old, and then called Trott's final dismal dismissal "pretty weak".
A fine judge of human fraility.
So, Trott goes mad...
Quits Ashes tour with "stress-related illness"
Sent totally bonkers by the experience, and simply can't go on.
Cricket can really fark with a bloke's head, that's for certian.
It's a hard, ruthless, unforgiving game - not for the faint hearted.
Nervous breakdowns in the caper are not a new phenomenon, by any means.
Just ask Marcus Stresscothic.
He'll tell you.
Or Kim Hughes for that matter.
All ended in tears, but mind you, he was at the end of his tether, by then.
Or the England slow bowler Johnny Briggs, who went off the edge of the cliff into utter madness during the course of the 1899 Leeds test match, was admitted to Cheadle Lunatic Asylum, never to emerge from the place where he died young.
Didn't bat in the second innings, where his scorecard is forever marked "absent, ill".
It's bloody marvellous isn't it when the Strayan Captain is fined 20% of his match fee by the ICC for stepping in to defend George Bailey - who'd been threatened by that serial pest Jimmy Anderson with a fight in the carpark - threatening the cocky Pom with having his fookin' arm broken by Mitchell Johnson in the denoument?
Apparantley the obscenity was the issue, otherwise he would have got a medal.
Joisus.
The Bamfords should stay right out it it - the weak umpires have more to do on deliberately slow over rates, which are a disgrace.
If they have the powers to police it, why don't they?
Alice Springs is a wonderful place to send a bunch of hapless, suburnt, psychologically damaged Poms to play a two-day carnival match, where Engalnd's Entertainment Officer Monte Panesar will no doubt be the star turn - before they go on to play on a lifeless bitch, er, pitch, at the ruins of the Adelaide Oval, where millions of runs for not many wickets have been scored of late in first class matches.
Whoever dreamt up that scheduling is an out and out bloody genius.
Prepare for a spot of nodding off and lounge slumbering.
Both sides will be playing for the draw in Adelbrain.
All is well with the world.
Turned over the fishwrap this morning to read that 'Strayan coach Darren "Boof" Lehmann has rejected out of hand a proposal by his English counter-part, the Flower Pot Man, to have a formal meeting to discuss player behaviour and the general madness'.
Reading between the lines, appears Boof has told the clown "nah, fook off, ya git, and go and stew in yr own juice".
Looks like the pasty Poms are going to have the time of their lives in Central Straya:
Alice Springs Forecast
Issued at 5:00 am CST on Wednesday 27 November 2013
Warning Summary
Nil.
Forecast for Wednesday
Partly cloudy. Light to moderate east to northeast winds.
Precis: Partly cloudy.
Alice Springs Max 39
UV Alert 8:10 am to 4:30 pm, UV Index predicted to reach 14 [Extreme]
Thursday Afternoon shower or storm. Min 23 Max 38
Friday Afternoon shower or storm. Min 22 Max 37
Saturday Late shower or storm. Min 21 Max 38
