complete and utter schemozzle

Sharpshooters,

It’s always a serious worry when players spend more time at the hairdresser’s mid-week, than they do on the training paddock.
D.Jolly seems to have gone for the No.2 buzzcut, and unless there’s been some frightful mistake, it appears J.Bolton has changed his hair colour completely.
Who were the Swans kidding, thinking that they could win a game, any game, by kicking eight goals, especially when the opposition boots nine?
They should have left the lid off the Tin Shed and let in the Melbourne hail and sleet.
That would’ve sorted the men from the boys.
For all the world it looked like it was going to be one of those “bloody point” results, after Magic got his wheelchair mojo working late in the peice for a crucial last quarter goal, but in the final analysis, a draw is not that much better.
Doesn’t matter either that the goal umpire was as blind as a fruit bat and called the last scoring kick through the middle touched over the line, even if Roosy’s missus thought it was a goal.
On interview after the game St Paul said: "I didn't see it, I'm just hearing what people are saying out there - I spoke to my wife, she thought it was a goal, she saw it on telly."
Everyone knows that the Bamford’s are fools to themselves and a burden on the community, epitomized by the farcical scene in the Championship Quarter when the two Bamfords were arguing with each other after both had blown the whistle, each awarding a free kick to the other side from the same infringement, and eventually deciding on a ball up!
Please, give me a break.
If it’s good enough for Roosy’s missus, then it’s good enough for me, but the scoreline is etched in stone in the record books, and that’s that.
And now, as if to complete the total and utter schemozzle, there are reports in the late afternoon fishwaps that the Swans had 19 players on the ground late the final quarter!
Failure to convert narrow losses into narrow wins, especially in away games, is what cruelled the Swans season last year, and it seems the lesson has not been learnt.
Son of Gary was best on ground for mine, and it’s obvious to everyone that the Jack kiddie has a huge future ahead of him.
The Goodes Train was a revelation after copping a gigantic tusk up the runter from the Supercoach during the week; almost had the ball back on a string like the Brownlow days of yore.
But then Nick Davis Come To Save Us did nothing all day, the Great Irishman was obviously still struggling with his groin, and others who should be named and shamed were too preoccupied with which brand of product to put on their bonces.
You can only hope the magic waters of Maroubra did something during the Monday morning smoko; and forget the fancy training drills, if he can only get them out of the salon for long enough, SC Roos should just put everyone in front of the big sticks and get them to kick from fifty metres all day long, all week long, nothing else required.
Is there anything to prevent BBB “Slugger” Hall from being appointed part-time goal kicking coach?
Either that, or it’s an appointment for this season’s first visit to the Room Full of Mirrors.


NORTH MELBOURNE 1.2 3.7 7.9 9.10 (64). Goals: Jones 2, Thompson 2, Hale 2, McIntosh, Campbell, Harding.
SYDNEY 3.5 4.7 6.10 8.16 (64). Sydney: Goals: O'Loughlin 3, Goodes 2, Davis, Bird, Jolly.
At Docklands Stadium.
Crowd: 28,392.


Saw very little of the Tigers game as it was played simultaneously with the Swans game, and the television coverage was on an hour delay, but spies at the ground suggest some solid work again from the forwards was just enough to get the money, with the Lawrence try scoring machine kiddie managing to get over the goal line twice, pretty much unmolested.
The Great Hoddo was apparently man of the match by general acclamation, despite leaving his kicking boots at home.
But even SC Sheens, who undoubtedly has the finest insight into this strange game of any coach of the modern era, was baffled by the result.
How’s this for a few bonmots from the Supercoach’s post match interview?
“I don’t know how we won that game, to be honest”
“We lost it, we won it, we lost it, we won it.”
“We did some silly things. Any thing could happen, did happen”
Crikey, if he can’t work it out, what hope have we mere mortals?


CRONULLA-SUTHERLAND SHARKS 16. Tries: Kearney, Seymour. Goals: Covell (4).
WESTS TIGERS 20. Tries: Lawrence (2), Heighington, Hodgson. Goals: Hodgson (2).
At Shark Park, Cronulla.
Crowd: 17,241.