a gigantic tusk up the runter

Fellow Jesters,

Looks like MJ Clarke doesn't like Abu Dhabi much, as a cricket tourist destination.
Probably hates it even more than Dubai.
Seems the skipper had a problem about knowing exactly where his off stump was.
Didn't have an oustanding match by all accounts, being clean bowled in both innings.
Can't recall the exact details, but thinking Pup was bowled around his legs in the first innings just short of a 50, then had his middle peg taken clean out in the second, for bugger all runs
Suppose someone has stopped to think that they were playing on seriousy doctored pitches?
How come the curators in the UAE turn out a delightful featherbed that then turns into a four lane highay, a dusty road; purpose built for a side full of spinners.
Crafty buggers.
You'd have to reckon suitcases stuffed full of cash would've changed hands just to make sure it's so.
On the strength of only two games, the Stats Guru spuriously suggested with the tongue in cheek that Clarkey was in his worst form in a decade.
There were some hilarious moments in the match, like when Pup had a man field at straight hit, right behind the bowlers arm.
He was bagged from here to breakfast for being unsportsmanlike, but, as he said at the time, when yr a million runs behind, you'll do anything to get the bastards out.
When yr copping a gigantic tusk up the runter on the scoreboard, it's anything goes, isn't it?
Besides, it wasn't against the Laws - there's nothing stopping you from fielding a man there, as long as he doesn't move during the the bowler's run up; it's called common courtesy, which MJ Clarke always strictly observes.
There were a lot of laughs also in looking at the Strayan batting sheet and seeing GJ Maxwell listed at No. 3.
Who? Really?
In the denoument, that's the selectors fault, and the buck stops at the Coach.
They're just clutching at straws, aren't they?
Little wonder Mr Clarke sacked himself as a selector a couple of years ago.
You don't want to get tied up in that messy business.
The Chairman and the Three Wise Men have had real problems picking a top order for years, so you probably shouldn't expect anything dfferent.
It's not as if there's anyone else shouting out to be picked.
So, the bowlers are impotent on desert tracks.
Can anyone going around in first class cricket at the minute do any better?
Under the circumstances, you can imagine the Captain's surprise at his press conference on arrival at KSA, when some low blowie put it to him that his job could be under threat.
You could see he wanted to say WTF?, but wisely asnwered the question with a question "Why?"
Pup, obviously, needs to spend more time in the nets, he'd be the first to admit it.
The skipper also needs to be given room to call on our curators in a quiet and sociable way.
It's also a good thing, in the early part, that he dislikes Seth Efreakens intensely.
MJ Clarke's views about Indians are well known, which will stand him in good stead for the summer test matches at home.
You can only hope.