as deaf as a post

Long Game Traditionalists,

21 goals to nine is a 12 goal football lesson in anyone's language, isn't it?
All singing now "What's it like? What's it like? What's it like to lose at home?"
You have to feel slightly sorry for the Crows, however fleetingly, getting dead-set whip-sawed by that much in their first home game at a brand new stadium they spent a poultice on.
"Squillions" was the final entry in the quantity surveyor's accountant's cook book for the stadium build at last report, and yet Adelaide Oval is far far away from becoming their spiritual home.
That only comes with time, a long long time, especially after playing at West Lakes for the best part of 22 gawdforsaken years!
The Stats Guru came up with the most relevant fact of the match, despite it being a very good game of toughly fought football, until the Swans brought out the heavy artillery in the denoument.
By his reckoning, the Championship Quarter went for 34 minutes and 50 seconds, no more, no less.
Little wonder every player on the ground was completely and utterly rooted after that, this early in the season, with next to no match fitness.
No one has ever listened to my long held argument that Australian Rules Football matches go on for far too long.
As you'd know, it's been my position for some time now that five minutes should be knocked off every quarter, and the ridiculously long half-time break should be shortened by at least five minutes, thereby taking a full half-hour out of the match.
It'd be no detriment to the game, perhaps even enhance the spectacle, given the players wouldn't have to worry so much about "saving their legs" in the second half.
By the final stanza, the Swans could barely raise a canter, but kicked a bagful of goals nonetheless against a team that could hardly walk with their reserves bench almosty entirely denuded by injured players.
Who is kidding who here?
It's not as if we are back in the days of the Colosseum.
Speaking of kiddies, it was pleasing to see the young fellas step up to the plate; the likes of the Rampe, Parker, Rohan, Mitchell, Laidler et al.
The strange thing about the Swans is they know how to handle generational change very well, while trying tired old blokes on their books for a year or two simply to add the deep experience.
It was only a matter of time until Buddy came good, given there is a clause in his contract that requires him to "throw his weight around and kick a few goals", which he did in a grand fashion this week.
There's also something in there about doing it on a week-to-week basis, which could be more problematical, but as they say in the classics "we shall see".
My spy at the ground - who just happens to be a wild-eyed one-eyed Crows supporter - had nothing constructive to say.
Most of his telegraph messages were made up entirely of expletives.
And who can blame him?
While either side will be hard to follow this season, you'd suspect, in Adelaide terms, it was humiliation writ large.

ADELAIDE: 2.2, 5.7, 9.10, 9.17 (71). Goals: Grigg 2, Mackay, Dangerfield, Betts, Jaensch, Douglas, Sloane, Podsiadly.
SYDNEY: 6.2, 9.2, 14.5, 21.7 (133). Goals: Franklin 4, Parker 4, Cunningham 3, Hannebery 2, Jack 2, Rohan, Mitchell, McGlynn, Laidler, McVeigh, Roberts-Thomson.
At Adelaide Oval.
Crowd: 47,426.

It takes a very hardy fan to stand in the heavy rain all afternoon on the hill at Leichhardt Oval, holding a shiveringly cold can of beer.
There is no cover anywhere for the hoi polloi, you just get used to getting soaked from head to toe and end up getting a very wet arse.
Been there, done that, but not too disappointed that those days have gone away - the only advantage of my crippledom as far as can be seen.
They must have cooked the books at the turnstiles yet again, as everyone who was there doubts that there were sixteen thousand of them.
Good thing that they've always said that playing at the Spritual Home gives Balmain a ten point start before they even blow the first whistle.
The pivotal point in the game came when, according to the Bamfords, the the half time hooter at Leichhardt Oval was not loud enough.
The clock on the famous old scoreboard had counted down to 40:00, as had the counter on the television, and yet with Manly in a choice attacking position, they were allowed to play on, make two plays and score a try, after the hooter hooted.
In the Grand Scheme of Things, WTF?
Found myself off lounge, screaming at the unblinking eye, "what about the farkin' hooter!".
Would anyone listen to me?
The ref claimed he couldn't hear the hooter above the deafening sound of the driving rain and the screaming of the crowd in a tight situation.
The bloke is as deaf as a post, as it turns out.
Loved the television audio man switching on the ref's microphone to go with the pictures of Robbie Farah, as is his right as Balmain Captain, complaining bitterly face to face with the fool in charge.
The umpire said "well I didn't hear it, and that's all had I had to on, and that's it, OK?", to which Robbie, almost poking the ref in the chest with an accusing finger replied "WELL, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH".
The Best Leb in the Game loves nothing more than giving officialdom a right serve, and why not?
No doubt HQ will send the offending official up to North Shore Hearing mid week to get his new age hearing aids tuned in more acutely to the sound of a hooter.
The decision stood, could not be overturned, time played is time played, and it's the referee's whistle that counts in the end.
Joisus.
But Balmain still went to the sheds at half time 20-6 to the good, [of course it should have been 20-0 by rights] but by then, in the weather, it was game over.
Farah had a fine match; played strong, marshalled the troops from the front to deservedly be the TV Man-of-the-Match.
After years of searching for a genuine half back, the Tigers have finally found one in their own back yard in the form of Luke Brooks, who, at just 19 years of age, has a mighty fine career ahead of him by the looks.
You'd love to have Aaron Woods over for dinner and a few beers sometime, given the idiot smile he has on his face when he does something good or scores a try, disallowed, or not.
On the face of that, he looks like he has a wicked sense of humour...a huge 6'4" monster who plays like a mad dog let loose in an abbatoir...but he'd highly likely be as gentle as a kitten off the field, and is by all accounts a nice bloke, a scholar and a gentleman.
The Tedesco Kiddie, just as he starts to show his unlimited potential is taken out yet again by injury; after copping a head knock last week, he does himself an ankle mischief this week that by most accounts will put him in Sick Bay "indefinitely".
But with his ruthless, relentless, yet erratic and unusual running style -- he reminds me a little of The Great Garry Jack [who was never injured in his entire career apart from multiple broken noses] -- the way he can bust the advantage line at will and put himself into the thick of things -- he is always going to be prone to injury in the modern game, and has been rated from the off by the Football Dept as "fragile".
Such a shame; he could be one of those supremely unfortunate players who had superstar written all over them before their careers were cruelly cut short.
Just ask Taniela Tuiaki, he'll tell you.
Coach Harry would still be worried about the "win big, lose big syndrome", but hey, he'll take the win, alright.

WESTS TIGERS 34. Tries: Nofoaluma (2), Farah, Lawrence, Woods. Goals: Richards (7).
MANLY-WARRINGAH SEA EAGLES 18. Tries: Matai (2), Lyon. Goals: Lyon (3).
At Leichhardt Oval
Crowd: 16,311.