the 'paver with legs'

Snoozers,

At nine goals in advance by the long break, there was nothing for it but to reach for the pipe and slippers and finding myself home alone curled up on the lounge in front of the Crystal Bucket; the dog fetched me a nice glass of port.
Richmond are truly, truly, awul.
They will win the wooden spoon by the length of the street.
It's difficult to conjour up a football club, in any code, who have put out a worse team onto the paddock in living memory.
Sure they are forced to spread their meagre talent very thinly, but it's plain to see that their hearts aren't in it.
Always fatal in this caper.
Only evinced by Bad Uncle "Iceman" Cuz involving a few of his more gullible team mates on a drunken 'rampage'/jolly jape through the Intercontinental Hotel at three o'clock in the morning Sunday, upsetting a few other patrons.
Made worse by the fact that it wasn't as if the hotel staff and security didn't know who they were.
Red lights should have started flashing as they said to each other, "oh, no, here come some footballers".
Ironic that Cuz was rubbed out for a week of account of his omissions, rather than his acts.
The dumb-arsed fool who was sent to the wilderness for seven weeks might as well kiss goodbye to his football career right now.
Notwithstanding, The Ugliest Man in Football, Lewis Roberts-Thomson, having his best game in a very long time at full back, as mentioned last week, the Longmire Influence is now becoming very apparent.
'Horse' is obviously from the old school that says the whole point of a football match is to kick more goals than the other team, as opposed to the SC Roos theory that it's best to win games by denying the opposition goals.
Longmire realises that if you can get the mojo working through the centre and across the wings, then the defence should be able to look after itself.
And with plenty of go-to men up front [you only have to look at the multiple goal scorers in this week's scorebox, and then the ten goal kickers in sixteen goals] there's no need in the modern game for a marquee player of the likes of BBB Hall.
By the end of thy season, SC Roos will be struttin' up and down along the boundary line barking encouragement like a soccer manager, while Longmire calls the shots from the coaches box.

SYDNEY: 6.4, 10.6, 13.13, 16.15 (111). Goals: Bradshaw 4, McGlynn 3, Goodes 2, O'Keefe, Kennedy, Jack, Moore, Mumford, J. Bolton, Malceski.
RICHMOND: 0.4, 1.8, 4.10, 7.14 (56). Goals: Riewoldt 3, Edwards, Simmonds, Nason, Deledio.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 28,414.

It's only slightly concerning that Balmain, once again, are running out of half-backs so early in the season, with the Moltzen kiddie picking up what looks like a season-ender against the Cowboys.
Not to worry, Lazarus to the rescue!
Blake Lazarus has been plucked out of reserve grade to make his debut at No.7 in the firsts against the Evil Bulldogs, largley because SC Sheens had no other choice.
Young Blake has ancestry, given that he's a nephew of The Great 'Brick With Eyes', Uncle Glen Lazarus.
He's known in his family as the 'Paver With Legs'.
True!
Didn't see a frame of the game in Townsville, only snippets of the radio call, including the comment "Benji Marshall's goal kicking is just not up to first grade standard. Simple as that", so in no position to make much of analysis, but by all reports from spies at the ground the Tiges pack is on fire; in this case laying out the groundwork against good defence with some well placed heavy artillery allowing the light infantry in the form of Lote "Wot'd I do, Guv?" Turquiri and the try scoring freak Lawrence to tip toe around the shell holes .
Under extreme pressure in the second half, yet another field goal from the Best Leb In The Game nicely diffused a dangerous situation, with Far North Qld, needing to score twice, unable to penetrate the Balmain brick wall thrown up around the ball, effectively shutting the game down.
Brilliant!
SC Sheens a long memory.
Asked on interview after the game for his thoughts on the team's general performance he replied "well, we haven't won here in a while".
He knows the value of beating the Cowboys home and away in any regular season, a la The Miracle of '05.

NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS 16. Tries: Bolton, Tonga, Watts. Goals: Williams (1), Thurston (1).
WESTS TIGERS 23. Tries: Lawrence (2), Tuqiri, Heighington. Goals: Marshall (2), Field Goals: Farah (1).
At Townsville Stadium.
Crowd: 16,273.