which side their bread is buttered on

Pooch pamperers,

Another very tidy test match performance from MJ Clarke.
You can’t argue with a match aggregate of 93 runs on a dreadfully woeful pitch.
His first innings 20 was too cautious for mine, if you spend 82 minutes scratching around the crease trying to get your eye in.
Was checking a few of his shots and eventually got out to an absolutely awful stroke that would have had him kicking himself all the way back to the pavilion.
The second innings 73 was as good as it gets, considering as the kiddie explained on interview after the days play that he had a lot trouble reading the reverse swing.
Certainly had the dancing shoes on to the slow men, and pulled out a few cracking trade mark off cuts and cover drives.
Thankfully, I was fast asleep on the lounge when he got out, but if you are using the twinkle toes, there’s always the risk of missing the ball, in which case you will almost certainly be out stumped.
Take the $6.50 currently on offer about Pup making the highest Australian first innings score on a decent deck [read four lane highway] in Sydney.
Has to be a certainty, surely?
On the coverage on the crystal bucket, also noticed from time to time that Punter was giving Pup a few tips in the slips on the fine art of field placings.
More grooming?
No sign of Our Lara in the stands – she was probably on Xmas duties in the Shire.

By no means surprised to see the Great Gilly overtake Heals record for the most number of wickets snared with the gloves.
I’ve always rated Gilly as one of the best, if not the best, all rounder in the modern game.
It’s always had me puzzled that for years that the Chairman and the Three Wise Men have been on this futile and ultimately fruitless search for a “genuine all rounder”, when they’ve got Gilly batting at number seven, for chrissake!
And while we are at it, what’s the point of having the finest cricket stadium in the world, when the pitch is no where near up to test standard?
First grade suburban cricketers would have been within their rights to complain about it.
Maybe they should reinstall the permanent wicket square, and make the footballers suffer like they did in the olden days?
Too much to ask; footballers are precious little things, and the fools who purport to run the MCG would be the first to tell you that they know only too well which side their bread is buttered on, and that the AFL does all the buttering.

a cheeky shiraz from the Scoreboard Bar

Canine fanciers,

The kiddie can do no wrong…
In his first game as captain of a senior Strayan team what does he do?
Wins the toss and sensibly elects to bat, opens the batting himself with his Vice-Captain, clubs a boundary off his first scoring shot, then bangs away perhaps the best six of the match, decides to get out to allow Roy to get on with the job, like he’d told him he should, then spends the rest of innings on the sideline benches clapping and cheering with the crowd, as the boys do the business for him in the middle.
Then presides over some very useful first up fast bowling, sees the opposition top order back in the sheds in quick smart time due to some fine catching including an absolute dead set screamer by his V-C behind the stumps, and finishes off the night with an easy as you like victory next to his name in the column headed “wins as Captain”.
He must be thinking there’s nothing to this Twenty20 caper!

Thought the advent of the dunking machine at the WACA was an excellent innovation.
Few things better than Kiwi fans copping it in the drink.
What else was going on?
Did they have Wolf Blass Wenches to fetch you a cheeky shiraz from the Scoreboard Bar?
Would have gone down a treat with the “gourmet” hot dog
Did notice on the crystal bucket; various clowns, wandering minstrels, a fire stick juggler, and a brass band!

Right up into the 1930’s at the Sydney Cricket Ground, there used to be brass bands at either end of the ground playing during the test matches.
And they didn’t just do some polite oom-pa-pa work during the intervals, on no siree, they thundered on all day; the competition was fierce as they tried to out do the opposing band for repertoire and stamina.
Stitch that sound into the cacophony of a large, well lubricated partisan crowd watching a hard fought game – now that’s my idea of fun!

“make no mistake, Ricky Ponting is still the Captain of Australia”

Fellow boosterists,

At long last, the Chairman and the Three Wise men appear to have come to their senses and seen the light when it comes to one MJ Clarke.
For two full seasons there they studiously ignored my repeated calls to pick the kiddie in the test team [in the end they got so sick of it, the selectors wouldn’t even pick up the phone] and when they finally did pick him he scores a century on debut.
Then relatively soon after they give the bloke a major league fright by dropping him, and then only reluctantly recall him only on account of injury to the extraordinarily brittle Shane “figjam” Watson, and then he goes on to pretty much win the Ashes off his own bat.
Now, if you believe the musings coming from influential mouths in Strayan cricket circles, Pup is by every account being groomed for the captaincy.
Der.
That was pretty obvious from the moment he stepped up to the plate, and he didn’t skipper the under 19’s, or Australia “A” on occasions, for nothing.
He’d better play better than he did in the 20/Twenty World Cup, and it’ll be interesting to see how he goes as skipper, as it’s by no means an easy format to captain.
There’s more tactical goings on and more thinking on your feet than is generally assumed by most spectators.
Interesting to note during his “humbled but honoured” acceptance speech, Pup was at pains to point out “make no mistake, Ricky Ponting is still the Captain of Australia”.
What?
Does that mean he won’t be the first to inflict multiple knife wounds to the back as soon as the bloke falls over?
Or will he just let others do it for him on his behalf?
I, for one, needless to say, will be in his corner.

PS Noted a quote from Our Lara midweek “before I became Michael’s boyfriend, I knew nothing about cricket”
It’s probably best left that way.

a gloaming misty sea fog

Bleachermen,

Wandered aimlessly into the cricket ground yesterday morning just in time to see a couple of overs before they went off for a brief shower of rain, and then took an early lunch.
You could have cut the humidity with a knife
After the covers were lifted, NSW quickly mopped up the TAS tail, with without doubt the ball of the day coming from Doug “Champers” Bollinger.
Krejza decided not to offer a shot to a vicious inswinger that cut back a mile in the air, which not only made an ugly mess of his off stump, but his middle stump as well!
With TAS in deep doggy do on the first innings, Katich had no other option but go for the jugular and enforce the follow on.
And then a most extraordinary thing happened.
Champers very first ball of the 2nd innings did some weird and crazy stuff, both off the pitch and in the air at pace, and Dighton had absolutely no idea – the ball just pegged him, neatly removing the leg stump!
TAS 1/0
Matthew “one test wonder” Nicholson then bowled a maiden.
Third ball of Champers second over he had Di Venuto offered a simple chance to the keeper, next ball trapped Marsh in front, missed the hat trick, and then with the last ball of the over, Bailey hit it straight to gully!
Three wickets in four balls – I’m pretty sure that that feat has its own section in the record books -- being the next best thing after the hat trick.
TAS 4/11.
Just a pity there were only 23 punters in the lower deck of the MA Noble Stand [yes, I counted them] to witness such a thing.
The man and his dog were out the back having a smoke at the time.
Never rated Bollinger as much more than a perfectly serviceable first class bowler in the past, but he appears to have found a yard of extra pace this season, and crikey! always been a fan of good, straight, fast bowling.
No one can argue with ten wickets in the match, and the number of scalps he’s already taken this season
Darren Goodger made his first class umpiring debut in this match, and I am here to tell you, the bloke rivals Porky Parker in his absolute hugeness!
If you lined up Porky and Gazza’s beer guts next to each other, there’d be nothing in it!
Left after tea, as the light began to fade considerably, when a sort of gloaming misty sea fog came in over the ground, pretty much from the direction of Kirribilli House.

PS the new Hill Stand is in a sorry state. The concrete for the concourse in front is finished, and they were putting in the seats. They will probably try to sell those for Jan 2. But as for the rest of it, I counted 16 steel fixers crawling all over one third of the first deck, the foundations appeared to have just been poured for the middle third, while the other third – well there‘s just nothing there! They will be very lucky to have the thing finished for the start to the new Sydney Swans season; more like in time for the last game.

no pumpkin sitting on his shoulders

Big hitters,

You have to feel sorry for the inform bats who are going around in first class cricket at the moment, given that none of them have a snowflakes chance in hell of breaking into the first XI this season, the way the top and middle order is traveling [admittedly, against a pop gun attack].
For blokes like Simon Katich [currently averaging 178], who is driven by fear and loathing, it must be particularly galling to know that you can go around the country and score big runs at will on all types of pitches against all types of bowling, and still your name won’t even get past the Blue Coat guarding the door at the meetings of the Chairman and the Three Wise Men.
Pomersbach [2nd in the averages] has managed to rule himself out, after finding himself “suspended indefinitely”, for some kind of mysterious encounter with the demon drink.

MJ Clarke’s 71 in Hobart was almost a cameo appearance.
Apart from smacking a bit of rubbish and a couple of cracking cut shots that sizzled through point, no one really noticed that he was even there until one bloke in the crowd turned to the bloke next to him and said ‘did you see that? Pup’s about to make a half ton”, and then the kiddie sheepishly raises his bat to the dressing room as he duly knocks up the 50.
But it does go to show that that’s no pumpkin sitting on his shoulders; he’s got a mature cricket brain for one of his tender age.
The whole purpose of the exercise was to push and nudge the ball around for singles square of the wicket on both sides in order to constantly turn over the strike to let the great MEK get on with the Serious Business of making a Big Test Match Hundred.
They did exactly what they did in Brisbane – carefully and methodically, not to mention ruthlessly, bat the opposition clean out the game, and for Pup the only self interest was pretty much just keeping the average tidy.
But he must have been disappointed with the way he got out; putting a glove on an absolute nothing ball, only to turn around in time to see the keeper take a screamer.
You have to admire Jacques stellar start to the resumption of his international career.
Just reward for all those endless days in all those endless seasons that is English County Cricket.
They are very hard yards to hoe indeed, and his colleagues don’t call him “Pro” for nothing.

Can’t let the moment pass without some comment on the disgracefully shabby hounding out of first class cricket of the great Boof.
The fools and jokers who purport to run the South Australian Cricket Association should hang their ugly heads in shame.
It’s them that should be run out town, not DS Lehmann.
Did not the SACA CEO comment that it was an “excellent time” for Boof to retire?
Talk about sinking the slipper, and then twisting the knife.
Boof will remember the name Deare.
And as for that chairman of SA selectors Nobes; if me and me mad Redbacks supporting mate had anything to do with it, he would be one of the first lined up against the wall and shot at dawn when the revolution comes.
The least of his many outrages was to install as captain a bloke who no one had ever heard of [the immensely talented Adcock] who averages about 20 in first class cricket batting at number five.
Crikey!
Boof retires with an outstanding first class average of 57.59.
Only god knows how many runs Boof scored for Yorkshire, but it must have been plenty, has he is one of the very very few non-natives to have been installed in the Yorkshire Hall of Fame.
One wonders if he will be accorded the same accolade by the utterly appalling administrators in Adelaide?
Surely now we can forgive Boof for his only major sin -- being Hookesy’s best mate.
Found his retirement media conference quite moving, with the old fella in tears for much of it.
It was all classically understated, but the oblique reference to Rod Marsh was in reality a good shot from the rocket propelled grenade launcher fired from the shoulder.
Let’s just hope it found its target.
At least the just reward for the SACA will be to preside over their team coming stone motherless last this season.
One of the most tawdry affairs witnessed in many a summer without doubt.
At least Boof can now take himself on a long fishing trip and start enjoying life again, but mark my words – he’ll be back – as the Chairman of the National Selection Panel in a couple of years time, where he can continue to be an ornament to the game.
Vale DS Lehmann.
Phew.
Glad to have that one off my chest.

not been idle on the workbench

Canine fanciers,

It’s fairly clear that MJ Clarke can’t get enough of batting at the ‘Gabba!
And what a way to kick off a season with nothing less than a classic test match hundred if ever there was one.
The whole purpose of a big test match hundred is to bat the opposition clean out of the game, and that, along with The Great MEK, is exactly what he did.
Spend all the time in the world getting your eye in at five, scratch around for a 50 while seeing to it that you see off the second new ball, and then get on with the job.
Only took a close interest in the first session on day two as I was otherwise engaged for the rest of the day [isn’t it always the way when your bloke’s batting?!!], but it was enough to reveal that the kiddie has certainly not been idle on the workbench over the off season.
Defence is much more compact than it used to – up, back, and cover all the stumps like he hasn’t done before, dramatically reducing the risk of getting out leg before, which has been his major problem in the past.
None of this swishing and wishing, or probing for rubbish outside off stump.
The footwork is as sweet as ever, with a classic example being the lofted off drive off Murali that hit that fence on the full – working left and right sets of toes like a stage dancer on point.
All the shots of course, with some Bradmanesque cover driving; the sort of collision of bat and ball that induces a collective short intake of breath in the crowd, then smiles and the ripple of applause, as they slowly realize they are in the presence of greatness.
The speed of the ball off the blade will always beat anyone forward of square on the off side as it sizzles its way to the boundary.
And no one in the modern game off cuts the ball, more often than not just backward of square, with such surety and ferocity.
Seems to have shed a few pounds too, but admitted that he was “completely buggered” after the day’s play, and after a good feed, ended up in bed, alone, and fast asleep at 8.30pm.
The laddie does like his sleep.
While 550 was obviously enough, you would have thought that Punter, with the time equation heavily in his favour, would have waited a few extra minutes - despite the worries about the light - to allow the bloke to get his 150 – don’t they still count for something a little extra in the record books these days?
And what’s this I read in the Daily Telegraph mid week of his love life being nothing short of sheer domestic bliss despite the recent slobbering incident in South Africa?
And that there’s even “off the record” talk of the pitter patter of tiny feet.
Joisus!
And I also hear a little birdie singing that MJ Clarke has been recently smeared with the holy ointments in a secret ceremony in the temple at Jolimont, on account of being the “natural successor” as the next Strayan captain.
Let’s just hope it doesn’t all go to his head.
Pup professed on the radio this morning that his sole purpose this season is to “cement my place in the side”, so surely, even at his tender age, he would be acutely aware of the distinct possibility of it all going pear shaped, or even ending up as a smouldering train wreck as it did two seasons ago, in what can be the cruelest of games.

The first triple century at the Sydney Cricket Ground since Bradman, and other stories...

Hedonists,

During Saturday afternoon’s massive day on the punt with my best mate Trev down from Newcastle [won early, won often, then backed the Cox Plate winner at 11/2 until our noses bled] the bush telegraph in the corner of the lounge room chattered into life and announced that Clarke [yep that’s right, Clarke, with an “e”] had taken three wickets late in the Queensland innings!
Intending to get along to the ground for day three, the late news came in that MJ Clarke has been “senselessly run out” for 23, with Simon Katich involved at the other end and Ryan Broad apparently throwing down the stumps from flat on his back…oh dear…Pup’s out…and we’re going to the game the next day.

Cricket and racing have one thing in common – no one can ever know what will happen from one minute to the next.
Certainly nothing presaged what would transpire on the day.
Simon Katich started the day on 70 odd, and then, with avoiding the follow-on on his mind, proceeded to spend something like 70 minutes in his 90’s, as Dom Thornley at the other end launched some heavy artillery, hitting two enormous sixes off the first two balls from the innocuous spinner Simpson [who the crowd quickly dubbed “Homer”].
For good measure he then finished off the over with a shot that sailed over the top of the sightboard at straight hit, and finished 30 rows back.
Katich finally got his 100 before lunch.
When we returned 20 minutes late from lunch at the Olympic Hotel, and were contemplating popping in to have a look at the A-league match next door at the SFS, it was clear something was going on.
Kat was really getting in amongst it and before anyone knew it he was approaching his 200.
When he got the double ton [with two sixes mind you], he had a mid-pitch conference with the Queensland skipper Jimmy Maher who appeared to all but concede the first innings points and ask ”when are you bloody well going to declare?’
Kat would have nothing of it.
The superbly well organised left hander clinically took apart the by now ragged Queensland bowling, again hitting two sixes [off another innocuous spinner, Sullivan, who was quickly dubbed by the crowd “Ed”], including a corker well back into the Ladies stand, to take what at the start of the day had been a highly unlikely first innings lead.
The crowd, which by then had swelled to about five thousand, just went completely bananas when he got the triple!
It was an almost faultless innings, his lofted drives on the on and the off in complete safety were imperious, while some lovely off cutting and driving beating point and cover all ends up, as the ball raced away to the boundary was a joy to watch.
Kat’s defence was impeccable, he never played the pull or the hook shot, but very rarely did he miss a chance to smack the rubbish, of which there was plenty on the four lane highway that the curator had rolled out.
Old hand’s described it as the best early season belter seen in Sydney in years.
Even Bing Lee got hit for a hundred in the Queensland innings, while TSC MacGill went for more than 200, and said afterwards that he “felt the ball was coming out the hand pretty well”.
Still, 300 is 300 is 300. Big numbers.
Kat offered his only chance in about his 180’s, when he put a very thick edge onto one from Mitchell Johnson [who couldn’t disquise his disappointment in the end] that flew; Queensland keeper Hartley performed a spectacular dive to the leg side, appeared to glove the ball cleanly, but then in the cloud of dust, arms, and legs that followed, managed to spill the pill, never having quite got the ball under control.
Problem was, the umpire at the bowlers end already had his finger up!
Hartley was good enough to approach the square leg umpire and say he didn’t catch it, the digit was withdrawn, and Kat was recalled to the wicket.
While all this was going on, Brad Haddin hit a gem of a ton.
Haven’t seen anyone for while who can stand and deliver off the back foot like he does – punching the ball like a boxer – the thing rolling away to the boundary more often than not.
Haddin’s also an excellent noodler; a consummate nudger of the ball for the typical well-run one-day-type single.
Hit his fair share of sixes too - a couple of square drives to the leg sailed into the empty Brewongle Stand concourse and took quite a while for the fieldsmen to find among the seats.
With the bats blazing away, Queensland got quite cranky in the field.
At one point, Haddin pushed a ball from Symonds to about deep cover, and then found himself struggling for his ground.
Symonds was backing up at the stumps, but the throw from the field collected Haddin on the neck and shoulder as it went through, to dribble to a stop at Symonds feet, as Haddin’s bat slid over the crease.
Roy, in a fit of pique, put in a genuine appeal for “obstructing the field” and by the looks of the thing, made sure the umpires knew what he was appealing for.
The square leg umpire turned him down.
The day was made even more enjoyable by about a dozen lunatic spectators obviously on a weekend bender.
They rolled in about 11 am, after what would have been an all nighter, in fancy dress.
They were fitted out in old sports blazers, teamed with Hawaiian shirts and long baggy shorts, topped with a variety “jazz hats”, ranging from the ten gallon, to the Sicilian fisherman’s cap, to things with propellers on the top of them.
One bloke even had the stick-on Elvis Presley style sideburns.
They were quite subdued in the first session, but once they got drinking again, became quite raucous, but good natured, witty barrackers.

As Trev pointed out, in normal circumstances, Kat would have played himself into the Australian middle order; open with MEK Hussey, and sorry about that Phil.
But it won’t happen.
The team was already picked before the weekend.
If Tait is fit, Johnson will be 12th man on his SCG showing, where he became visibly frustrated and began bowling some rank full tosses and rude long hops, as he completely lost his line and length in the face of the onslaught.
Suggest some of the crack Sri Lankan bats would similarly find him out.
Didn’t impress me much.

All in all one of the best day’s first class cricket witnessed in many a season, and at least The Kat, by his own admission, atoned for the cardinal sin of running out Pup!

The SCG Trust has apparently guaranteed Cricket Australia that the New Hill Stand will be ready for the test match.
On the look of construction proceedings yesterday, they have a snowflakes chance in hell.
Two huge cranes are in place, but less than half the foundations have gone in, and that’s it.
Unless most of it is being pre-fabed off site, getting to lock up stage by January would appear well nigh impossible.

The most obscure tournament ever played

Idle spectators,

What is it about MJ Clarke and India?
He returns to Bangalore where he made his test debut and tonked a ton, only to score 130 in a one-day game!
Only saw the newsreel highlights, but the kiddie was playing all the shots, pushing the field around and finding the gaps, not to mention the ten fours and the three over the top; never mind that he offered a few chances.
This after he’d spent the night before on the hurl due to a dodgy curry – he found the doctor at 1am – and told him he was “going both ends”.
On interview post game admitted that he was after no more than “time in the middle” after a “shocking twenty20 world cup”
Managed to keep the run rate at more than five an over throughout the partnership with Haddin.
Always rated Haddin as a bat after seeing plenty of him in first class cricket, and Gilly agrees he should get more gigs as a specialist bat in the one day game.
Good thing that Our Lara cashed in her ticket to India for one for the States, after seeing a photo of Pup on the slobber in South Africa.
One less distraction.
Noted also that Philip Anthony Jaques scored a couple of centuries for Australia A in the two four-day games against Pakistan A [which you’d have to doubt would have been granted first class status, even if they were] and come home from the most obscure tournament ever played, with an average of 123.33
The selectors would have taken notice on account of the tour was staged for their sole benefit.
And you can guess on that form, who will fill the vacant opener’s spot, given that the chairman and the three wise men have always been reluctant to mint a new baggy green on account of the dread fear of making a mistake, and Pro already has one.

Played all his strokes before he got to the ground

Willowists,

Noted that MJ Clarke had an outstanding tournament at the Twenty20 World Cup.
Pup’s figures speak for themselves:
6 matches, 3 innings, 8 runs, highest score of 5, and the superlative average of 2.66.
Obviously not his format, and the tour selectors appeared to have agreed, by batting him way down the order.
Heaven help the kiddie if he was ever asked to roll his arm over in the super short version of the game – he would be murdered.
Or perhaps the attached photograph with the “busty brunette” might have had something to do with it.
Poor Lara was in tears upon sighting it, according to the Daily Telegraph, so it must be true.
He could quite easily have played all his strokes before he got to the ground.
Twenty20 is no doubt the way of the future.
Knew that from my first encounter with the phenomenon maybe four seasons back now, in the week before Christmas, the NSW squad found themselves with nothing to do, so put together two XI’s for a charity Twenty20 at Hurstville Oval.
The ground was absolutely jammed packed, and dozens of kiddies with baseball mits were parked on the velodrome which runs around the oval to try and catch balls launched over the boundary and claim their prize of a framed signed photograph of the Strayan one-day XI.
Helped too that The Sandman was the ground announcer.
Also remember a very enjoyable afternoon with the children in the Bob Stand at North Sydney Oval [the perfect ground for Twenty20, tiny as it is] two seasons back, when Brad Haddin, I think it was, really got onto one, that was still going up as it left the ground’s perimeter fence, cleared a big stand of Port Jackson fig trees, and as we later learned, came to earth on the steps of a nearby church, narrowly missing clocking a newlywed couple who were being confettied at the time.
Now that’s entertainment.
Perhaps Pup will find more success on this ridiculous tour of India to get underway on the weekend.
Seven one day games -- count ‘em – seven, in seven different cities, over three weeks, with a Twenty20 game to finish off.
There was a little birdie singing a while back that the Strayan players wanted the whole thing called off as a complete joke and outrageous waste of time.
They were told that it was a naked money grubbing exercise to rip off the vast Indian television audience, and that no, it will go ahead.
The test players will miss the first Milk Cup game while in India, and will then return for just the one first class game before they go headlong into the test series against the Sri Lanka.
Now that’s a fantastic preparation for serious cricket, isn’t it?
And what chance have the selectors got?
Given that they are not being called on to tinker around the edges as usual – the chairman and the three wise men have some major league decisions to make, like the small matters of:
Who is going to open the bowling?
Who is going to open the batting?
Who is going to be the slow bowler, if indeed, we need a spinner?
Consider that Australia played its last test match ten months ago and on that occasion the team comprised:
ML Hayden, JL Langer, RT Ponting, MEK Hussey, MJ Clarke, A Symonds, AC Gilchrist, SK Warne, B Lee, SR Clark, GD McGrath.

Craven.

many years in the football wilderness

Sad Sacks,

Not interested in football anymore.
That said, having worked my through Mad Monday and the debrief with SC Roos, perhaps it’s time for the odd reflection on the season that might have been.
As I’ve been saying for weeks it was a year that was cruelled by injury, with Kennelly and the Ugliest man in Football largely unavailable, and other ageing stars playing on one leg, as it turns out, with the aid of pain killing needles, for much of the year.
Others didn’t make the “best players” list as much as they might have done.
No one really expected the Swans to go past the first week of the finals, did they?
Except perhaps for the team itself who I am reliably informed, had already played the Collingwood game in their heads and were looking towards a rematch with West Coast.
The final was atypical of the whole season…a dreadfully slow start [like having six goals to one kicked on you in the first quarter – how many times did that happen?]...a brave fight back in the second quarter while playing catch up football…a flat championship quarter…and running out of legs towards the finish as the youngsters in opposing sides showed them up for pace.
A cursory look at the Swans roster says to me that some players should just retire now, but probably won’t, as they don’t want to give up the good money and the good life, but certainly, age will catch up with many by the end of 2008 at the very least.
I fear the Swans are now destined for many years in the football wilderness when you look at ages of these blokes:
Spida Everitt 33
Brett Kirk 31
BBB Hall 30
Leo Barry 30
Magic 30
Jared Crouch 29
The Goodes Train 28
C.Bolton 27
Nic Fosdike 27
Nick Davis 27
D.Jolly 27
…and the list goes on….
Tadgh Kennelly will be happy enough to join Jim Stynes in the Pantheon of Irish Footballers Made Good and return to Dublin forever.
Fearfully, I can’t see many youngsters coming through the ranks with the exception of 20-year-old Eddie Barlow, and Teddy Richards, who played every game this season, but the bloke is already 24.
The Swans have never used their draft picks very wisely, and I don’t suppose they are about to start now.
In other words, to remain competitive with the likes of the teams that occupied the top four at the end of this season, over the next couple of years, the Swans will need to buy at least three class backs, a name full-forward, a name ruckman [perhaps two], a name midfielder/ruck rover, and a name centre half forward, all under the age of 25, at the very least!
That’s a very tall order my friends.

I think I have said all I want to say about the Balmain Tigers.

Anyway, The Winter Game wire is now officially closed for the year, you will be pleased to hear!
Thanks for the abuse, comments and suggestions throughout the season.
I’ve enjoyed the ride.
Occasional updates will appear on my website:
http://crazycraves.blogspot.com
Which of course will remain a repository for pertinent remarks on the first class cricket season, if you are interested.
Bring on the thwack of willow of leather, I say!

COLLINGWOOD: 6.5, 8.9, 13.12, 18.17 (125). Goals: Rocca 6, Cloke 3, Rusling 3, Buckley, Davis, Didak, Medhurst, Pendlebury, Swan
SYDNEY: 1.4, 7.5, 9.8, 13.9 (87). Goals: O'Loughlin 4, N.Davis 2, Malceski 2, J.Bolton, Fosdike, Hall, Kirk, Schneider
At Melbourne Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 64,645

Craven.

get in touch with this Michael Clarke

This Michael Clarke….

http://www.theage.com.au/news/Sport/Clarke-to-miss-Twenty20-practice-matches/2007/09/08/1188783552642.html

should get in touch with this Michael Clarke…

http://www.zwire.com/site/tab5.cfm?newsid=18804671&BRD=2553&PAG=461&dept_id=506096&rfi=6

might have a cure for a strained beer gut…

A right spanking

Handing out a 12 goal football lesson to a previously in-form side is not a bad way to start September!
It was really game over by quarter time, and certainly mid way through the second stanza, as the Swans cut a swathe through the Hawks defence that had turned up after having popped one too many Mogadon’s
Very satisfying to see Lewis Roberts-Thompson aka The Ugliest Man In Football back on the paddock after entire year out.
UMIF had a solid, if unspectacular game, but what more can you expect from a bloke seriously short of match practice?
Thought young Ed Barlow had an excellent match throughout.
The kiddie has a bright future in front of him for mine, and ironically, there may not be room for him in the side in the first week of the finals.
With Hall having a little rest to sort his niggles, the Swans mid-field and forwards set up had a virtually free reign from SC Roos as evinced by the number of goal kickers…count ‘em…twelve in all!!
At one stage I think the television commentators said that UMIF was the only bloods man on the field who had not kicked at least one goal this season.
In fact, at one stage during the second quarter here was the weird sight of UMIF and Malceski running through the half forward line.
The Goodes train was very good for three of the four quarters, while Magic had probably had his best game of the season, with a goal in each quarter.
The last goal of the game from Magic was a top candidate for ‘goal of the season’ as he had the ball on the customary string, evaded four or five defenders, to find himself with both feet over the goal line in the behind area while still managing to keep the ball in play, then recovering to kick a snap at 90 degrees and boot the goal from about two yards out!
Magic indeed.
Nick Davis Come To Save Us managed to get some mud on him with four choice goals, while Spida did some very useful work in the ruck, however who could believe that Along Came A Schneider fail to kick a major in a 22 goal rout like that?
Would have had his pay docked, yet again, by the Match Committee
What all this means for the cauldron that is finals is anyone’s guess.
You’d expect the Hawks, if they turned up like that again, would be pretty quickly towelled up by the Crows.
And on that form, you’d expect that Swans would give the ‘Pies a right a spanking at the home of he Grand Final, and go all the way to boot, from 7th.
But who knows?
There’s not much for Sydney to learn from that game, and September is an entirely different kettle of fish to the regular season.
As my position on the national AFL tipping ladder suggests [107,122 out of 164,688 tippers!] couldn’t tip football to save my life, so don’t come to me looking to make any predictions, more likely to put the mock on someone or another.


SYDNEY: 5.6,14.8, 18.8, 22.9 (141). Goals: Davis 4, O'Loughlin 4, O'Keefe 3, Bevan, Mathews, Crouch 2, Goodes, Richards, Ablett, Malceske 2, Barlow, McVeigh
HAWTHORN: 1.2, 3.3, 9.5, 10.9 (69). Goals: Dixon 2, Boyle, Ladson, Hodge, Brown, Roughhead, Taylor.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 27,498.

NB: As my home computer is broken for the time being this has not gone out on The Winter Game e-mail circuit as yet.

ruined it for everyone

Fellow tragics.

How could it have come to this?
Labelled the Tigers as the heart break team of the season a few weeks back and impossible to follow, and how right did that prove to be.
With an early start on Saturday, went to bed at a12-4 at half time confident that the two premiership points were in the bag
However, the fishwraps suggest Johnny Morris lost the ball in a one-on-one strip with 12 second left on the clock and the scores all tied up.
Newcastle quickly saw the opportunity to draw the penalty and ran on into a Balmain defensive line who were all offside by a country mile.
The ball sails over the Newcastle cross bar, and it’s game, set, match, season over.
The Tigers this season have become masters at contriving yet another way to lose an unloseable match
And of all the teams to get your season done it by…it had to be the hopeless, hapless drug-addled Knights, didn’t it.
A dark day indeed.
As a colleague at work succinctly exclaimed: “Bloody Balmain. They’ve gone and ruined it for everyone”.
If I were the coach I would have given each and every player individually a gigantic tusk up the runter nd tell them to get out of my sight before I killed them.
But no such histrionics from SC Sheens as indicated by this word for word quote as seen on Sky News Straya.
“We’ve come up short. It’s been our season for most of the year, we’ve been up and down. We had our chance to win it, and didn’t. Congratulations to Newcastle, and y’know, commiserations to us. Just got to work harder for next season and that’s just about it. There’s not much else we can say”. I suppose he apologised to the fans after the Debacle at Leichhardt, so there’s little point in doing so again.
A more comprehensive season review to follow after I’ve had a chance to join SC Sheens and the boys for Mad Monday to ponderwhat might have been, but at the moment I’m just too upset.
TIGERS 24. Tries: Marshall (2), Morris, Lawrence. Goals: Marshall (4)
KNIGHTS 26. Tries: Vuna (2), Paterson, Gidley. Goals: Gidley (5)
At Stadium Australia, Homebush.
Crowd: 13,446.

The Room Full of Mirrors down on Balmain Road

Fellow disappointees,

Had to park about ten minutes walk further away from the ground than usual due to the huge crowd who were already in, and just as we were getting out of the car, a red Ferrari flashed by.
Turned out to be a good omen for later in the night, but not for the afternoon!
As we were walking along the foreshore we spied a Tigers fan who was putting his chairs and esky into his boot, while his family were getting in the car.
“What’s the matter mate, couldn’t get in?”
Oh no, the bloke explained, they had been in the ground for quite a while before the sardine effect came into play, and he found it was just far too uncomfortable and his view of the playing arena had become obstructed, so he decided to pack up and leave; “rather watch the game on television in the comfort of my own lounge room, thanks mate”
Thought the bloke was mad at the time, but as it turned out, he made an excellent decision.
The very steep hill you have to climb to get up to the Mary St entrance to Leichhardt Oval has taken its toll on many a punter over the years, but spotted a Souths fan barely struggling up the incline with a very wobbly boot on.
When we got to the top we saw the same Rabbitoh’s supporter had fallen over between two parked cars, and due to his paralytic state, was unable to get up again.
A couple of security guards were yelling at him “just keep still mate! just keep still! who are you with? who are you with?”
His mates eventually twigged as to what had happened, went back over and picked him up, and with his arms draped over the shoulders of two blokes, the dead drunk was admitted to the ground.
No problem.
Oh dear.
As we were waiting to be admitted, noticed a gate attendant tearing the stubs off a whole bunch of tickets and dropping them into the box office bin.
[The turnstiles at Leichhardt are so ancient they don’t count the patrons as they go in, and the ticket stubs have to be counted by hand].
The gate attendant loudly announced to the couple as they went through the turnstiles “have a great afternoon with your 12 children”
First hand evidence of crowd figure tampering.
That said, if there weren’t 20,000 in, the joint was still jumpin’ and packed to the rafters with the standing room only crowd on the hill extending way beyond the scoreboard bar [where it usually ends] up to the very back of the hill and then up into the Moreton Bay fig trees!
There were about 50 people on top of the old blokes toilet block, before they were eventually dragged off by the cops.
Most disappointing for everyone concerned that the crowd, as it turned out, had nothing to cheer about, and most disappointing for us to find that we had crap seats.
Right in the very first row between the 20 and 10 metre lines at the southern end – this for buying tickets on the first day they became available?
Can only now assume that most of the concourse area is taken up by Members.
So we had to look through the three strands of wire that top the fence there [presumably to prevent ground invasions and players from flipping over the sideline and into the crowd?], but at least we had a good view of the state of the playing surface – accurately described by the ground curator as looking like “the rolling green hills of Ireland”.
A good opening foray from the Tigers was butchered with a silly forward pass with the line wide open, and it was all downhill from there with the Rabbitoh’s garnering a massive weight of possession that would inevitably lead to points on the board.
Hardly saw the ball at all down our end of the field in the first half.
It’s hard to score when you have next to no possession, and the forwards are failing to provide any go forward and subsequent field position, to let the backs do their magic.
Add to that a brittle defensive effort, and the Tiger’s looked like done dinners from the moment Farah went off and never returned.
As we learned later, he had suffered a bad reaction to a pain-killing needle, and lost all feeling in his leg.
So my suspicions the kiddie has been playing injured for several weeks turned out to be right.
Only high point in the game came late in the first stanza, when Benji turned on a bit of trademark brilliance with a kick and regather, and with a jink and a step, found his winger with only the full back to beat.
But at 18-6 down at half-time, things were looking very ominous indeed.
Especially as the grand stand bar had by then run out of Carlton Draught, and could only offer luke cold VB.
With all the tackling required in the first half, the Tigers had had the stuffing well and truly knocked out of them, and it was only a matter of time before the floodgates opened for Souths.
Tigers fans voted with their feet about fifteen minutes into the second half as hundreds of them began pouring off the hill and making their way for the exits, declining to take the torture anymore.
Must be very demoralising for a team to see that, knowing that your fans had given up on you.
Taniela Tuiaki had a lovely game, but he was a shining light in an otherwise awful display.
The long and the short of it was that they just didn’t turn up to play.
About ten minutes before full time a most unusual thing was observed – a full can of beer thrown onto the ground from the Latchem Robinson stand into a huddle of Souths players right in front of us after they had scored yet another try.
The cops quickly moved in and threw out the perpetrator.
Would have thought it was just a case of the frustration boiling right over rather than anything really malicious.
On interview after the game SC Sheens was moved to apologise to the fans – and so he should.
“We've taken what was going to be our own destiny today, and we've blown it. It's very disappointing, 20 minutes before fulltime, to see people leaving. On behalf of the team, I apologise for that. We were embarrassed by it”
From talk of a home final just a few weeks back, the Tigers have now got themselves into a terrible pickle.
You would have thought they could beat the next-to-last placed Newcastle next Friday night, but then they have to rely on Parramatta beating Brisbane just to squeeze into the eight.
But on that performance, they will go nowhere in September.
As the sun started to set on Leichhardt, we lingered a while, pondering what went wrong.
The old wags in the scoreboard, at least, had a sense of humour with a sense of history.
They took down all the numbers from the Souths side of the scoreboard, left the tries and goals up on the Tigers side, and then dropped the numbers 5 & 2 into the score frame, so to anyone who had not seen the game, it would have looked like the Tigers had won 52-0.
If only.

WESTS TIGERS 12 Tries: Fitzhenry, Tuiaki. Goals: Marshall (2).
SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS 37 Tries: Gordon (2), Yileen, Sutton, J.Smith, Dean, Asotasi. Goals: Williams (6). Field Goals: Williams (1).
At Leichhardt Oval.
Crowd: 20,232



What can you say about the rubbish trotted out by the Swans at The Home of the Grand Final on Saturday night?
The less said the better, for mine.
Again, a season cruelled by injury; no Kennelly, no Ball, no Ugliest Man in Football, leaving the defence in a state of considerable disarray.
Luke Brennan appeared to be entirely out of his depth, and ended up injured anyway.
It was sickening to see Magic land heavily on his back while taking a mark, and then appearing to cough up blood before being ushered off the ground by the Bamfords.
Buchanan, the fool, is looking at being rubbed out for about three weeks for mine, for a very crude late hit in the final quarter.
That brain explosion epitomized what had been going on, really.
Collingwood played a very clever Championship quarter, winning it three goals to one, and there was really never any practical chance of coming back from there.
In an irony of ironies, The Goods Train was undoubtedly best on ground in a losing team and would have collected the maximum Brownlow votes to add to the meager handful he would have gathered this season.
From my reading of the premiership table, the Swans will still make the eight, even if they go down to the Hawks next Sunday, but top four was done in [probably well before] by last week’s draw, and any hopes of another flag have evaporated in the fierce Melbourne sun.
Will probably end up playing Geelong again at Kardinia Park in the first week of the finals!
There would have been much scratching of heads and chins at the Sunday morning smoko, and you would have thought the first thing SC Roos would have done on return to Sydney would have been to book a session in at The Room Full of Mirrors down on Balmain Road.


COLLINGWOOD: 3.6, 9.8,12.10, 15.11 [101]. Goals: Rusling 4, Rocca 3, Didak, Burns, Clement, Medhurst, Thomas, Pendlebury, Swan, Bryan.
SYDNEY: 4.0, 7.4, 8.6, 11.10 [76]. Goals: Hall 4, Davis 2, Schneider, O’Keefe, Jolly, Kirk, O’Loughlin.
At Melbourne Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 63,842

an appalling state of affairs

Masochists,
What an appalling state of affairs.
You have to wonder about yr commitment.
At least I was among the last to leave Leichhardt Oval.
And the old blokes in the scoreboard had a sense of humor with a sense of history…
Commentary to follow, but in the meantime check the photo’s on the blog…at…
The fans are very dissapointed
I'm here to tell you...there is always next week.

decency and sense

Hillites,

The Tigers have apparently been under heavy pressure to switch Sunday’s game against Souths from Leichhardt Oval to the Olympic Stadium.
The pressure has come from Souths, the NRL, and even the jokers who purportedly run the Olympic Stadium, as they reckon 40,000 thousand punters would turn up if they knew they could get in.
But, thankfully, the Tigers club has had the decency and sense to say “bugger that!”
I was there the day of the Leichhardt ground record was set at 22,877 in the Premiership year 2005 – also against Souths – Tigers won 42-20.
Admittedly, it was cosy; they closed the gates about 40 minutes before kick off, and they were pulling people out of trees and off the roof of the old blokes toilet block, and the noise and atmosphere was simply incredible.
At the time, the club CEO admitted “with that many people in, not everyone had a positive experience”.
But as far as I’m concerned, why should Balmain give up their home ground advantage –they are a two-try better team at Leichhardt – just for the sake of a few miserable Rabbitoh’s fans?
Tickets went on sale a week earlier than usual, and knowing it would be a sell out, I for one did the right thing and bowled up at the Balmain Leagues club the day they went on sale and handed over my cash for a pair of reserved concourse tickets.
So why should I have to go to the Olympic Stadium when I have paid my hard earned to see my favourite team at my favourite ground?
I’d be suing the NRL for false advertising if I had to.

Dancing like Whirling Dervishes

A-list party goers,

Short reports this week by necessity, despite arguably the two most dramatic games of the season, because I missed them both!
Otherwise disposed celebrating my 50th birthday at the time.
However there were a couple of diehards down in Dad’s Shed who relayed the half time score at 16-4 against the Tigers with all bets looking lost.
Then the bush telegraph in the corner chattered out the scores as the Mighty Tiges piled on four tries in the first fifteen minutes of the second half, and it was suddenly hold all betting slips.
My attention was drawn to the radio call with just minutes left on the clock for the denouement, and I do recall a few people hanging off every word, and then the rebel yell from the assembled multitude ITS OVER THE BLACK DOT !!!
Much punching of the air with fists, the high fives, and the dancing like Whirling Dervishes.
Never did see a replay of Farah’s field goal, but by all reports the bloke was staring in the face of a Backdoor Benny Elias-style nightmare before the thing wobbled over as the pigskin brushed the cross bar.
The win keeps the Tigers in the hunt, and next week’s time honoured grudge match against South Sydney at Leichhardt Oval now assumes proportions of critical importance.
Good thing I have tickets in hand on the concourse in front of the Latchem Robinson stand, as the game will be a sell out for sure, and could even push the ground record.

CRONULLA-SUTHERLAND SHARKS 28. Tries: Covell (2), Bird, Pomeroy, Talaupapa. Goals: L Covell (4).
WESTS TIGERS 29. Tries: Fitzhenry, Hodgson, Lawrence, Marshall, Tuiaki. Goals: Marshall (4). Field Goals: Farah (1).
At Shark Park, Cronulla.
Crowd 12,964.

After the whole roast lamb arrived and the drinking got serious as a few bastards, who shall remain nameless [you know who you are!], set about my entire stock of aged red wines, the transistor radio suggested that the Swans were going ‘round against Brisbane.
Didn’t take much notice of the football until I was told that Brisbane had kicked a total of four goals up until three quarter time.
After they appeared to have pegged out the game in the championship quarter, the Swans must have been looking for trees to hang themselves from then letting in three Brisbane goals in the space of four minutes in the final stanza.
A very very poor effort for whom they have no one except themselves to blame.
And Along Came A Schneider missing a point blank snap deep into the last quarter must have had the match committee wondering how much his match payment should be docked by – this week.
Saw the Jonathon Brown miracle goal right at the death on the TV highlights the next day and it was just that – a miracle.
But Brown knew from the moment it left his boot that it would sail through the big sticks to tie up the score just as the siren sounded.
SC Roos is said to be “disappointed” by the result and he has every right to be.
The draw turned out to be a disaster, and absolutely cruelled the Swans chances of making the top four.
But, did I not say a way back in the season that the two losses by a “bloody point” would come back to haunt Sydney at the business end of the year?
If they had won those two, and picked up the draw, they would have been sitting where they should be – in outright second – instead of a precarious seventh on the ladder.
What more can I say?
For the most accurate prognostications re the finals [although they concede “there’s no way of sorting it out”, but presciently also point out “the fact that Carlton again went down after being in a winning position continues to attract the attention of those with suspicious minds” see:
http://footystats.freeservers.com/Daily/Diary.html
Alas, alac…

BRISBANE LIONS: 1.0, 4.1, 4.7, 9.9 (63). Goals: Brown 4, Johnson 2, Hadley, Brennan, Copeland.
SYDNEY SWANS: 2.4, 3.7, 6.12, 8.15 (63). Goals: Schneider 2, Davis, Hall, O'Keefe, Matthews, Fosdike, Kirk.
At Brisbane Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 33,077

Our Lara officially unemployed

It appears that Our Lara Bingle will shortly be queuing up at the Centrelink office, as her last known job runs out of puff.
According to the Daily Telgraph [so it must be right] the door will be quietly shut "on her failed small screen career" with Channel 9 at the end of the month.
Her one-year contract with the network runs out in a couple of weeks and Nine has "no intention" of offering "the controversial pin-up" a new deal.
Bingle "skated into the contract" following a bungle-free performance on Nine's Dancing on Ice last year, or so it seems.
The Tele reckons that the "notorious blonde's" only gainful means of employ will soon be as "cricketer Michael Clarke's hot handbag".
Surely the world hasn't come to this?

the unique flavour of offal in your footy pie

Denizens of the cheap seats,


Gave the solitary Saints fan on the way back home from the ground on the event bus a bit of lip.
But he refused to take the bait, a rotund melancholy looking bloke he was, the only thing he would say to me was:
“ah well, any win’s a good win, innit?”
Win ugly, win often, win well.
The bottom line was the Saints made the fatal mistake of trying to play the Swans at their own game, producing the ugliest game of the season by far.
The plan was always going to fail.
And that’s why no-one wants to play Sydney in the finals.
After the 13,000 people flooded the paying arena for the Field of Women show, they had to re-mark up the centre and goal squares and the fifty’s with new white paint before it was game on.
The angel flew over the ground early and managed to get my one and only big hooter call away mid-way through the first quarter as the ground fell almost silent, “WAKE UP SWANS!”
Turned a few hundred heads, but doubt that it was heard on the field of play from the cheap seats.
McVeigh’s late goals in the opening stanza saved us early, and it soon became apparent that less than 15 goals would be enough to win the thing.
Stole a Vili’s pie as you do, but came to regret it, as the good lady wife and the children accused me of letting go a “sew-er-age” fart at full time.
Hiding up in one corner of the pastry was surely a bit of ox kidney.
The unmistakable taste, the unique flavour of offal in your footy pie.
Fantastic.
Goes well with a Tooheys New at the self serve bar.
Pity you can’t just slip a plastic schooner of beer past the checkout in the pocket of your jacket.
Along Came A Schneider’s miracle second quarter goal right in front of us certainly got the punters going and managed to get the Swans into the five-all position at the main break.
At half time, as is my wont, found myself having a very quiet number at the service gate adjacent to Gate P in the prevailing breeze so as not to draw attention to myself, next to the tremendous cloud of tobacco smoke that is the designated smoking area out the back of Bay 146 at half time.
Suddenly, saw a surge of security guards running towards me, but before I had time to think “what have I done wrong, this time?”, casually stepped out of the way, and they rushed past me and roughly threw a couple of drunks out of the ground.
The smokers hardly blinked.
A very solid Championship Quarter for a one goal jump at three quarter time was good enough for me, and it was just about time to call ‘game over’.
It’s was a pity the Ugliest Man in Football was ruled out before the match began, along with Leaping Leo Barry, but the Swans backline was never going to be a problem with C.Bolton putting in an outstanding game, almost single handedly locking down Gehrig and Riewoldt, making sure they didn’t go completely out of control.
Forward line lacked structure with BBB Hall having an average, goalless, night, while hardly a mark was taken inside 50 in the first half [admittedly it’s not easy when its completely flooded every time the ball goes anywhere near the Swans goal].
Magic’s miracle final quarter goal to put the issue beyond doubt could not disguise the fact that the bloke is a sad shadow of his former self; not only has he lost a yard in pace, he’s lost plenty of yards, marking is no longer as safe as houses as it used to be, and he can’t rely on his ageing body to outmuscle opponents when the ball goes to ground.
Sincerely hope someone he trusts and listens to is whispering the “R” word in his ear.
For mine, Buchanan was best on ground for the second week running; in everything from start to finish.
The last three games of the season are all tricky ones, but the match against Collingwood at the home of the Grand Final is absolutely critical.
Given that, SC Roos is a very happy man with what appeared to be a forlorn hope just a matter of a few weeks ago – a top four finish – now materialising as a distinct possibility.

SYDNEY: 2.2, 5.5, 9.7, 12.10 (82). Goals: McVeigh 3, Schneider, Fosdike, Everitt, Ablett, O'Loughlin, Mathews, Davis, Schmidt, Malceske.
ST KILDA: 3.4, 5.5, 8.9, 9.11 (65). Goals: Gehrig 2, Riewoldt 2, Milne, Attard, Dal Santo, Clarke, Hayes.
At Stadium Australia, Homebush.
Crowd: 63,369.



When you’ve kicked a penalty goal with Benji on song with the boot to get yourself into extra time you know you are always going to be behind the eight ball.
It was very clever of the Roosters to see the Tigers were looking at the heavens and playing for the field goal, and then make the set play for the match winning try - easy as pie.
None of the Balmain boys played badly, or did anything particularly wrong.
Benji was in everything, and his kicks in play were classic five eighth stuff.
The kiddie desperately wants to be a classic five eighth, but it is particularly sad to see SC Sheens now forced to openly admit that he has to re-train Marshall as a winger, as there is nowhere else he can play him.
The coaching staff has had to come face-to-face with the reality that if the bloke gets another “episode” of the shoulder injury, it would almost certainly be career over at age 22.
That obviously limits the attractiveness of such a hugely talented player, and they would have to pay him less money next season to keep him under the salary cap, given that they have let Whatuira go to Huddersfield in the English Premier League, to be with a few old Balmain boys including John Skandalis, for precisely that reason.
Excellent to see The Great Hoddo play after he had made himself unavailable due to the impending birth of his second child.
But he’s obviously married to a good football wife, as Skye Hoddo duly delivered Christian Blair Hoddo in the early hours of Friday morning, to go with daughter Annaliese Hoddo.
Hoddo played in jersey number 21, and had a blinder to boot.
And oh the injuries!
Some Roosters players appeared to spend more time on the back of Medi-Cab than off it, and Robbie Farah looked gone for all money with a hip injury, but came back in the best Gallipoli style, and soldiered on.
It’s not often that you see steam coming out of SC Sheens’ ears, but that was exactly what was observed after the “pretty ordinary penalty” in the 72nd minute, when the Lawrence toddler was done for obstruction during a Roosters bomb, when he was for all intents and purposes running backwards, and never for a moment took his eye off the ball.
Go figure.
The Roosters scored and took the two point lead on next set of six tackles
SC Sheens on interview after the game gave the Bamford both barrels:
“My chat to [referee’s boss] Robert Finch was a waste of time…we lost the game, I’m not disputing that, but you don’t like stupid decisions and that was a stupid decision. It was a poor decision. You don’t mind mistakes…but a poor decision is not acceptable”.
We can now add Tony Archer to the Ship of Fools.
Beaten in extra time can cruel any team’s chances, and we shall see where it falls into the laps of the stats guru’s come Tuesday.
The Tigers are just the heartbreak team of the year, aren’t they? – impossible to follow.
4 losses to start the season, followed by the purple patch of seven consecutive wins, then this:
L-W-L-L-W-W-L-L-W-L-L.
Perhaps it is time for the first serious visit to the Room Full of Mirrors on Balmain road.
When the season is on the line, it’s always a good look if you take a good look at yourself.

WESTS TIGERS 22 Tries: Farah, Te'o, Fulton. Goals: Marshall (5)
SYDNEY ROOSTERS 26 Tries: Roberts (2), Monaghan (2), Aubusson. Goals: Roberts (3).
At Stadium Australia, Homebush.
Crowd: 25, 166

there has been a miracle!!

Hallelujah

Praise the good lord Joisus!! For there has been a miracle!!
Lewis Roberts-Thompson aka ‘the ugliest man in football’ has made a triumphant return to the Sydney Swans bench for Saturday night’s game against St Kilda at the Western Paddock:


Sydney Swans V St Kilda


Backs: Kennelly, Barry, Malceski
Half Backs: Bevan, C. Bolton, Mathews
Centres: Ablett, Kirk, Buchanan
Half Forwards: OKeefe, OLoughlin, McVeigh,
Forwards: Schneider, Hall, Davis
Followers: Jolly, J. Bolton, Goodes
Int: Everitt, Fosdike, Richards, R-Thomson
Emergencies: Brennan, Dempster, Schmidt

Ins: Barry, Roberts-Thomson
Outs: Brennan, Grundy

Be there and bear witness.
Honour the name…and Cheer Cheer.

a question that will take some pondering

Spectators,

A strong training run for the Swans on a chilly, breezy Sunday afternoon in Canberra.
Not much more to be learnt from giving the hapless Demons an eight goal football lesson, apart from the fact that they shouldn’t have let in the last couple of Melbourne goals, and boosted their percentage even further.
Thought Buchanan had a blinder; in everything from the off, and did a Goodes Train impression, in that he was capable of bobbing up all over the ground with the ball on string.
Rhino Keefe had another great game, Along Came A Schneider is finding some real late season form, Fosdike played well for the second week in a row, Malceski held the back line together as usual, and even Spida made some useful contributions in the ruck.
SC Roos relaxed the forward structure to the point where there were no less than 12 –count’ em – 12 different goals kickers, but against the defence offered up by the Demons, it was a day when virtually anyone could have a pop and be more or less guaranteed a major.
Richmond followed by Melbourne is not exactly a great yardstick for the pointy end, but next weekend’s encounter against St Kilda in the last home game of the season at the Western Paddock will be a better measure of how the Swans are travelling up to the big ones.
Tickets are in hand.
Surely there must have been some discussion at the Monday morning smoko at the magic waters at the Bronte Sea Pool about how to approach the seemingly impossible in the modern game – how to qualify for the Grand Final without having the benefit of a home final early in September?
It’s a question that will take some pondering.

MELBOURNE: 0.2, 3.4, 5.5, 9.10 (64). Goals: Holland 3, Davey 2, Jamar, Miller, Neitz, Newton
SYDNEY: 5.1, 10.5, 14.9, 17.10 (112). J.Bolton 2, Buchanan 2, Jolly 2, O'Keefe 2, Schneider 2, Ablett, N.Davis, Goodes, Grundy, Hall, Malceski, O'Loughlin
At Manuka Oval, Canberra.
Crowd: 11,266.


This is sounding more and more like a broken record – but the Might Tiges wuz robbed – yet again!
Good thing I only caught the radio call on this one, otherwise I would’ve have been trying to reach into the television to strangle the ref
Absolutely caned in the first half penalties, with the Titan’s scoring on almost every subsequent set of six and cruelling the Tigers chances by half time.
And it didn’t help that the first try of the game saw that rat traitor Scotty Prince put in a bomb, only to see it ricochet off the cross bar, back into the field of play, where it was scooped up and run into the in-goal with ease – never mind that half a dozen Titans players were offside!
Even the ever cautious SC Sheens had a go at the Bamford in a subtle way, reminding him that Balmain is the least penalised team in the entire competition.
SC Sheens also reminded anyone who would listen that of the five games the Tigers have had with Steven Clarke as the match official, they have only won one.
Tells you plenty.
Obviously, this particular Bamford, Steven Clarke, along with Paul Simpkins, and to hell with it – while we are naming names – the Chief Bamford, Robert Finch, are all fools to themselves, and a burden on the community.
Didn’t help either that the Great Hoddo was a late withdrawl due to a corked knee [what other injury can he get this year?].
And Titans coach Cartwright also freely admitted that he employed the very sneaky tactic of using the two former Tigers players in his side, that rat traitor Prince, and that notorious enforcer Warren Lanfranchi, to deliberately slow down the play-the-ball in order to nullify the effectiveness of Farah around the ruck.
Worked pretty well by all accounts.
Nothing the opposing coach can do about it, and remarkably, if done subtly, it’s not even against the rules!
Amazingly, the loss didn’t do too much damage to the Tigers on the ladder, sitting comfortable in eighth, and only one win out of the top four.
In fact, there was even some mid-week talk about a home final, and the fact that it should be played at Leichhardt Oval, as Balmain is “a two-try better team at Leichhardt”.
But you can bet your bottom dollar it won’t be.
Any home final will be at the Olympic Stadium, as there’s not near enough capacity at Leichhardt, even if they charged twice the price on the supply and demand factor, and it costs the club a fortune to gear up the ancient ground for a game day anyway.
But SC Sheens would be aghast as such talk, saying we are getting way ahead of ourselves here.
Even so, given that the last four games are all against teams below the Tigers on the current table, it should be achievable, and then as we’ve seen in the not too distant past, anything’s possible from there.

GOLD COAST TITANS 30. Tries: Cooper, Webster, Delaney, Lewis, Laffranchi. Goals: Delaney (5).
WESTS TIGERS 14. Tries: Tuiaki (2), Lawrence. Goals: Marshall (1).

At Carrara Oval, Gold Coast.

Crowd 17,257.

an ornament to the game

Hillites,

Delighted to be able to count myself among the denizens of the Leichhardt Oval hill on Monday night.
An what a game of ruby league it was, at still the best viewing ground in all of Sydney since 1907!
Just a crying shame that it’s only used for three games a year.
Refreshingly old fashioned to spend a night out with like minded people on one of the last of the great mounds in the known universe.
Also, one of the last football grounds in the world where you can actually get a hot pie and an ice cold beer [Carlton Draught in cans for a fiver; none of this mucking about with the plastic cup rubbish, and as a result no beer queues all night at The Scoreboard Bar.]
Everyone on the hill was more or less on their feet for the entire second half, a screamin’ and a yelling’, a hootin’ and a hollerin’ as the Mighty Tiges ran in seven second half tries – for a total of ten – count ‘em – ten tries!
[Don’t think I’ve ever seen the Tigers score 54 points at Leichhardt Oval, although I do distinctly remember a 52-0 score line against South Sydney many years ago now. The day a lunatic Souths fan got up on the narrow ledge around the scoreboard and began loudly haranguing the crowd below. Only fell off after he’d managed to weather the storm of being pelted with thousands of empty beer cans].
Hoddo managed to get on the scoresheet in his 200th, but remarkably the Lawrence toddler was not among the scorers, after having scored a try in every game he’s played this year.
They just weren’t using his wing that much, on account of they didn’t have to.
Everyone lost count of who was scoring anyway and where they were coming from, as the Tigers steamrolled the hapless Cowboys and just seemed to barge over the line at will.
Even the scorers couldn’t keep up, and according to one, Robbie Farah never even shaped up for a place kick all night, while some other scorers say otherwise!
What a coup for the club’s marketing department.
Hoddo’s 200th [nice touch that the club printed up thousands of Hoddo masks to distribute to the crowd, which were put to a variety of creative uses] the annual Laurie Nicholls [a bloke seven years dead and still very fondly remembered] tribute night, and a crowd only a couple of thousand short of a full house, and then 54-10!
It doesn’t get any better than that for the fans.
Good to see that SC Sheens on interview after the game [again in the fetching pink shirt and pinstripe charcoal suit jacket] insisted that there was virtually nothing to be learnt from the win:
“now let’s be realistic, the Cowboys were well underdone, they were nowhere near their best side, Thurston obviously played injured, so we’re not kidding ourselves, but while saying that, you’ve still gotta put ‘em away…they were in front of us, and we needed to win, and win well, and we did.”
Excellent to see Benji Marshall back on the paddock after his long recovery from his dodgy injured shoulder; coming back at just the right time of the season.
But I don’t know about the wisdom of playing him at half back, when you’ve got a perfectly good half back in Johnny Morris who now finds himself playing in the centres.
A few trademark jinks and offloads from Benji and we were on the scoreboard early, and it was really game over by half time.
On the Norm “Latchem” Robinson stand hung a large banner that simply read:
"JESUS WEPT
BENJI STEPPED”
Next thing they will be taking a leaf out of the Geelong book and start calling him “the Pontiff”

On his 200th game, it might be worth reflecting for a few moments on the career of The Great Hoddo
There is a helluva lot to like about Brett Hogdson.
You don’t play 200 first grade games and play for New South Wales unless you are any good.
There’s the apocryphal story of the bloke turning up to training at Western Suburbs for the first time.
“a weedy little kid who thought he could play rugby league”
The first thing he did was wander over to the incumbent first grade full back and enquire from him when he might be considering retirement.
The only problem was that the incumbent first grade full back took him seriously!
All the skills.
Victoria Cross style bravery in defence, to the extent of being foolhardy, almost to the point of lunacy; even if it does mean having your face reconstructed with titanium plates in the most recent instance
Loves nothing more than being bashed from pillar to post while running the ball out of defence after fielding a ball in the in-goal.
Just loves it.
Safe as houses under the high ball, and you could probably count the number of grubbers into the in-goal that he hasn’t rounded up on the fingers of one hand.
Not much in the way of a jink and a step but certainly does have that priceless gift possessed by all the great full backs – the ability to insert himself into the attacking line at precisely the right instant and brush off a defender, put in a searching little run [he has a fantastic turn of speed over 20 yards], and offload to one of his wingers with one man to beat, or take on his opposing number man-on-man, and score himself.
A part time goal kicker, to be sure, but one who nonetheless would have put more over the black dot than ones he’d sprayed away from the posts.
Unlike other Balmain full-backs I could name [but won’t, you know who they are]; not a hint of malice in his play; he’s never been one to play the game filthy.
I’d be very surprised if he’s even been hauled before the Judiciary of a Tuesday night.
As identified by SC Sheens, a good leader of men, and that doesn’t mean that you have to be a traffic cop.
More involves being able to pick the body language of your team mates and putting a word in there, a pat on the head here.
Also, by all reports, a great club man who does the right thing by the sponsors, and as far as I can remember, his personal life has never been mentioned in the press.
And a fine rugby league brain apparently, who works in close concert with SC Sheens on the plans for the set plays.
A legendary stylist, who doesn’t appear to have been born with any particular brilliance, but has over time, perfected his art.
All in all, an ornament to the game.

WESTS TIGERS 54 Tries: Harrison (2), Tuiaki, Morris, Hodgson, Heighington, Fitzhenry, Farah, Galea, Halatau.
Goals: Hodgson (3), Marshall (3), Farah (1).
NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS 10 Tries: Smith, Bartlett. Goals: Thurston (1).
At Leichhardt Oval.
Crowd: 17,101.

OR:

WESTS TIGERS 54 Tries: Harrison (2), Tuiaki, Morris, Hodgson, Heighington, Fitzhenry, Farah, Galea, Halatau.
Goals: Hodgson (4), Marshall (3).
NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS 10 Tries: Smith, Bartlett. Goals: Thurston (1).
At Leichhardt Oval.
Cowd: 17,101.

Talk about another case of needing to put a side away.
The Swans performance was clinical, if nothing else.
Keeping in touch with the eight and a nice percentage booster.
Nice to see BBB Hall dominant against some hapless opposition.
A classic goal when he managed to bust out of about four tackles using his strength and imposing physique, found himself just out side the goal square, turned on a five cent piece, and bang!
Snapped it through the big ones.
The Goodes train had a good one and is hopefully at last tuning up for the pointy end, but poor ol’ Magic looks more and more like a passenger every week.
Rhino Keefe had another blinder, while C.Bolton, McVeigh, and Kirk put in their usual sound performances.
Richmond just goes to show you what happens when you field a team that is too small, too slow and too weak – even for a bunch of creaking veterans.
Jeez, you wouldn’t want to be one of those Tigers fans, unless you enjoy suffering!

SYDNEY: 4.3 9.5 16.7 21.12 (138). Goals: Hall 6, Davis 4, Schneider 3, O'Keefe 2, Everitt 2, Bevan, J. Bolton, Jolly, Schmidt.
RICHMOND: 3.2 6.7 9.9 10.12 (72). Goals: Brown 3, Hughes 2, Edwards, Krakouer, Moore, Pettifer, Riewoldt
At Sydney Cricket Ground.

Crowd: 23,199.