blame the Winter Solstice

Nervous Types,

Well, what's there to say about this forgettable lack-lustre affair?
Not much really.
By now, SC Horse would have scratched it into the side of Coach's Ledger in the Football Office marked "we'll take our wins", and promptly banished it from his mind - no lessons to be learnt here.
What should've been for the Swans a leisurely Friday evening stroll, walking the dog in the park, turned out to be anything but.
Most likely the worst first half Sydney have played all year; through no want of trying, they just couldn't hold onto the ball, constantly just out of reach, going this way and that, the pill dancing elusively off the fingertips, repeatedly coughing up possession.
Couldn't get a goal to save themselves, and it was only brutal, ugly defence that kept the hapless Tigers to a single goal in the second half that delivered salvation.
They would have been slaughtered by a better team.
And then for the second week running, with things finely in the balance, and the cannister of heart pills at hand, Lance Franklin kicked the two match winning goals and took the get out of jail free card.
He's earning his keep, whatever his keep might be.
Seems like Buddy is now getting set-shot coaching from none other than Nick "Come to Save Us" Davis, who knows a thing or two about booting big ones under pressure - goes out to lunch on the stories.
Longmire was clearly unimpressed with the hand-to-hand combat in a low-scoring affair, and if his quarter time spray at the on-field huddle was anything to go by he would have been absolutely spewing at the long break, while steam would have been coming out of his ears at the final hooter.
Still, it's not at all that surprising that after sweeping all before them, Sydney now find themselves with the double purple patch clearly in view, in an on-field struggle even against lowly teams they should beat in a canter.
Blame it on the Winter Solstice.
Richmond unlucky in the denoument, for mine.
The Stats Guru was quick to point out that the "violent murderous revenge" to be inflicted on GWS this weekend will be the the first time in 79 years that South Melbourne/Sydney have won ten on the trot.
That's a very long time.
But they better watch out, with the Pygmies having just won back to back matches for the first time in their short history.
Sydney should be fully aware that after the debacle of round one - which will in the fullness of time no doubt come back to bite them on the ladder before season's end - the Pygs aint no easy beats no more.
After all those wins in a row the Swans are, on the balance of probabilities, "due for a loss", and as even the most ardent supporter knows with the diff a bit iffy, the wheels can fall off at any moment without warning.
From now on, it mostly has to do with messing with people's heads, and the "psych war" will only get more intense as the season edges closer to the pointy end.

RICHMOND: 4.2, 6.4, 7.6, 7.9 (51). Goals: Riewoldt 2, Miles 2, Edwards, Hampson, Deledio.
SYDNEY: 1.2, 4.2, 7.5, 9.8 (62). Goals: Franklin 4, K. Jack 2, Reid 2, McVeigh.
At Melbourne Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 34,633.

Pleasing to see the two Balmain boys acquit themselves well for NSW in State-of-Origin II.
An old fashioned game of football that took us way back.
As the GLW commented after the Traditional Softening Up Period [aka the first 20 mins], "these blokes aren't just playing the game, they are fully fighting".
That's it - state on state, mate on mate, date on date - in effect, a state-sanctioned bashing.
If it happened anywhere but on the field, they'd all be up on serious assault charges.
That's what the people come to see.
Laughed me head off as A.Woods went absolutely apeshit at the final siren, running around like a chook with its head cut off trying to mount anything that moved, with that utterly delightful idiot grin he has on his face going right off as NSW won a three-game series against QLD for the first time in a million years.
The eyes were spinning.
Haven't seen unbridled joy like that in a while.
The bye didn't fall the right way for Balmain - again - but hey that's life, and it's still two points in the dilly bag and you don't even have to turn up to play.

WESTS TIGERS: 2nd mid-season bye.

order an ambo

Bandwagoners,

Another one that had that air of inevitability about it, given that there was little or no hope against the South Sydney steamroller - no finesse, not much skill there - just roll over the top of them with huge, ugly units, and the relentless pressure will get them in the end.
Wouldn't want to meet any of the Burgess Bros in a dark alley at night, let alone share a cell with them at Long Bay.
No Farah, no cigar, is sounding like a broken record, and the The Try Scoring Freak just couldn't put his hands on the ball, always spilling it out of the end of the fingertips.
Thinking Adam Blair - the club's worst buy ever - played his worst game ever [and he's had his fair share of shockers].
Gave away nigh on all the Balmain penalties in the first half that led directly to points on the board for the opposition just through his own stupdity.
Late in the second half, Blair contrived to find himself entirely out of position on the wrong side of the scrum, and copped an almighty serve from the young half back, Luke Brooks.
The 19-year-old told his team mate, the grizzled veteran Blair, in no uncertain terms, that he was a "complete and utter idiot" - the words could have even been more profane than that - the kiddie didn't care about such nonsense as seniority and history.
Reputation has no place on the field of battle.
On interview after the game, Blair tried hard to hang his head in shame, and was asked where to now? to which he replied "I reckon I'll be touched up by the coach on Monday and Tuesday".
At least he's knows what's comin'.
At the finish the television commentators reminded South Sydney supporters that they have two byes in the next four rounds.
The Good Lady Wife commented "oh dear, that'll mean the crime rate will go up".
Coach Potter made no bones about it in the press scrum after full-time: "I thought the score was a reflection of how the game went. No disrespect to our team, we tried as hard as we possibly could but you can’t hand over possession like we did.”
No disrespect?
What is he saying?
We'll find out in due course.
Somehow, no idea how, the Tigers manage to cling onto 8th spot on the ladder.
With that in mind, slipped into the Front Bar at The Local on Monday morning in the hope of getting some insight, but instead found The Philosopher in his usual corner crunching on a split half cucumber that the barmaid had thoughtfully poked into his Bloody Mary, but all he could offer as he took the last bite out of his salad and had a good draft of his health juice was "well, as a Balmain boy, you'd know all about the utmost importance of remaining optimistic".

SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS 32. Tries: Johnston (2), Turner (2), Merritt. Goals: Reynolds (6).
WESTS TIGERS 10. Tries: Austin, Tedesco. Goals: Richards (1)
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 20,721.


Found myself perched on the bottom deck of the first tier of the Doug Walters Stand (it will be hundred years before people like me call it the Victor Trumper Stand), overlooking the south west corner of the ground at the Randwick End, on Saturday avo, with the Country Member, his young lad, and a shady character only known as Mad Mac.
We knew that there would be a fair mob in when we saw the event bus queue at Central snaking around into Eddy Ave.
There was a huge crowd of red and white milling around outside the gates waiting to go in, when a group of four very large blokes cut a swathe through it as if they were parting the Red Sea.
They had Port guernsey's on, draped in very heavy trench coats and tall Cossack-like black hats, and one of them wore a conspicuous leather jacket with a coat of arms elaborately embroidered on the back, that was topped with the words: SERBIAN CHETNIKS.
Thought to myself "ooh, they're not the sort of Port fans you'd want to mess with".
All class.
There are not many games on at the proper time on Saturday arvo nowadays, when back in the day all the games used to be played at the same time on Saturday, and then, along came television, so couldn't pass up the opportunity to have a look see at 1st v 3rd first hand.
The first quarter was a behind-a-thon ...count e'em...couldn't kick a goal to save themselves, then they inexplicably let Port right back into the game in the second, so, as usual, it all came down to The Champo, but then it didn't, even though Sydney kicked 5 mighty handy goals to three, the question was far from settled.
Never got the the chance to put on my Mexican death mask to scare the shit out of the nearest opposition spectator - that only gets donned when you get to the point in the game where your team has won it, beyond doubt, and the Fat Lady starts singing.
Never happened.
Blind Freddy could see the Swans were in a struggle to the death against a quality side.
Port doesn't boast much in the way of heavy artillery, but they more than equalised the Swans ruck, and they rely on being very fleet of foot and being the fittest team in the comp.
As the Swans started to flag at the start of the final stanza, and were out on their fet well before the finish, Port just carried on is if nothing had happened.
That's probably why they've won so many games this year.
With 20 or so minutes left, found myself reaching for the heart pills that someone had thoughtfully tipped into my pocket before leaving for the ground.
With 10 minutes to go, the cliff hanger unresolved and the finger nails down to the quick, someone asked if they should order an ambo for me.
Hell no!
Obviously what was needed was a drink in a crisis and the cry went up "Nurse! Brandy!" and the hip flask was duly passed around.
Never quite been among or seen or heard a crowd at the SCG go so absolutely ape shit in the denoument, as Lance Franklin kicked the two match winning goals in the last five minutes
Everyone just lost their shit and were on their feet in the standing ovation to end all standing ovations as the final siren sounded.
Got away with it by four points.
Never mind the quivering mass of nerve endings.
As we were leaving the ground, the Country Member's lad pointed out the extraordinary sight of the mass of humanity that was shuffling along Driver Avenue towards Paddington and Darlinghurst - an ocean of red & white.
Never seen anything like it since one day at the 2000 Olympics.
Little doubt the ground was less than seven thousand short of capacity, a full house for all intents and purposes, jammed in like we were in the tiny thin seats with yr knees more or less jammed up against the row in front of you, nothing luxurious about it, and cannot imagine sitting in a seat like that for a whole day at the cricket!
Laid my eyes on the fully completed new MA Noble & Bradman Stands for the first time, which the Trust has spent a squillion on, for the exclusive use of Members.
You'd be much better off in there by the looks, and why not?
The rich and entitled can afford it, it seems.
On the event bus back to Central after the game, there was some animated discussion among the folk on board on who might be Best on Ground, so a straw poll was taken that awarded the Brownlow votes, if the Bamfords had any sense, thus: 3 votes Franklin. 2 votes K.Jack, 1 vote Ebert.
Was thinking on reflection that the Swans have been relatively lucky with injuries; the Sydney Football Dept has a happy knack of keeping their roster largely out of Sick Bay with proper training and preventative treatment, so news that filtered through on the Monday morning that the Hannbery Kiddie would be rubbed out for about a month with an ankle mischief came as a blow; a big loss to a firing mid-field.
The Stats Guru had no need to point out that that's eight on the trot, and they only have to get past Richmond (a) and GWS (h) in the next couple of weeks to complete the double purple patch, and then they've got a dream draw in the run home.
Coach Horse, as he sucked on his out-sized Cuban gazing out to sea during Sunday morning smoko down by the magic waters, would have been thinking that you never look a gift horse in the mouth, while scratching what's left of the hair on his head thinking of ways to keep the team focused with their eyes on the prize.

SYDNEY: 2.8, 6.12, 11.13, 14.14 (98). Goals: Franklin 5, Goodes 3, McVeigh 2, K.Jack, Jetta, Kennedy, Hannebery.
PORT ADELAIDE: 1.2, 6.5, 9.10, 13.16 (94). Goals: Schulz 4, Monfries 3, White 2, Wingard 2, Ebert, Westhoff.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 41,317.

launch a satellite

Space Cadets,

Found myself otherwise engaged of a Saturday arvo and distracted from the football as both games were played almost simultaneously, and saw very little apart from the newsreels on the crystal bucket.
It didn't matter.
They are perfectly capable of carrying on regardless without me.
So all the news that's fit to print this week is second and third-hand.
It's not every weekend that both your teams win away, with no help from you.
Did note on the newsreels that they reckoned that Buddy might be in a touch of trouble down at the tribunal for laying on a classic hip'n'shoulder to shove some hapless Gold Coast player over the boundary line and slam him up against the advertising hoardings, flailing about all arms and legs.
Back in the day he would've impaled him on the white picket fence.
Thankfully, The Tribunal, to their credit, found that it was all legit, no harm done, and Franklin had no case to answer.
Let's face it, if you can't put on a smack-'em-down shirt-front, can't do a damaging hip'n'shoulder, if you can't crack a few heads, can't rip a blokes rib cage out in a ball-and-all tackle, and can't do the Christmas Hold during stacks-on-the-mill, then it's a girls game, isn't it?
C'mon, most of those playing are grown men who can take the punishment.
The superstars of Rules have always been those capable of throwing their weight around with gay abandon while keeping the ball on a string.
That's what the people come to see.
AIong with the nimble ones with finesse and running skills, and those who can actually slot 'em through the big sticks, isn't that what it's about?
Officialdom should keep right out of it, for mine.
They've been re-writing the rule book since the 1860's - maybe they should stop now?
The wild-eyed one-eyed Crows supporter from the Colonies warned me from the off that the Swans were taking a huge gamble on Tipsy's flakiness - never mind the brou-ha-ha surrounding the trade.
The Stats Guru - [who, being the whiz with the abacus that he is] - also takes a keen interest in money, y'know, who's up who and for what, that sort of thing - so he's calculated that this year alone Tippet has had knee tendonitis to start the season, then a broken rib, and now a knee cartilage trim that will keep him sidelined to mid-July at best - the medical bills must be piling up at the front door of the Football Dept, while Kurt hasn't been called upon to do much while still rolling about in cash dollars galore.
Yep, that's flakey.
No-one wants to get ahead of themselves too much, but if Sydney can brush aside Port like so many slugs and leeches in the forecast rain this Saturday avro at home, then a double purple patch - ten wins on the trot - is a real and present possibility, and that will dead set guarantee a set-in-stone place in the top four, and if you then don't lose at home for the rest of the season, you'll probably go top and get the saloon passage in September.
Simple.
At this point in the narrative, SC Horse's biggest worry must be the spectre of complacency.

GOLD COAST: 1.6, 3.9, 6.13, 10.14 (74). Goals: Kolodjashnij 2, Dixon, Cameron, Russell, Ablett, Matera, O’Meara, Lynch.
SYDNEY: 3.3, 8.4, 13.4, 17.7 (109). Goals: Cunningham 4, Reid 3, Kennedy 2, Franklin, Jetta, Parker, Lloyd.
At Carrara Stadium.
Crowd: 21,354.

For the first time this season, the ground attendance at Tiger's game oustripped those who turned up for the Rules.
Then again, they do tend to go ape-shit over their Rugby League in Newcastle, being the rabid one-team town that it is, and there are Balmain supporters everywhere.
With Sick Bay down on the Balmain Road being rapidly cleared out and troops being returned to the battlefield, it should have been a regulation win against a side coming off six straight losses [much to the chagrin of Novacastrians, who've also seen the team's owner rapidly going down the gurgler to worse than broke, and offloading the debt-laden club to anyone who'll have it for $1 - but that's another story].
But no, my Spy at the Ground mentioned that the Tiges were almost robbed blind when two Balmain players, who were both off their feet jumping for the pill, collided in mid-air, with Braith Anasta contriving to plant himself head first into the turf in the in-goal while his team-mate bounced off him and fell to earth with an almighty thud.
While most immediate concern was for the health of those involved, an on-side Newcastle player found himself aimlessly wandering through the aftermath, saw the ball was loose, casually gave it a touch down, and appealed for a try on spec - which after a lengthy television review - was duly awarded, even though no-one in the crowd or on the field, including the referees and touch judges, saw it with the naked eye.
Go figure.
It might have been legal, but there was no honour in it.
Seems Balmain got revenge in the denoument with a cheeky field goal by Richards, of course, to put on a three point buffer with less than ten minutes left on the clock, and then they just ground it out to the finish and that's all she wrote.
Pat Richards - Man of the Match by all accounts.
Can play; a rock in the last line of defence, has a hand in everything in broken play, and can kick.
Apparently he booted some prodigious kick out of nowhere to great advantage that was described by the commentator on the ABC radio match summary thus: "there is no doubt about Pat Richards' ablility to launch a satellite".
There is nothing but praise for the bloke around town, coming back after all those years working his arse off in the Dark Satanic Mills, to play in the big leauge again, almost a decade later at the age of 32.
If he wasn't in the Balmain Pantheon already, he is now.
Who knows where they'd be without him at the minute?
Tigers hover about in the bottom half of the top eight, as they have done for weeks now, going nowhere.
In the wider view, looks like Coach Harry will have a season-long concern with inconsistency, and he'd be worried sick that Farah and Woods will most likely be called on by NSW twice more this year.
They'll need luck.

NEWCASTLE KNIGHTS 20. Tries: Uate (3), Roberts. Goals: Roberts (3).
WESTS TIGERS 23. Tries: Tesesco, Richards, Lawrence. Goals: Richards (5). Field Goals: Richards (1).
At International Sports Centre, Newcastle.
Crowd: 22,173.

loose men everywhere

Ecstatics,

It's ironic that one of the better memoirs of the Geelong Football Club goes by the title of "Loose Men Everywhere".
Well, not on a Thursday night in Sydney in late May.
Precisely the opposite, as it turns out.
The book, of course, is now out of date, on account of it wouldn't include Geelong's biggest losing margin against the Swans - ever - even if you go back in the mists of time to the South Melbourne glory days, you won't find a bigger one.
A 17 goal football lesson in anyone's language.
The Stats Guru's head was spinning like a top as the records tumbled like nine pins in a blood bath.
Couldn't get the abacus going fast enough.
A little Bird was singing SC Horse has continued the tradition of SC Roos on how to handle bye week.
Have all the players over to the coach's place for a Saturday afternoon BBQ & a keg on the weekend when they're not playing, talk some shit, tell a few lies, relax and have a good time, and then at the end of the day the coach goes around to each player individually and says "Now, piss off. I don't want to see you for three days. Go home. Here's your ticket. Go and see your Mother".
A clever man, is Mr Ed.
They don't talk about it, let alone make a song and dance about it, it's just done.
The Tipsy-Buddy Show continues to roll on like a caravan of colourful [adopted] Sydney identites, who are reminded constantly that the wheels could fall off at any moment, without warning, if they're not careful - but do they care?
It's taken a while for the Swans big investment in tall timber to pay off, but boy when it does, they are like huge mobile Kauri trees brushing off opponents as if they were some kind of pesky insects or loose leaves.
Can play, can kick goals.
Pity that Franklin is utterly hopeless at the set shot, but there are few better exponents of the snap goal - haven't seen an inside-out banana kicked from ten yards out in quite a while.
Tipsy makes up for it with long bombs and strong punts for goal from the mark.
Everyone is talkin' about how the Swans mid-field is on fire, but the backs hardly get mentioned.
Why?
To keep a class opposition to zip at the first break. a single goal to half time, and just two six-pointers by the end of The Champo takes some doing.
Full as an Esky, Rick Shaw, and Teddy Richards and their cohorts are a bit like The Men Who Stare At Goats.
They build a brick wall across the backline and invite the other team to try to run through it, only to watch them bounce off it in a flailing heap, every time.
Up front, the goal kickers list in the scorebox was more than impressive, even Big Ted and The Train got a mention.
The offical crowd on paper looks pretty good, also.
Sydney will always turn out for grinning winners, but Thursday night could work with a 7pm start time, giving people enough time to knock off work in town, have a drink and a bite to eat before proceeding to the ground and getting home at a half-way reasonable time.
It's all about location, and with the public transport sorted, the SCG has that in spades, but the jury is still out, for mine.
Obviously, the Marketing Dept is clearly targeting the different kind of people who live in the Eastern Suburbs, who are too busy sipping lattes and guzzling Chardonnay while weaving the odd basket or two on the weekends to go to the football.
Gold Coast away and Port at home to come will sort the men from the boys and that'll be through the half way mark in the season, and then it's "easy" street for a while.
Still the Swans find themselves at 3rd on for-and-against in what is the complete log jam that is the AFL top eight at the minute.
There's more work to do, but luckily, they've been told, and they know it.
Don't spend hours on end trawling other people's football blogs, but did note on the AFL's official blog page that some Geelong supporter had posted the comment "well done AFL for gifting Kurt Tippet and Lance Franklin to a 'struggling' out-of-town team, who only won the Premiership two years ago".
Well, sucko, pal, that's just the way it is.
Mustn't gloat, but remember years ago being accosted out the back of the Olympic Stadium at half time during a Geelong game with Sydney leading by a fair margin by some wild eyed clearly insane Cats fan who botted a smoke off me.
He was entertaining enough.
My parting words to him were "well, you've come a long way to lose", left him perplexed, then slipped into the crowd and disappeared.

SYDNEY: 4.4, 8.9, 14.11, 22.16 (148). Tippett 5, Franklin 4, Goodes 3, Hannebery 2, K.Jack, Derickx, Bird, Lloyd, McGlynn, Jetta.
GEELONG: 0.3, 1.3, 2.4, 5.8 (38). Goals: Hawkins 3, Simpson, Johnson.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 37,355.

Pleasing to see the two Balmain boys have good games for a winning NSW side in one of the very best matches of rugby league seen in long while in State-of-Origin I: one for the ages, world-class.
WESTS TIGERS: Mid-season bye.

robbed blind

Fellow Agahstees,

Robbed blind.
Pure and simple.
The Bamfords had a total shocker.
It's been a while since three penalty goals have been kicked in a rugby league match; the players had the umps worked out from the off with no shortage of diving and waving the arms around complaining about the penalty count.
In the denoument, it ceased being a game and descended into farce.
Ironic that both the Bamfords went by the first name Gavin.
Really? Gavin?
With the scores all locked up at 14-14 with four minutes left on the clock, the Bamford known as Gavin "Fooking" Badger penalised Pat Richards on an imaginary trumped up charge of tackling the Bronco's playmaker without the ball, that would never stand up in a court of law.
In was right in front of the posts, so Brisbane just dropped it over the black dot to win the match.
No trubs, thanks very much, Gav.
Post match, Coach Potter was reportedly accosted by The Press hounding him about what he thought about it.
It was clear Harry was incandescent with rage, but he kept his implaccable calm exterior and said "I've got no idea. Didn't see it. And I haven't had a chance to have a chat to Pat about it just yet, and he was the bloke there".
No doubt, under interrogation by the coach, Pat would say "it wasn't me, guvna, i never done it" and he be believed, given that the video tape showed that while he did attempt to tackle the ball carrier, who was barelling headlong towards him at a rate of knots mind you, Richards was a bit late in his timing, and made slight contact about a millisecond after the ball had left the ball-carrier's hands.
But, in any case the tackle was completely ineffective and would have made absolutely no difference at all to the course of play.
Little wonder the back pages of the next morning's fishwraps screamed "TIGERS FUMING OVER MATCH WINNING PENALTY".
Whatever happened to the advantage rule? Where the refs call is "advantage! play on!".
It seems to be dying out in favour of a highly technical reading of the rule book.
The Umpire's whistle is nobody's friend, least of all the miserable spectators who've gone to the time and trouble to go have a look at it.
The irony is that Pat Richards was Man of the Match for mine; strong defence and a fine running game, with a couple of spectular breaks down the wing that created some really good looking broken play - no finer sight in world sport than running Rugby League - and the bloke can kick the ball, he's like Dead Eye Dick used to be when it comes to kicking goals, and as the radio commentator said as Pat took a goal line drop out "Oh! Richards has really put his boot into that! Look at that for a kick! He's kicked it all the way to Camden!".
The bloke is the stand out bargain buy of the year for any club.
And all he wants out of the game after 14 seasons in the caper - eight of those most recently in England playing for Wigan when they won everything - is just to retire with a tidy pension.
After his exploits in The Miracle Year '05 he's already in the Balmain pantheon, and he aint greedy, just setting himself up for a comfortable retirement.
My Spy at The Ground noted that the crowd was about double the size they'd usually get at Campbelltown Sports Ground.
He offered no reason; surely they wouldn't all have come out of the Western Suburbs Magpies woodwork just for the 15th anniversary of the first match played at the ground after the merger between Balmain and Wests to create the joint venture club?
Nobody celebrates that.
It should be a day of mourning.
They must have been giving away free hot pies.
That'd bring the crowds in.
Only to end up bitterly disappointed at full time, and left with a bad taste in the mouth due soley to incompetant judges.
Could go on about it, but won't.
At the end of the section, neither side played very well, which is reflected in the scorebox, and as usual, when there's no Robbie Farah there's no Cuban Cigar, with the Best Leb in the Game out of town on other business, i.e. duties for NSW in the opening State-of-Origin game v QLD mid-week.
Robbie would be first picked at hooker and chief wizard at the play-the-ball by any team on the planet, so if NSW can have him, they'll take him, and they don't even have to ask for Balmain's permission.
The upcoming bye didn't fall the right way, too bad.
The Stats Guru was pained to point out that in the seven games played against Brisbane in those fifteen years at Campbelltown, the Bronco's have never lost, with six wins and a draw there.
It's a spooky hoo-doo ground.
All the more reason to abandon the gawdforsaken place forever, put the wrecking ball through the joint, plough up the field and plant it to beans.
Balmain beans.
Popped my head around the door of the Front Bar at The Local on Monday morning, and The Philosopher quickly fixed me with his beady eye - spotted - so had no choice but to go in.
He didn't look his usual self.
The barmaid said "he's a bit more agitated than normal, and he can't decide what he wants to drink - not a good sign".
So, cocked my head and turned towards The Philosopher and said "what's up, Prof?"
He replied: "Joisus Christ, Craves! Petty officialdom gives me the complete and utter shits".

WESTS TIGERS 14. Tries: Brooks, Thompson. Goals: Richards (3).
BRISBANE BRONCOS 16. Tries: Oates (2). Goals: Hunt (4).
At Campbelltown Sports Ground.
Crowd: 16,511.

SYDNEY: Mid-season bye.

purple patches and chicken wings

Loyalista,

There is simply no coming back from having seven goals kicked on you in the first quarter, sorry Essendon.
The Fat Lady was already starting to warm-up the vocal chords within the first half hour after the opening bounce.
That's all she wrote, what's more to say?
The Goodes Train really only made a cameo appearance, but it doesn't matter if you carry a passenger or two, when the mid-field is playing that well, and the tall timber are doing an admirable job up front.
The Strayan of the Year is worth his weight in marketing gold, and that will do, just quietly.
It doesn't matter what you think of Buddy - the man's a freak.
There's no one with his height and strength who can throw his weight around quite like he can.
And there's no arguing with five goals and having a blinder, short and simple.
No idea what the club is paying Franklin this year [although a little birdie was singing when they hired him that most of the cash is backloaded onto the final years of his contract as an incentive and reward for longevity], but whatever the dollar amount is, it's becoming more and more apparent that it may well be worth it, and that Buddy's a keeper.
Bird continues to fly under the radar, while JP Kennedy has set some sort of record for the most number of consecutive 25+ possession games.
Hawthorn must have been completely out of their minds when they let JP go for a couple of lowly draft picks.
Fools. And plenty of Hawks supporters thought and said so at the time.
Parker continues to be the find of the season, after feeling his way into senior footy last year.
He's now very confident that he can match it week in week out at the top level; tough no-holds-barred consistency is what you aim for when you are a nuggety-type six-footer.
No doubt the highlight of the Championship Quarter was an unsual one.
A Bamford collides with Nick "Full as an Esky" Malceski - that's like being run over by a small truck without warning - and ends up on the Medicab
Umpire Pannell will cop the concussion rule and have a week off you'd expect.
Funny thing, the Stats Guru points out that the only time Malceski has ever been suspended was for "contact with an umpire", but not this time, as it was all the Bamford's fault - he was too close to the ball instead of standing way back and watching the thing, and he wasn't aware of what was going on around him - wrong place, wrong time to be weilding a whistle.
Essendon do have some class fans, don't they?
It's all very well having a quiet chuckle at an umpire's misfortune, but apparently they booed the gurney as it was coming off the ground as they reckoned it delayed the game for too long.
Then it emerged mid-week that some fool of a Bomber's supporter had been thrown out of the ground for calling The Goodes Train a "black bastard", or worse.
And that in the Marn Grook game, of all games.
They are almost as classy as Collingwood fans.
So there you go....an official mid-season Purple Patch - five in a row - and now firmly entrenched in the top four, after just sneaking into the top eight a couple if weeks ago.
SC Horse must be thinking that's a nice place to be with the bye coming up, and then a Thursday night game at home against a faltering Geelong.
Time for the first cigar of the season.

ESSENDON: 1.1, 5.3, 6.6, 9.10 (64). Goals: Ryder 2, Carlisle 2, Goddard, Zaharakis, Hocking, Daniher, Bellchambers.
SYDNEY: 7.1, 12.4, 15.4, 18.6 (114). Goals: Franklin 5, McVeigh 3, Tippett 3, Parker 2, Kennedy, Derickx, Goodes, Rampe, Bird.
At Docklands Stadium.
Crowd: 41,098.

The Mighty Tiges took the get-out-of-jail free card + the two free points, while it was on offer.
Clever football smarts.
Found myself pottering about in the kitchen whipping up something or another on Saturday night, so only caught snatches of the radio call, all the way from The Shire.
Don't know that Shark Park, in its current incarnation, has ever been graced with my presence, and can't see any call to go in there in the near, let alone mid-to-long term future.
At the end of the match the radio commentators were doing the call of the card and summing up the scorebox and naming their top three players and finished their remarks with "well, the referee's have certainly made a spectacle of themselves tonight".
Forward passes that were "a few kilometres forward", "even Blind Freddy standing at the back of the hill could see that", run-around-second-man plays that amost always involved a blatant shepherd, offsides galore, snaky business in scrums - crikey, there was allegation of biting for gawd's sake [that in the end stayed on field] - there was even a "chicken wing" tackle - all of which went unpunished while the Bamford's constantly blew the whistle calling penalties for the most marginal technical infractions.
The players could see that the umps were all at sea, rules are there to be broken if you can get away with it - both sides were as guilty as each other - and they both took full advantage of it.
After a tough hard fought even first half, Cronulla scored two dodgy tries in two minutes soon after half time, and five minutes later, Balmain scored two dodgy tries in two minutes to go two points ahead.
At that point, The Best Leb In The Game, back from injury to resume his crucial role as Master of Proceedings decided that that was enough of that nonsense, and no more points were needed.
So he made sure they never conceded a free yard in defence - just sat on the football and shut the game down in the second half of the second half - with the option of working a drop goal for a three point lead always a live option.
But in the denoument even that wasn't necessary.
Coach Harry is one of the few very good strategic thinkers in the game - rugby league is not very complicated, it's a plain and simple game - Mr Potter eschews yelling down the telephone, throwing the headphones about or any of those kinds of histrionics, in favour of leaning back in the box seeing the thing in the big picture - which is the current 80 minutes at hand - with his strange far-away eyes.
On that showing, if Balmain can start to empty Sick Bay a bit and get back to having the the luxury of picking the first-picked side week in, week out, they are definitely top eight material, but the rugby league table is a strange thing; where the wheels can fall off at any moment at the drop of a hat, if you aren't careful.

CRONULLA-SUTHERLAND SHARKS 20. Tries: Tagataese, Gallen, Gordon. Goals: Gordon (4).
WESTS TIGERS 22. Tries: Nofoaluma, Richards, Paterson, Lawrence. Goals: Richards (3).
At Shark Park.
Crowd: 15,869.

Footnote:
Did note that The Great Benji Marshall made his debut for St George on the weekend (in a 0-36 loss!).
His performance was variously described in the fish wraps as "unimpresssive", "lack lustre", and even "embarrassing".
Here's a bloke who made the mistake-of-his-life by walking out on Balmain after a stellar career over a simple contract dispute which should have been easily solved, went on to make a fool of himself in Auckland playing rugby union at which he was a self-admitted "utter failure", to return in short order to the only game he knows - rugby league - well aware that his heart will never be in it if he isn't playing for the Tigers, who don't want him back for good reason - you can do all the humble pie eating, son.
Despite the full-blown narcissism, inflated sense of entitlement, plain greed, and sheer bastardry - you have to forgive him all that and feel for the poor guy.
Look for a mid-season retirement from all codes of football; about a million dollars short of where he could and should have been.
Sad.

pricked the balloon

Triumphalists,

Definitely one for the ages.
Sydney pricked the balloon that is Hawthorn's over-inflated sense of superiority and entitlement.
They reckon after hoisting the flag last year, they are unstoppable, but Sydney and a few other teams have other ideas.
The Hawks will do anything to go there again, but it's always good to inflict pain on them from time to time just to remind then that they are not omnipresent at the centre of the football universe.
Buddy oh Buddy oh Bloody Buddy Franklin - kicking seven straight behinds before turning on the two late goals that sealed the deal, inclduing a complete speculator off the toe of the boot as he was being flung to the ground.
Nice to see Buddy's new buddy, The Hannebery Kiddie easily earn Best on Ground, after not having the best of pre-seasons what with crashing Buddy's girlfriend's car, and finding a fondness for the drink.
No doubt he would have been told good and proper to pull his head in if he wants the stellar career he's so obviously capable of.
SC Horse still has a lot of a lot of work to do around the ground, but he can't help but be happy that a few of the young blokes coming on, Parker in particular - he's a tough relentless young bastard.
In contrast, while the Goodes Train remains his brilliant best running in a straight line, even though he's lost of a couple of yards in pace, the trademark jink and weave are well on the way out with age.
No more swizzle stick action and picking the ball up off a sixpence.
The rude truth is that Adam is probably only being picked on account of who he is - The Australian of the Year - the Marketing Dept would insist upon it.
And it's really sad that Rhino Keefe can't get a first grade game anymore.
Here's a bloke who's been more or less cast on the scrap heap after 286 games for the same club and winning the Norm Smith medal but two years ago for being too old and too tired at age 33.
Look for a couple of mid-season retirements.
The Stats Guru mentioned in passing that suddenly that's four wins in a row and Sydney find themselves temporarily fourth on the ladder with other better placed teams on the bye; so only one win away from an early-to-mid season purple patch, which is just what the doctor ordered.
Pity that the Swans and Tigers games were played simultaneously, but with the ridiculous length of a game of Strayan Rules, the rugby league match was all done and dusted by the time they got half time in the AFL.
To emphasis the point, on a late start Friday night game, My Spy at The Ground - who's never very happy at the football, worries too much - had the stop watch on the start times of each quarter:
1st 7:50pm, 2nd 8:28pm, 3rd 9:17pm, 4th 9:57pm, end of game 10:38pm.
Country members who'd come down to the game from Newcastle complained bitterly that with the trains not running that efficiently, they didn't get home until well after 2am!
Utter madness.
He also noted that the crowd was down about ten thousand on what it would have been if it had been played on a Saturday night for Sunday afternoon...surely they should have learned years ago that Sydney has a distinct dislkike for Friday night games.
And gawd help us, they have a Thursday night match coming up shortly at the SCG.
The Bluds will have a mighty time trying to roll Essendon in the official Marn Grook game this weekend, again on a Friday night, to do a Patterson's Curse.
Called into the Front Bar at The Local on Monday morning, as is my want.
The Brown Bros were in high spirits after The NZ Worriers had won by a cricket score.
[Saw them just last week actually laying a small section of footpath just down the street from my gaff, and went to say hello; they greeted me warmly, as always, particularly after the compliments they got from me on their impeccable formwork - they know their caper and what they are doing in concreting that you can actually walk on without tripping up].
Found the Philosopher in his usual corner, enjoying this week's favoured tipple...a Tom Collins with a twist.
The barmaid told me that he somehow managed to convince the bar manager that limes are cheap at the minute, and he should get a couple of bags in, fit for purpose.
For the record, it's a double gin with the juice of one lime and ice in a highball topped with club soda.
He forgoes the sugar cube on the top for his health.
The Philospher seemed perplexed by the last fortnight's goings on, looked up, cocked his glasses on his snoot, and said while poking his paper with his bony hand "what's this I read about them taking away Buddy's car keys and hiring him a full time chaffuer on top of his already bloated stipend? He could always take a taxi like the rest of us, couldn't he?".

SYDNEY: 4.8, 6.12, 9.16, 15.17 (107). Tippett 4, Franklin 2, Malceski 2, Parker 2, K.Jack, Bird, McVeigh, Hannebery, Jetta.
HAWTHORN: 2.2, 6.5, 11.7, 13.10 (88). Goals: Breust 3, Roughead 3, Simpkin 2, Birchall, Puopolo, Hale, Suckling, Duryea.
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 34,506

It's plain for all to see that Balmain are very seriously understaffed.
There's no senior management left on field, and young blokes who are struggling to match it in the top grade are being asked to do all the heavy lifting, and the ask is plainly too much.
Doesn't matter what you think of Braith Anasta, but when the Best Leb in The Game went down with a dislocated elbow a fews ago, at least Braith stepped into the breech as acting captain and the marshall of kicks-in-play.
But with him gone this week with some kind of niggle, no one seemed to have any idea who the new acting Captain actually was, and the poor Balmain backs spent most of their time standing around and asking each other "well, who's going to kick the ball, then?" - a question that was never really decided.
But, it is "football" after all, and when they sink the slipper in rugby league, all sorts of opportunities open up in broken play.
You are sunk without the principal paymakers.
And the Tigers forwards couldn't get any go forward going against the mob of monsterously huge South Sea Islanders Easts have in their side.
The Balmain Football Dept decided from the off that they didn't have a snowflakes trying to match that, and they were right.
A little birdie was singing that Farah could've played - wanted to play - but Coach Potter said "nah, you can keep".
Harry had already written the game off as a dead loss before the opening whistle, so no point in bringing the marquee player back early for no useful purpose.
He'd decided that at this stage a loss wasn't going to do them a huge amount of much damage on the ladder - they'd still be in the top eight - so you might as well just try to get out of it without sending anyone else down to Sick Bay, which is already full in any case, no beds available.
Is there such a thing as a "calculated loss"?
S'pose you'd have to ask a few bookies about that - the Waterhouse family in particular - they'd know.
Don't know about the pink away strip Balmain played in; with the pink replacing the white in the Western Suburbs Magpies jersey.
Puce
Pink has never been incorporated in any footballers playing jersey, ever, even though quite a few wide lapelled lary pink shirts might have made an appearance on the back of some up The Cross back in the 60's and 70's.
So, what was that was that all about?
A good cause no doubt, but it just didn't look right, for mine.
Certainly bought them no luck, no luck at all.

SYDNEY ROOSTERS 30. Tries: Tupou (2), Jennings (2), Cordner, Pearce. Goals: Maloney (3).
WESTS TIGERS 6. Tries: Lawrence. Goals: Austin (1).
At Sydney Football Stadium.
Crowd: 16,024.