hounded out of the game

Law enforcement officers,

So, big Bad Barry “never won a Brownlow – and proud of it” Hall puts his hand up for a two week rest on account of clocking some Adelaide fool, who’d been making a nuisance of himself throughout.
No harm in that
Barry’s only crime was that he decided to put on the innocent little love tap after the three quarter time siren.
Unforgiveable.
At least the tribunal saw it for what it was -- a waste of time and effort.
Poor Ol’ Bazza now finds himself between a rock and hard place, after vowing on national television that he was going to clean up his act and couldn’t see how anyone could not benefit from him playing a valedictory year next season.
Now he’s got the Commentariat howling that he’s played his last game for Sydney, or anyone else for the matter.
Straightforward comments like “If I was Roos, I wouldn’t go on with him next year” to inflammatory statements like “well, yes, Hall, just another one of those players who failed to live up to his potential”.
The Great Man even appears to have his coach against him, with quotes like “I don’t know if Hally really wants to play football, whether his mind is on boxing, or on something else, I just don’t know. I will discuss it with him in due course”, “people can retire mid-season, y’know, just ask Mickey O”.
SC Roos could always just drop the bloke to the seconds, as he did with another character with problems -- Nick Davis Come To Save Us -- and then put him in the column marked in capital letters DELIST.
But you’d hope the super coach is better than that.
Despite his public pronouncements, SC Roos among few others, would privately suggest that a negotiated, graceful exit, stage left for the ageing lunatic would be best for all concerned.
The stats guru’s couldn’t help but gloat that BBB Hall has been rubbed out by the tribunal for something like 26 matches over the course of his illustrious career, that’s a season, a whole season they shrilled, more, far more, than any other current player in just about any Australian Football league going.
Surely it’s just another case of an eccentric character being hounded out of the game.
It’s the same in sports across the globe in this politically correct world of ours.
Soon, we will end up with a bunch of footballers who all play the same, look the same, act the same, speak the same, and think the same…like so many footballing robots.
Australian cricket has already gone down that path with autonomons now playing the game, after stark ravers like Roy “doesn’t mind a drink in a crisis” Symonds, TSC MacGill and Long Donger Matthews, just to name a few, were ruthlessly expunged from the caper.
Could go on about it, but back to the match.
How did the Swans manage to contrive surrendering a 25 point half time lead for a three goal loss at the dénouement on the back of a vociferous home crowd with hopelessly biased umpires awarding ridiculous home town free kicks?
Should have done better in making sure the flood gates didn’t open.
Was it the Adelaide hoodoo?
Being scared of winning away?
Inability to put the jackboot on the jugular?
As St Paul says “I just don’t know”.

ADELAIDE: 1.3, 3.4, 9.7, 12.13 (85). Goals: Porplyzia 4, Tippett 2, Edwards 2, van Berlo 2, Stevens, McLeod.
SYDNEY: 2.2, 6.5, 8.6, 10.9 (69). Goals: Hall 4, Mattner, Jack, Shaw, Kirk, Brabazon, Crouch.
At Football Park, Adelaide.
Crowd: 38,064


If SC Sheens hadn’t realised before, that the obvious shortcomings and overwhelming problems of the Balmain pack are probably, even just past the half way mark in the season, insurmountable, he does now.
St George are not top of the table for nothing, and when you are faced with a mob of man mountains playing in concert, as a mate remarked “like a panzer division”, ruthlessly cutting a swathe down the middle of the battle field with the infantry jinking and weaving in behind them with all guns blazing, you know you are in trouble.
There’s no coaching against that sort of heavy artillery.
Thankfully in a season cruelled by injury there is very little blame to apportion, you can only do your best with limited resources against blokes who are too big, too strong, too fast, and too fanatical.
No use having perhaps the two best try scoring wingers in the game on your team when there’s very little genuine go forward from the pack.
No doubt the Club Secretary has by now given the abacus another whirr to a different set of calculations, racked up the salary cap dollar numbers, and wondered out loud to himself, “now, which big brown bastards can we buy for next season?”
At least SC Sheens has sensibly decided to discontinue the experiment with Benji at half-back, given the bloke is a dead-set born centre or five-eighth.
So you can add a new classy half back to the list for next season for that matter, Mr. Secretary.
Paradoxically, the Tiges are just two wins out of the top eight despite being second last on the ladder, so the diehards can live in the faint hope of a late season purple patch, in the sure knowledge that if they made the semi finals by some kind of miracle, they would be slaughtered.
The radio call did make mention of “aaahhh no, just look at that, the Tigers have gone and slaughtered yet another try”.
Nuff said.

WESTS TIGERS 10. Tries: Ryan, Marshall. Goals: Marshall (1).
ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA DRAGONS 21. Tries: Morris, Creagh, Hornby, Sailor. Goals: Soward (2). Field Goals: Soward (1).
At Sydney Football Stadium.
Crowd: 15,211.

let the pogrom begin

Disappointee’s,

However begrudgingly, you’ve got to hand it to Collinwood fans.
From the middle-aged woman attired in rather attractive two-tone black and white knee high boots, teamed with a black leather mini-skirt and this year’s model Collingwood top, crowned with a particularly fine black and white jester’s hat festooned with the buttons of all the current players, to the old blokes with seriously greying hair & beards wearing equally ancient Collingwood jerseys bearing hundreds of signatures that mustn’t have been washed in 30 years, to the half dozen jovially intoxicated Collinwood supporters who had no idea how they had managed to get on the No. 4 event bus in Campsie when they were staying in a city hotel.
More than 30 Magpies supporters buses did the all day drive from Melbourne, only to turn around and go back again straight after the game, in a long all nighter.
They are a class unto themselves.
Swans only had themselves to blame.
Young Teddy Richards crystallized the game with a brain explosion when he gave away a 50 metre penalty in the championship quarter that put the Magpies in their own goal square to snatch back a narrow lead from which they never looked back.
Worse still, earlier, Marty Mattner, playing at full back, kicked out from a rushed behind and only managed to put the ball clean into the bread basket of some grateful Collingwood player well inside the fifty, who returned the favour, played on, and booted an easy goal.
You could go on and on about the woeful sub-standard Bamfording, but why would you waste your breath?
Found myself on my feet agreeing with BBB Hall when he sacked some hapless Collingwood back in a bone crunching ball-and-all-tackle and then stood over him Mohammed Ali style giving him a bit of lip along the lines of “cop that, Sonny Jim”.
But it was about the only time.
Spent the first half shouting myself hoarse screaming “kick long, for gawd’s sake, kick it long!”
The short kicking game and a million hand-balls was always going to come unstuck on a heavy track [it had been raining heavily all day in Sydney, but remarkably, not a single drop fell during the game] against quality opposition.
It was the kind of conditions that Collingwood exploited perfectly with a “kick and hope” policy from the outset.
Didak was probably best on ground, which only goes to show that being run over by a Melbourne tram is no impediment to playing good football.
The stats guru’s couldn’t help but note that the Swans had a club record 418 disposals in the game!!
That’s right, four hundred and eighteen, the vast bulk of which were completely ineffectual.
Cap’n’ “never had a bad game” Kirk and Rhino Keefe had more than 40 each.
Never at any stage did SC Roos revert to Plan B, or if he did, it was obvious the players were taking no notice of him.
[Aside: Interesting that last week St Paul did concede in the press that from time to time, while in his cups, he has contemplated giving the game away himself at the end of the year, as the awful realization sinks in that he is now Sydney’s longest serving coach, given that he has always considered himself as just a “temporary” mentor].
Kirk, along with most seasoned observers, was absolutely furious come the final siren, and personally questioned several players’ commitment on the ground, something he later confirmed to the fishwraps
The crowd figure only goes to confirm that Sydneysiders are the most fickle football fans in the whole wide world, who will have no hesitation at all in deserting a losing team in droves.
In my estimation, at least a third of the audience were Collingwood supporters.
Just compare that mob with the Homebush record for a Swans Magpies fixture set in 2003, when 72,393 decided to go to the football.
You can easily see how a handful of journos, some match officials, a few ground staff, and The Man and His Dog would be just about the only people who’d bother to turn out for a Western Sydney game.
And who could blame them?
The atmosphere on the No. 4 event bus home, full as it was of red and white, was akin to something you might sniff in a dead dingo‘s donger.
Then, lo and behold, Michael O'Loughlin, clearly anticipating and then cleverly forestalling the inevitable tap on the shoulder, marches into SC Roos’ office on Tuesday morning and announces his retirement from the caper at the end of the season, acknowledging that it’s very tough when people in the game who you admire and respect are telling you that you have lost a yard or two.
While a glowing obituary for The Great Magic is for another time, suffice to say here the bloke has been an absolute ornament to the game.
500 goals and most likely 300 games in The Red and The White, well, for what more could anyone ask?
That should be enough to garner the great man life membership to just about anything that’s going, although the small matter of skin colour would probably preclude it from being offered by the Australian Club in Macquarie Street.
Shame.
Mickey O earned “The Great” honorific a long time ago, perches very high up in the Swans pantheon, and has been nothing less than a scholar and a gentleman for the past 15 seasons.
At least, in the final paralysis, he had the decency and sense to call it quits while he was still ahead, get out on his own terms, and put it all down to his mum.
He’ll be further admired for that as he goes around for the lap of honour.
Vale you good thing you.
If other ageing players who shall remain nameless fail to take his lead after what is highly likely to be another inevitable away loss to Adelaide this weekend, then let the pogrom begin.

SYDNEY: 2.2, 5.3, 9.6, 9.12 (66). Goals: Jack 2, O'Keefe 2, Hall 2, Goodes, Moore, Barlow.
COLLINGWOOD: 4.2, 7.7, 9.9, 13.11 (89). Goals: Davis 3, O'Bree 2, Didak 2, Dick, Brown, Anthony, O'Brien, Fraser, Swan.

At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 41,042.



Speaking of fickle football fans, the Tigers match in Melbourne pretty much passed me by, as there were simply better things to do in the Emerald City of a Sunday afternoon.
The Good Lady Wife has even gone so far as to say that she might have lost interest in rugby league.
By the look of the scoreline, they gave it a pretty good shot, but SC Sheens reportedly suggested after the game that the Tiges had been “frightened of the ball” in the second half and were unable to push home what could have been a match winning momentum.
Haven’t received any eye witness accounts of the match at al+l, not surprising really, given that no one was in the ground, so not in a position to make any informed comment.
While Melbournians are well known for turning out in numbers to watch two flies crawl up a wall -- and despite having a former premiership winning team in their midst -- it appears rugby league would struggle to better lacrosse in terms of spectator interest in the Athens of the South.
SC Sheens will, as is his usual custom, eventually get around to marking that one down on the “we’ll learn from our losses” side of the coaches ledger, but the Club Secretary would no doubt by now be dusting off the abacus in the back of the sporting equipment room, seeing that Balmain is just to about to fall into the mathematical realm of making the top eight


MELBOURNE STORM 14. Tries: Cronk, Cross. Goals: Tomane (3).
WESTS TIGERS 12. Tries: Ayshford, Moltzen. Goals: Marshall (2).

At Olympic Park, Melbourne.
Crowd: 10,417

the human wrecking ball

Eternal optimists,

As word filtered through from the House of Pain that the Moltzen kiddie had been ruled out after doing himself a mischief on the warm up track for gawd’s sake, with SC Sheens forced to conjure up another full-back out of thin air, and the try scoring freak Lawrence also a late withdrawal, as well as the Tigers contending with a five year old hoodoo having failed to beat the Eels in their last eight encounters, you could have been forgiven for thinking it was time to ask the last person leaving the league’s club to switch off the light.
The ensuing 80 minutes just went to show that when the Balmain forward pack is going forward and the club’s two ponies are on song, with Benji and the Best Leb in The Game both vying for man of the match honours, the Tiges are still capable of beating any given side on any given day.
Tuiakai, who was described mid week as “the human wrecking ball”, also had a blinder, which never hurts – except for the blokes he runs into or puts a coathanger tackle on.
That said, with more players drawing payments from the Injured Players’ Benevolent Fund than are actually appearing on the training paddock week in week out, and Farah clutching at his ribs after booting a well timed tactical second half field goal with an experimental football that appeared to have been filled with helium to put the Eels two scores behind, and a cursory glace at the premiership table revealing that just six points separates fifth from 12th; hope must spring eternal.
Certainly that’s the case among the traveling die-hards, with seasoned observers at the ground noting that on a Monday night where it didn’t matter if the beers were served warm as they’d soon get cold enough in the Antarctic conditions, more Tigers fans braved the elements than did Parramatta supporters.

PARRAMATTA EELS 6. Tries: Burt. Goals: Burt (1).
WESTS TIGERS 23. Tries: Halatau, Mataka, Farah, Tuiaki. Goals: Marshall (3). Field Goals: Farah (1).
At Parramatta Stadium.
Crowd: 12,003.

Not much word has leaked of what was said and done at the traditional mid-season BBQ round at SC Roos place, although it seems there was plenty of room for some soul searching over a Fosters and a well charred hamburger patty.
However, a little birdie has been singing that senior administrators and various Pooh-Bah’s associated with the club did discuss and decide under a shade tree in a quiet corner beside the lap pool, that failure to beat Collingwood at the Western Paddock this Saturday night, and a similar result in the following away game against Adelaide, would undoubtedly mean ‘season over’, and automatically spark a wholesale review of the playing roster and the tap tap tap on various old and burnt out shoulders.
SC Roos would also be asked to clarify his future intentions.
Also interesting to note that the Swans’ two draft picks didn’t make it to the BBQ, after it was revealed they aren’t even in Sydney, let alone training.
Both are in Melbourne, nursing niggles, and studying for their end of school exams.
Did note also that at least a couple of players who could be in for a gold watch decided to eschew the social event altogether, and take themselves off to the south coast to “find some space”.
Perhaps they might have been better served with a visit to the Room Full of Mirrors down on the Balmain Road?

SYDNEY: Mid season bye.

as mad as a hatter

Anarchists,

The AFL Umpires’ Association has a lot to answer for, for mine.
After being deliberately hounded, frustrated, badgered, targeted, harried, mistreated, tormented, bullied, affronted, appalled, teased, disgusted and disgruntled by Bamfords for his entire football career from day one, is there any wonder that Barry Hall is as mad as a hatter and unusually prone to “brain explosions” and “mind snaps”?
Who can blame him?
Not the first or last man to be driven absolutely insane by cheating, dirty rotten umpires.
Anyone can see the cogs going around in Barry’s brain.
So, when the gearbox un-meshes in a spectacular fashion it’s never unexpected, and its there for all to see.
BBB Hall’s first infringement wasn’t really even worth a free on every eye witness account, let alone a fifty metre penalty, let alone three 50’s!
[See photographs above for clear evidence].
You’d have to seriously ask: Were the Bamford’s in their right mind?
What mysterious secret rule book have they been reading, and where did they get it from?
And then Bazza’s coach goes and disgracefully holds The Great Man responsible for single-handedly losing the match!!
A critical away game at that at the G, when it was of no fault of his own, and the Bamfords apparently get off utterly scott free in the mind of SC Roos!
Go figure?
Not hard to see why the poor bloke is completely bonkers.
If Hall is ever committed to Callum Park, it’ll be a bloody goal umpire in a white lab coat and fedora who signs the papers to certify the creature of pity to the asylum.
Thinking that Big Bad was dropped from the “leadership group” some time ago; but when all is said and done, it’s down to the “leadership group” to accept responsibility for failing to win any away game at all up to the split round, isn’t it?
The buck stops with SC Roos and the various “captains”, surely?
Instead, they appear to be in denial, while trying to pin the tail on the very convenient scapegoat.
Disappointing.
You’d have to query if they have started to run out of ideas.
Sure, some new kiddies might struggle from time to time in the big league but you can’t blame a bloke like “Rick” Shaw, who had an outstanding game in the backs in a losing side.
Characters like him are the face of the future.
And while The Goodes Train has been on fire for a month, and Mickey O isn’t playing badly after he got started – comebacks by those two after last season -- there are more than a few other ageing passengers with tired legs that have lost a yard or three who are now being exposed as the old men they are.
A couple of injuries and its season kaput, if it isn’t already.
Don’t know that the atmosphere around at the traditional mid-season BBQ this weekend at Roosy’s place will be particularly festive.
Beer Cans and Burnt Rissoles at 30 paces.
Tickets to the cheap seats are in hand for next game against the “Pride of the Nation” aka The Evil Pies aka “good ol’ Collingwood!”, who will no doubt set out to remind the Swans just how good Sydney/South used to be.


HAWTHORN 4.5, 7.5, 9.11, 12.14 (86). Goals: Franklin 3, Williams 3, Roughead 3, Ellis 2, Mitchell.
SYDNEY 2.5, 4.7, 8.7, 11.9 (75). Goals: Goodes 3, Hall 2, Jolly, McVeigh, O'Loughlin, J.Bolton, Mattner, Kirk.
At Melbourne Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 44, 464.


Glad the decision not to attend Balmain’s spiritual home on Friday night was made early.
Looks like some weak poofiness has come over me in my old age, but it was too cold by half and there was the threat of rain.
Lets face it, its been 20 years since 1989, when every home game was attended bar none, and every home game was at Leichhardt.
Once again it was a case of the forwards being out-muscled and failing to go forward, unable to create any useful field position, except on the back of home crowd penalties, to put the backs into any sort of position to do much genuine threatening of the try line.
Rugby League is a fairly simple game.
The wingers might as well have sat under a shade tree.
Farah had a hangover from State-of-Origin One, and Benji didn’t have any room to move with his kicking game.
When your two ponies aren’t in harness, its pretty much goodnight nurse from the off.
Didn’t help that Garef “That Pom” Ellis, perhaps the most consistently good player of any this season, front or back, declared himself unavailable with an accidental injury to his Social Finger.
With five consecutive losses, one can only pin one’s hopes on the unlikely event of SC Sheens somehow pulling off the miracle worker stunt and inspiring a late season purple patch to get anywhere near playing beyond the home and away matches.
As it is, he wouldn’t be looking to the Club Secretary-Manager for any kind of bonus.
But, as the supreme optimist will always say, it’s only just June.
Still, gets you to thinking that it’s been something of a test of faith following The Tiges since ’05.
Said then, say now; could be another long time between drinks.

WESTS TIGERS 10. Tries: Farah, Tuiaki. Goals: Marshall (1).
PENRITH PANTHERS 26. Tries: Walsh (2), Aiton, Daniela, Tighe. Goals: Walsh (2), Cooper (1).
At Leichhardt Oval.
Crowd: 14,100.

clutching at straws

Diehards,

Found myself arrayed along The Front Bar at The Local on Sunday afternoon as the barkeep flicked on the Tigers v Warriors game onto the regular sized TV.
The usual suspects were there, although given the nature of the fixture, there were more massive Maori man mountains in than usual, who, as always, were very genial throughout, and even stooped to cast pity upon the Tigers fans with consolatory pats on the back at the finish.
We were in no position to argue.
The general consensus of opinion was that the Balmain boys were simply outplayed at conventional wet weather football, and relied entirely on Benji’s kicking game, which is only sensible in the conditions, but with the forwards not going forward and a few raw rookies in the backs, and Benji not being particularly on song with the boot; Tigers never really
even threatened the try line, try as they might, and defence needs more work.
“That Pom” Ellis had one of his best games in a badly losing side in quite a while and blow me down with a feather if The Great Skando didn’t make a couple of fleeting appearances and effect a few good tackles.
Sadly missed the Best Leb in The Game, quarantined as he was, with no parole, in camp for NSW.
SC Sheens’ decision to insist that all players wear face masks on the flight to Auckland, except when drinking, was widely seen across the board as being of no use at all.
The Philosopher was in, perched in his usual corner of the bar nursing his scotch, who uttered barely a word about football during the game.
But at full time he exclaimed ”isn’t next weekend the half way point in the season?”
He made sure he had some nodding heads, before saying pointedly “well, that means, the Tiges season has almost reached the S-bend”.
Time to go home.

NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS 14. Tries: Locke (2), McKinnon. Goals: Locke (1).
WESTS TIGERS 0.
At Mt Smart Stadium, Auckland.
Crowd: 13,365.


Painfully puzzling to watch your team on the crystal bucket.
As a mate said mid week…
”Sydney are the hardest team to follow in the AFL right now”.
How can they go from annihilating a fairly well credentialed team one week and then get similarly annihilated, if not worse, by another reasonably well credentialed team the next?!
During half time the bush telegraph in the corner of the lounge room chattered into life with a message from some far flung outpost of empire enquiring as to whether it was true that the Swans had had 13 goals kicked on them without reply.
What’s the morse code for “13.stop.yes” again?
Coach’s nightmare – SC Roos for years to come will wake in fright in the middle of the night dreaming about the Manuka Chainsaw Massacre.
While it’s entirely inexplicable, at least Saint Paul could put one finger on it on interview after the debacle, “if you are going to play like that, against a team like that, then you can expect to be smashed”.
He was later quoted in the Sunday fishwraps headlines as saying “our worst 40 minutes in six years”.
Where he plucked the six years from nobody quite knows, but probably simply thinking that he was clutching at straws in a bid to illustrate just how poorly they played.
The only saving grace to come out of the fiasco was BBB Hall’s 600th.
Given that 300 gamers are automatically given AFL Life Membership, shouldn’t it also apply to 600 goalers as well?
3,600 points through the big sticks – only a few do that in any league.
Ask Hall, and he’ll be happy to tell you, just like any other full forward, let’s think; Plugger, Bobby Pratt, Barry Round, Brian “The Whale” Roberts, Murray Weiderman, Warwick Capper, -- “don’t tell me that anyone ever won a game of footy from the back pocket”
Certainly, Barry Hall was admitted to the Punter’s Pantheon a while ago now, and has only easily confirmed the rarely awarded appellation for active players of “The Great” B.Hall.
Number One.
But coming to think of it, the current members of the life member’s club probably wouldn’t have him, and you’d have to think that Bazza would be waiting for a very very long time before being admitted to the official Hall of Fame on account of his propensity to go around clocking blokes, being the victim, as he is and was, of spontaneous “brain explosions” and “mind snaps”, and becoming a grand master at the well directed abuse of Bamfords, would probably count him out forever.
You would have thought that there would have been plenty of head scratching and beard tugging during the Swans’ Sunday morning smoko by the magic waters at Maroubra.
The “leadership team” might have been minded during full immersion to consider the entirely mysterious reasons for Sydney’s appalling away record over recent years.
What are they?
Hall could have pulled up sore and puffed on his favourite blend in his Chesterfield Pipe and told SC Roos poolside, “Well coach, I kicked six and we still lost by plenty.”
And been content to leave it at that.

WESTERN BULLDOGS 5.2, 13.6, 16.7, 18.9 (117). Goals: Welsh 4, Ward 3, Hahn 3, Giansiracusa 3, Cooney 2, Boyd, Higgins, Harbrow.
SYDNEY SWANS 2.2, 2.3, 7.4, 12.5 (77). Goals: Hall 6, Goodes 2, Ablett, Malceski, Jack.
At Manuka Oval, Canberra.
Crowd: 12,464.


NB: 1st time a rugby league crowd has exceeded a rules crowd viz a viz these two teams this year.
Just look at the venues!
Freakin’ Cold v Really Cold & Wet.

warned off for life

Bleacherists,

Found myself on Sunday morning in East Sydney at some lard-arsed, gnocchi-gobbling, café-latte swilling “Italian festival” run by Clover Moore’s mob, with The Good Lady Wife, and realised we were only a hop, skip, and a jump to The Cricket Ground for the early start to a Swans home game.
Having been in Indo-China for a while, where sport extends only to an endless number of pay TV channels dedicated to 24 hour coverage of European soccer and Thai kick boxing, not to mention the cock fighting channel, the idea of a real game of football appealed.
Got ourselves some semi-cheap seats in Bay 2 on the walk-up, just around from the Paddington end goal posts, but at least they were “cool” seats, in the shade all day, in stark contrast to the cheap “hot” seats at the University of NSW end, on a picture postcard perfect late autumn day in Sydney without a cloud in the sky after a week of rain.
The surface of the ground had a distinct cow paddock appearance about it, without the turds.
It was great fun to see the Swans eat Port alive in the first quarter eight goals to one, just because they could, as they knew their way around the joint and left the Port backline flailing in their wake
Eight individual goal kickers suggests that SC Roos may have found an interesting other way to work the business forward of the centre line, but when all is said and done, BBB Hall had his fingerprints all over at least half of them as he threw his weight around like only he can.
The few forays Port made to our end didn’t have a snowflakes of finding their way through the Swans defence.
It wasn’t until time on that that the hapless Power posted their first score, a goal, and so retained their unique record of being the only team in the time-honoured history of the comp never to have played a scoreless first quarter.
But it was game over.
No coming back from there in the modern game.
At half time I overheard a bloke instruct his six to seven year old boy who had enquired as to the state of the game “son! if Port win this one, it’ll be the biggest comeback ever seen, ever, don’t worry about it, it’s in the bag, son. I can guarantee you we will be signing the song at the end of the game”.
The Goodes Train and Magic both had the best games I’ve seen them play in a veritable yonks; in the second quarter, within minutes of each other, they both took miracle marks on the forward flanks that had the crowd gasping in amazement.
“how did he do that?!?”
Especially The Train, who right in front of us, was flat on his back after falling heavily out of a ruck and appeared to have his head tangled up in other players feet, when the ball just landed on his chest after a kick from outside fifty.
He grabbed it, got up, dusted himself off, and kicked a goal.
But even that was surpassed as a candidate for mark of the year, as Reg Grundy climbed all over the backs of his own players out on the wing underneath the Brewongle Stand to take an absolute screamer.
SC Roos was even moved so far as to say “it was among the best marks I’ve seen” in his 15 years in the caper.
He can be excused.
For older observers of the game, hazy psychedelic flash backs tend to occur when you see the No.39 fly again, but at least young Reg doesn’t appear to have a fruit shop stuffed down the front of his shorts.
Goodes, if fact, was probably best on ground for mine, followed closely by Ca’p’n “never played a bad game” Kirk, Odd Head McVeigh was outstanding, Bolton, J. put in the hard yards all over the park, Jolly as solid as the Grampians in the ruck, Mr Hall To You Mate just annoyed the hell out of any Port player who came anywhere near him, while Rick Shaw [as the GLW calls him] and young Teddy Richards both had corkers.
Name anyone you like, the side was carrying very few passengers.
In the new smoking lounge out the back of the Bradman Stand at quarter time, I offered the lone Port supporter a cigarette and said, “Jeez, it must be tough being a Port fan, mate?” to which he replied, “it could be worse, although I don’t know just how”.
Speaking of smoking lounges, the new arrangement actually puts the smokers outside the ground near Gate E surrounded only by an ineffectually secured waist high plastic barrier.
It would be a simple matter to blend in with the puffers and chuggers before the start of a game, casually slip over the barrier unnoticed, and watch the match for free from the excellent view afforded from the standing room area in front of the Dally Messenger Bar.
Just a thought.


SYDNEY 8.1 11.6 13.13 18.15 (123). Goals: Goodes 2, Hall 2, Kirk 2, Jolly 2, McVeigh 2, White 2, Buchanan, J.Bolton, Moore, Mattner, O'Loughlin, O'Keefe.
PORT ADELAIDE 1.0 3.3 6.6 10.8 (68). Goals: Ebert 2, Hartlett 2, Tredrea 2, Cassisi, Motlop, Burgoyne, Logan.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 23,229.



Excuse me, but if ever a team was robbed blind by the Bamfords it was the Tiger’s on Friday night.
The fishwraps the next day were screaming on the back page:
“Sheens spewing over Benji binning!”Must say my jaw did drop watching the delayed telecast when B.Marshall was given his marching orders following five consecutive penalties against the Tiges.
OK, OK, sure, so the Tiges were going the squirrel grip, putting in shepherds all over the shop and getting in the way of legitimate attackers, sitting on blokes heads after completing the tackle, deliberately attempting to slow down the play-the-ball, and generally going the niggle, but for the ref to send the Acting Captain off for ten minutes at a crucial moment in the second half to make an example of the whole team for “repeated professional fouls” was well beyond the pale, for mine.
Seen worse in kindergarten playgrounds.
Especially in weather conditions described by the hardy few who turned up as “appalling”
SC Sheens made it plain that he only attended the post match press conference under coercion, “I’d be fined by the NRL if I didn’t turn up”, and wasn’t much interested in what the press had to ask of him.
But they went ahead anyway and in reply to a question about that aspect of the refereeing performance, SC Sheens simply left it at “well, the crowd booed, and so did I”.
Little wonder then at full time that some lunatic patron leaps the fence and puts in a well executed leg tackle on the Bamford in question, who was then duly ground into the mud by the angry, frustrated punter, before the idiot was jumped on by security and then led away by the cops.
You couldn’t help but feel some degree of sympathy for the fool -- in fact there is a school of thought that says he should have been given a medal -- until the errant ref attacker sold his story to the front page of one of the Sunday fishwraps, describing how “a moment of alcohol-fuelled madness” had led to a “brain snap” that had “ruined my life”.
C’mon, puleeease!
So you’ve been warned off approaching within one kilometre of any rugby league football ground in the world for life, have you mate?
Time to switch codes, or invest in a good radio, son, because they might not have you down the pub anymore, and you probably can’t afford pay TV.
The absence of Robbie Farah [at least the NSW selectors had their thinking hats on when they picked him at hooker for State-of-Origin One] in the front row due to a head knock in the silly loss to the Rabbitoh’s the week before tends to indicate the Tigers are now, more or less, a two-trick pony.
However…the most extraordinary sight of the night was the appearance of the Great John Skandalis on the football field after a 992 day absence from the National Rugby League.
Crikey!
The Great Skando retirement commemorative t-shirt is in my wardrobe, for chrissake, and is regularly worn.
And blow me down if he didn’t have a pretty good second half when called upon.
Come to think of it, when TGS was taken on as a forwards coach by SC Sheens at the start of the season he made sure that he was registered as an eligible player, and did threaten him to pull on the jockstrap and the jersey and smear on the ol’ man’s liniment and take to the field, if and when Balmain “ran out of forwards”.
It now seems we have reached that point.


WESTS TIGERS 18. Tries: Tagive, Tuiaki, Marshall, Ayshford. Goals: Marshall (1).
BRISBANE BRONCOS 20. Tries: Winterstein, Hunt, Te’o, Lockyer. Goals: Parker (2).
At Campbelltown Sports Ground.
Crowd: 9,675.

for the sake of completeness

Having been away in Indo-China for the best part of three weeks, these scoreboxes are listed here for the sake of completeness:

An unconvincing win here, but all reports.

SYDNEY 5.6 9.7 1.9 14.10 (94). Goals: O’Loughlin 2, Jack 2, Moore 2, Meredith 2, Hall 2, Shaw, McVeigh, Thornton, Grundy.
RICHMOND 2.1 5.4 9.6 11.9 (75). Goals: Tambling 2, Collins 2, Graham 2, Richardson, Oakley-Nicholls, Nahas, Coughlan, Riewoldt.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 25,410.

Yet another case of the one that got away:

CANTERBURY BULLDOGS 22. Tries: El Masri (2), Ennis, Goodwin. Goals: El Masri (3)
WESTS TIGERS 20. Tries: Moltzen, Ryan (2), Payten. Goals: Gallant (2)
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd 25,622

Predictable loss:

GEELONG 1.5 8.7 12.10 17.14 (116). Goals :Johnson 4, Stokes 3, Mooney 3, Hawkins 3, Bartel, Rooke, Byrnes, Kelly.
SYDNEY 1.2 4.3 7.4 10.5 (65). Goals: O'Loughlin 3, Goodes 2, Grundy 2, Moore, J. Bolton, Meredith.
At Kardinia Park.
Crowd: 22,050.

Easy two points:

WESTS TIGERS: Bye.

An absolute corker of a match according to those who were there. Heart pills were required in the final quarter.

SYDNEY 5.2 7.4 14.7 16.10 (106). Goals: Hall 5, Goodes 3, J. Bolton 2, Mattner, Ablett, Moore, Jolly, O’Loughlin, Jack.
WEST COAST 4.2 6.6 11.6 15.11 (101). Goals: McKinley 4, Kennedy 3, Lynch 2, Cox 2, McNamara, Cockie, Jones, S. Selwood
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd 33,079

Rabbitohs kicked a field goal in the dying minute to deny Tigers a deserved victory:

WESTS TIGERS 22 Tries: Tuiaki (2), Farah, Moltzen. Goals: Marshall (3).
SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS 23 Tries: Talanoa (2), Champion, Fa'alogo. Goals: Sandow (1),Luke (2), Field Goals: Merritt (1).
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd 29,970.