Where the hell is Kerry Hemsley?

Pundits,

What’s this I see?

Team of the Century
Full-back: Clive Churchill
Wingers: Ken Irvine, Brian Bevan
Centres: Reg Gasnier, Mal Meninga
Five-eighth: Wally Lewis
Half-back: Andrew Johns
Lock: John Raper
Second row: Ron Coote, Norm Provan
Front row: Duncan Hall, Arthur Beetson
Hooker: Noel Kelly
Reserves: Dally Messenger, Bob Fulton, Graeme Langlands, Frank Burge
Coach: Jack Gibson

Not a single Balmain player among them, bar one of course; the great Arty Beetson did turn out for the Tigers in 74 games, but then went onto make his name at Easts.
Where’s the great Keefy Barnes?
Where’s Junior, Blocker, Sirro, Garry Jack, Backdoor Benny, Scotty “Go The Coon” Gale?
Where the hell is Kerry Hemsley, for gawds sake?
Team of the century… I’ll be buggered….

all over bar the shouting

Pugilists,

Delighted to find myself among the 44 thousand plus punters at the Western Paddock on Saturday night for the return of good old fashioned biffo.
Of course the entire ground was abuzz at half-time, and all the talk of the bars and the smoking lounges was the huge king hit that BBB Hall put on the Staker kiddie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dsiuc169_w
Even though we were in the best cheap seats we have had for years [25 rows back just to the right of the southern goal posts] only saw it out of the corner of my eye, as it was way off the ball, and for most people in the ground, they only realized something was going on when Staker went down like a sack of potatoes and didn’t get up for the ten count.
And then there were words exchanged, and bit of tub thumping and shirt pulling, then the Bamford took an interest and had come in for a chat and taken out the little book; so, clearly, something was going on.
Then the replay appeared, once only, on the big screens around the ground to a collective groan and “oh, dear” from the crowd.
There were dark mutterings from West Coast fans about a “return to the bad old days when he was at St Kilda”, “rub him out for the season”, “anger management” and “weak mongrel”
And yet, the general consensus of opinion at half time among the punters at the ground who actually saw it was that six weeks would be about the right freight.
The Good Lady Wife simply remarked “poor old Barry, he just wants to have a rest for a few weeks”.
Then, with five minutes left in the match, BBB Hall contrives to put himself head first through an advertising hoarding with enough force to break his wrist, to the extent that it needed surgery.
That will keep him out for six weeks at a minimum anyway!
In the hastily cobbled together Sunday afternoon media conference with BBB Hall and SC Roos [who sensibly didn’t say anything of any import] the lunatic blamed the whole incident on a “brain explosion” and said “it looked very ordinary on the replay” and “I will take my medicine”.
No mention of the fact that the replay clearly showed Staker had hit him in the head moments before and was then trying to choke the bloke, and Hall just retaliates with a wild air swing that turned into a very effective left hook, as Staker didn’t see it coming and foolishly put his chin in the way of it.
Can’t blame anyone for that.
Apparently BBB he is not going to plead provocation, or the usual defence that “it was only a bit of a love tap, your Honour, nothing in it”.
Of course, the beaks who run the modern game in Melbourne will take a very dim view of it, but for us old blokes, it got the nostalgia and a hankering for the good old days going.
Immediately reminded me of Murray Weidemann; the enforcer and king hit specialist in the West Adelaide ruck back in the days before video was invented [and yet he did manage to spend a lot of time down at the tribunal].
Others invoked the memory of famous hardmen such as Barry Jarman, Neil Kerley and Mark Jackson.
But, back to the game itself, and it looked won for mine by quarter time after Magic had managed to climb out of his wheelchair and put on a bit of magic at our end, with a couple of majors.
By half time, it was all over bar the shouting, as the result was by then never in doubt.
The Weagles refusal to flood and instead rely on a hard marking-up game left the gate wide open for the Sydney forwards.
As a ten year old boy in front of me heard me barrack “for gawd sake, kick it long! You’ve got a fifty/fifty chance of making it stick”
The boy looked over his shoulder and said “you’re right mate, and they’ve also got a fifty/fifty chance of scoring a hundred” [at that point the Swans score was in the 70’s!]
Captain “never played a bad game” Kirk was all over the ground, The Goodes Train did a few clever things, and at times backs were even playing forward, with the Ugliest Man in Football on fire and playing like a tackling machine out of his mind.
But Marty Mattner was arguably the best on ground, and could well be the best buy the Swans have made for many a season [certainly better than draft pick 28 that they traded for him for – how is draft pick 28 going anyway?]
So early in the season, and a second team is sent packing from Sydney with their tail between their legs after a ten goal football lesson.
Ominous.
Not wanting to be seen in anyway to be advocating or condoning gratuitous on-field violence, but it’s always very satisfying to see the Weagles smashed in more ways than one.
And now the “a bloody point” hoodoo is gorn, good and proper.

SYDNEY SWANS: 4.2, 8.6,12.8, 16.11(107). Goals: O'Loughlin 4, McVeigh 2, Barlow 2, Hall, Mattner, Goodes, O'Keefe, Kirk, J.Bolton, Jolly, Jack.
WEST COAST EAGLES: 1.2, 2.3, 4.5, 5.15(45). Goals: McKinley 4, Armstrong.
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 44,235.

Another Wests Tigers game that almost completely passed me by, hearing only snippets of the radio call down in Dad’s Shed.
But spies at the ground suggested it was an absolute shocker.
To be leading 24-10 at half time and then lose the game 30-24 against a team that doesn’t have a whole lot going for it, suggests it could be a very long, injury-cruelled season.
SC Sheens on interview after the game limited his comments to "the next month's going to be a tough month for the club".
Matty Head [who hasn’t played first grade in a long while] who came into the side after Farah was ruled out for a few more weeks with Shagger’s Back, actually brought a very good pin-point kicking game to the team for the first time in weeks, but all the good work was undone as the Tigers somehow how left their entire defensive set up in the shed’s at half time.
SC Sheens certainly as a lot of forelock tugging to do this week, as to lose next week’s 100th anniversary match against the hapless South Sydney Rabbitohs at the Sydney Cricket Ground would be simply unthinkable for any Balmain stalwart

CANBERRA RAIDERS 30 Tries: Purtell [3], Tilse, Tongue, Carney. Goals: Carney [3].
WESTS TIGERS 24 Tries: Harrison [2], Tuiaki, Collis. Goals: Hodgson [4].
At Canberra Stadium.
Crowd: 12,260.

"never bet on football, son"

Punters,

My dear departed father was always full of sage advice in his advancing years, e.g., “never bet on football, son. it’s a mugs game”.
However, having had a cursory glance at the recent results between the two sides at http://footystats.freeservers.com/Daily/Diary.html and realizing that Sydney and Brisbane have not played anything but very close games over many years; could not resist having a lick at the luxury odds of $4.50 the bookies were offering on the Swans to win by 1-19 points.
Good get.
The old man was also an adherent to the principle that rules are made to be broken.
A solid performance all round from the boys, with SC Roos finally working out the “zone” [whatever that really is!]
A good start from the visitors for a change in an away game, and the Bears were never going to kick their way through that defence for any sort of lead at any stage, and in fact the home side spent all night playing catch up football.
Good to see the forwards start firing on the back of some excellent work out of the backs – five multiple goal kickers -- and Magic at least showing some semblance of form and kicking a few goals to boot.
When he starts taking some hard-fought one-one-on-one marks, things are looking up.
Rhino Keefe was best on ground for mine, with McVeigh not far behind and Captain” never played a bad game” Kirk did well in marshalling the troops.
Good to see SC Roos coaching from the bench again, and the way the dug-out is arranged at the Gabba, on the television footage at least, he appeared to be swinging from the monkey bars for much of the night.
Tickets to the cheap seats are in hand for the time honoured grudge match against the Weagles at the Western Paddock this Saturday night.
There are always scores to settle in this one.
Seen these people before -- there will no doubt be some die hard fools again -- who come a very very very long way across the Nullabor to see their team lose.
They will be personally reminded of the fact.

BRISBANE: 1.2, 5.4, 7.7, 10.11 (71). Goals: Bradshaw 5, Henderson 2, Brown, Notting, Sherman.
SYDNEY: 3.3, 7.4, 10.6, 13.10 (88). Goals: O'Loughlin 2, McVeigh 2, Moore 2, O'Keefe 2, Hall 2, Kirk, Buchanan, Barlow.
At Brisbane Cricket Ground (‘Gabba).
Crowd; 29,061.


The Tigers match almost entirely passed me by.
Have not seen a frame of the action, and a good thing too, by the look of the scoresheet.
By what the fishwraps have to say, the Tigers kicking game was “poor” to “non-existent” [like it would be a good idea to determine in the game plan who was actually doing the kicks in play for a start off!], and with Farah out with a bad back, the forwards were lacking starch, and the backs working on no-go-forward from the forwards, very quickly ran out of attacking ideas, just as they did last week against the Bulldogs.
Looks like SC Sheens has quite a lot of work to do on the training paddock this week, after they let the chance to embed themselves in the top eight early in the season go begging. The “we’ll learn from our losses” side of the coaching ledger will take on extra significance, as the next few games are no gimme’s by any means, and as he’d be acutely aware, seasons can be flat lined by early losing streaks.
You have to pity the poor hardened Western Suburbs fans, though, coaxed out of their comfortable homes to go to Campbelltown Sports ground, which can be a god forsaken place on a wet and miserable Monday night, just to be denied their pom poms, and see their team get a flogging.
The long-sufferers must have left the ground thinking “can do better”.

WESTS TIGERS 8: Try: Ryan. Goals: Hodgson (2).
PENRITH PANTHERS 30: Tries: Blair, Gordon, Jennings, Priddis, Tighe. Goals: Sammut (5).
At Campbelltown Sports Ground.
Crowd: 11,898.

a politically correct world gone completely barking mad

What's this I see?
The Kittens no more in a politically correct world gone completely barking mad.
A sad day indeed.

Word for word from the Wests Tigers website:

WESTS TIGERS DROP THEIR POM POMS

Wests Tigers has taken a bold step with its cheerleaders in the centenary season of rugby league – no Pom Poms!
The Wests Tigers Dance Team will make their debut performance without their customary pom poms at Campbelltown Sports Stadium on Monday, April 7, for the game against Penrith.
“We want to show our girls can dance without pom poms,’’ said Wests Tigers Dance Team Co-ordinator Claire Blomfield.
“It is the first time in the history of Wests Tigers our cheerleaders will be without their pom poms. Our dance routines will now be based around themed dances, not traditional cheerleading routines.’’
To support the new look, Wests Tigers have dropped the name ‘Kittens’, preferring to use the more athletic name of Dance Team. The Wests Tigers Dance Team will now wear more sporty looking costumes.
In a further move, Wests Tigers Dance Team will be major supporters of children’s hospitals throughout Sydney. The club already supports the Kids of Macarthur Health Foundation at Campbelltown Hospital.
“Everyone knows hospitals are boring places and for the Dance Team to come out and do a routine would brighten the place, especially for sick kids,’’ said Wests Tigers General Manager of Sales and Marketing Scott Longmuir.
“Our visits will be like a mini show and include appearances by the Wests Tigers mascot.’’

goat water

Dreamers,

Thinking that the Chairman and the Three Wise Men have got it just about right when it comes to the touring party for the West Indies.
Little doubt that the elevation of MJ Clarke to the vice-captaincy was a fait accompli with the graceful departure of the Great Gilly.
Not sure about now, but in the olden days the vice-captaincy would have entitled him to a seat at the touring selection table, the old “well, it’s you and me skip, who do like among the rest?”
Now he has cleared the hurdle of being engaged to be married, he can leave all that for his missus-to-be and his agents to organize, while he gets on with the game.
The selection of The Kat was also a lay down mizere, in fact there would have been calls for a Royal Commission if he had been left out of the squad.
Had to be picked on the sheer weight on runs, and while its easy to dismiss Katich as the spare bat in this party, he can play anywhere between 1 and 6, so should be able to keep the pressure on the top order,
The Beau Casson kiddie is undoubtedly the bolter in the 15, but confesses to his delight in being picked to fulfill the duties of Tour Entertainment Officer for the duration.
Hilfenhaus and Nofke will also be required to do a lot of drinks carrying.
In fact the party has a distinct party flavour to it: Old Haydos on the pans whipping up the odd pot of goat water [www.caribbeanchoice.com/recipes/recipe.asp?recipe=341]
Casson mixing the rum punches, TSC MacGill serving the cheeky Chablis, Roy rolling the scoobs, Mr Cricket doing the musical selections, and MJC responsible for rounding up the girls.
Ahhh…life in the Caribbean.

Test squad Matthew Hayden, Phil Jaques, Ricky Ponting (capt), Michael Hussey, Michael Clarke, Andrew Symonds, Simon Katich, Brad Haddin (wk), Ashley Noffke, Beau Casson, Brett Lee, Mitchell Johnson, Stuart Clark, Stuart MacGill, Ben Hilfenhaus.

on song with the slipper

Benchmen,

On that performance you can imagine teams who are scheduled to play in Sydney this year sitting around staring vacantly at a blank whiteboard as the coach scratches his head trying to figure how to get out of Sin City without the benefit/humiliation of a ten goal football lesson.
The cricket ground will be a very difficult assignment for any visitors this season.
Port were perfectly outplayed by a team that knows every blade of grass like the backs of their hand
The two Bolton’s combined to be best on ground in one, for mine, but contributions from all over the park – too many to mention.
Marty Mattner could see himself coming into his own and could be a good buy [played his 100th AFL match in this game and yet no one has ever heard of him], the sort of bloke who will “toil manfully” all day.
Son of Gary certainly has his father’s turn of speed and a kicking boot to match; must’ve realized that he was too small in stature to play the rugby league but could get a go in rules with his pace & accuracy.
He also doesn’t mind a good smack in the head.
Marvellous to witness, even by remote control, Michael O’Loughlin back on song with the slipper.
Fantastic to see the wily veteran [who already has the appearance record in the dilly bag] march past (465 career goals) Plugger (462 career goals),and now only trailing the great Bob Pratt (the forever unattainable 681 Swans goals) on the Swans' all-time goal scorer’s list.
Perhaps it is now time for one of the assistant coaches to approach the AFL’s Equipment Technology Standards sub committee and ask them if it would be alright if Magic wheeled himself out to say, centre-half forward in a sports wheelchair, so he can manoeuver around the forward line like some kind of murder ball player.
The only time that he is allowed to get up and walk, is when he tees off for goal, as if using a seven iron, having taken the mark in the chair.
You are always going to win with BBB Hall kicking five fa’s up front and the likes of Leaping Leo and the Ugliest Man in Football also finding themselves on the score sheet.
There were some classic cutaway shots on the television coverage of SC Roos on the bench, personally running the bench, and at one point BBB appeared to be giving the coach quite a bit of lip before throwing his hands in the air.
A few moments later there was a slo-mo replay of SC Roos, fixing a bead on Hall, as he appeared to be saying “why don’t you just shut the f*uck up, Barry, and let me get on with coaching the team?”
That’ll do.

SYDNEY: 6.2, 10.5, 17.10, 22.14 (146). Hall 5, O'Loughlin 4, McVeigh 2, Kirk 2, Barlow, Jack, Barry, Bolton, Roberts-Thomson, Goodes, Grundy, Bevan.
PORT ADELAIDE: 4.1, 6.7, 7.8, 11.12 (78). Goals: S.Burgoyne 4, Tredrea 2, Motlop 2, Rodan, K.Cornes, Pettigrew
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 20,700.

The Mighty Tigers looked like premiership material for the first 15 minutes for mine, what with the early try; but then, and lets see how many clichés we can employ here - it all went pear shaped, the wheels had fallen off, the game plan had gone agricultural, and after that, it was all downhill from there, before eventually, the floodgates opened. The Tigers cause wasn’t particularly advanced by a terrible kicking game.
You only have to look at the match winning try, when a Morris grubber more or less landed straight in the arms of Sonny Bill Williams, who, after he had completed a legal juggling act, put on a burst of speed and just strolled away the 70 metres to the try line with a couple of slow-moving try-hard Balmain forwards floundering in his wake.
Did the first two games of the season take the stuffing out of them, or are they yet to be truly match fit for a game played in “the heat” [ie about 26 degrees!]?
They are sure to find out the answer to that question this week on the training paddock.
Ran out of legs in the last 15 minutes for sure; the soft tries conceded tell anyone that, and SC Sheens looked to be at his wits end, as he could see the moves that were required from his spot on the bench, almost at ground level, but had already realized that his players had simply run out of ideas, as well as running on empty, and there was not much he could do about it.
Gawd almighty - hate getting beaten by Canterbury.
It becomes even more intolerable after having lived the past 11 years in Bulldogs heartland territory, given as we are, but a hop skip and a jump from their spiritual home, Belmore Sports Ground.
But, you just have to learn to cope, somehow…

CANTERBURY-BANKSTOWN BULLDOGS 32. Tries: Patten 2, El Masri, SB Williams, Nanai, Ryan. Goals: El Masri 4.
WESTS TIGERS 12. Tries: Ryan, Halatau. Goals: Hodgson 2
At Olympic Stadium, Homebush.
Crowd: 21,057.
Craven.

deep pockets

Love struck oglers,

Australia’s 25 most beautiful people, eh?
And she doesn’t make the cut.
Trust the Indian papers to strike on a dollar figure for the rock.

http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/india-news/michael-clarke-snares-lara-bingle-with-1-lac-dlrs-5-carat-diamond-ring_10030904.html

My mother always said that one must spend at least a month’s salary on the engagement ring.
The kiddie obviously has fairly deep pockets, that just about need to get a whole lot deeper to cope with the upcoming mining operation.
It’s a very good thing that I’ve never been engaged.