there has been a miracle!!

Hallelujah

Praise the good lord Joisus!! For there has been a miracle!!
Lewis Roberts-Thompson aka ‘the ugliest man in football’ has made a triumphant return to the Sydney Swans bench for Saturday night’s game against St Kilda at the Western Paddock:


Sydney Swans V St Kilda


Backs: Kennelly, Barry, Malceski
Half Backs: Bevan, C. Bolton, Mathews
Centres: Ablett, Kirk, Buchanan
Half Forwards: OKeefe, OLoughlin, McVeigh,
Forwards: Schneider, Hall, Davis
Followers: Jolly, J. Bolton, Goodes
Int: Everitt, Fosdike, Richards, R-Thomson
Emergencies: Brennan, Dempster, Schmidt

Ins: Barry, Roberts-Thomson
Outs: Brennan, Grundy

Be there and bear witness.
Honour the name…and Cheer Cheer.

a question that will take some pondering

Spectators,

A strong training run for the Swans on a chilly, breezy Sunday afternoon in Canberra.
Not much more to be learnt from giving the hapless Demons an eight goal football lesson, apart from the fact that they shouldn’t have let in the last couple of Melbourne goals, and boosted their percentage even further.
Thought Buchanan had a blinder; in everything from the off, and did a Goodes Train impression, in that he was capable of bobbing up all over the ground with the ball on string.
Rhino Keefe had another great game, Along Came A Schneider is finding some real late season form, Fosdike played well for the second week in a row, Malceski held the back line together as usual, and even Spida made some useful contributions in the ruck.
SC Roos relaxed the forward structure to the point where there were no less than 12 –count’ em – 12 different goals kickers, but against the defence offered up by the Demons, it was a day when virtually anyone could have a pop and be more or less guaranteed a major.
Richmond followed by Melbourne is not exactly a great yardstick for the pointy end, but next weekend’s encounter against St Kilda in the last home game of the season at the Western Paddock will be a better measure of how the Swans are travelling up to the big ones.
Tickets are in hand.
Surely there must have been some discussion at the Monday morning smoko at the magic waters at the Bronte Sea Pool about how to approach the seemingly impossible in the modern game – how to qualify for the Grand Final without having the benefit of a home final early in September?
It’s a question that will take some pondering.

MELBOURNE: 0.2, 3.4, 5.5, 9.10 (64). Goals: Holland 3, Davey 2, Jamar, Miller, Neitz, Newton
SYDNEY: 5.1, 10.5, 14.9, 17.10 (112). J.Bolton 2, Buchanan 2, Jolly 2, O'Keefe 2, Schneider 2, Ablett, N.Davis, Goodes, Grundy, Hall, Malceski, O'Loughlin
At Manuka Oval, Canberra.
Crowd: 11,266.


This is sounding more and more like a broken record – but the Might Tiges wuz robbed – yet again!
Good thing I only caught the radio call on this one, otherwise I would’ve have been trying to reach into the television to strangle the ref
Absolutely caned in the first half penalties, with the Titan’s scoring on almost every subsequent set of six and cruelling the Tigers chances by half time.
And it didn’t help that the first try of the game saw that rat traitor Scotty Prince put in a bomb, only to see it ricochet off the cross bar, back into the field of play, where it was scooped up and run into the in-goal with ease – never mind that half a dozen Titans players were offside!
Even the ever cautious SC Sheens had a go at the Bamford in a subtle way, reminding him that Balmain is the least penalised team in the entire competition.
SC Sheens also reminded anyone who would listen that of the five games the Tigers have had with Steven Clarke as the match official, they have only won one.
Tells you plenty.
Obviously, this particular Bamford, Steven Clarke, along with Paul Simpkins, and to hell with it – while we are naming names – the Chief Bamford, Robert Finch, are all fools to themselves, and a burden on the community.
Didn’t help either that the Great Hoddo was a late withdrawl due to a corked knee [what other injury can he get this year?].
And Titans coach Cartwright also freely admitted that he employed the very sneaky tactic of using the two former Tigers players in his side, that rat traitor Prince, and that notorious enforcer Warren Lanfranchi, to deliberately slow down the play-the-ball in order to nullify the effectiveness of Farah around the ruck.
Worked pretty well by all accounts.
Nothing the opposing coach can do about it, and remarkably, if done subtly, it’s not even against the rules!
Amazingly, the loss didn’t do too much damage to the Tigers on the ladder, sitting comfortable in eighth, and only one win out of the top four.
In fact, there was even some mid-week talk about a home final, and the fact that it should be played at Leichhardt Oval, as Balmain is “a two-try better team at Leichhardt”.
But you can bet your bottom dollar it won’t be.
Any home final will be at the Olympic Stadium, as there’s not near enough capacity at Leichhardt, even if they charged twice the price on the supply and demand factor, and it costs the club a fortune to gear up the ancient ground for a game day anyway.
But SC Sheens would be aghast as such talk, saying we are getting way ahead of ourselves here.
Even so, given that the last four games are all against teams below the Tigers on the current table, it should be achievable, and then as we’ve seen in the not too distant past, anything’s possible from there.

GOLD COAST TITANS 30. Tries: Cooper, Webster, Delaney, Lewis, Laffranchi. Goals: Delaney (5).
WESTS TIGERS 14. Tries: Tuiaki (2), Lawrence. Goals: Marshall (1).

At Carrara Oval, Gold Coast.

Crowd 17,257.

an ornament to the game

Hillites,

Delighted to be able to count myself among the denizens of the Leichhardt Oval hill on Monday night.
An what a game of ruby league it was, at still the best viewing ground in all of Sydney since 1907!
Just a crying shame that it’s only used for three games a year.
Refreshingly old fashioned to spend a night out with like minded people on one of the last of the great mounds in the known universe.
Also, one of the last football grounds in the world where you can actually get a hot pie and an ice cold beer [Carlton Draught in cans for a fiver; none of this mucking about with the plastic cup rubbish, and as a result no beer queues all night at The Scoreboard Bar.]
Everyone on the hill was more or less on their feet for the entire second half, a screamin’ and a yelling’, a hootin’ and a hollerin’ as the Mighty Tiges ran in seven second half tries – for a total of ten – count ‘em – ten tries!
[Don’t think I’ve ever seen the Tigers score 54 points at Leichhardt Oval, although I do distinctly remember a 52-0 score line against South Sydney many years ago now. The day a lunatic Souths fan got up on the narrow ledge around the scoreboard and began loudly haranguing the crowd below. Only fell off after he’d managed to weather the storm of being pelted with thousands of empty beer cans].
Hoddo managed to get on the scoresheet in his 200th, but remarkably the Lawrence toddler was not among the scorers, after having scored a try in every game he’s played this year.
They just weren’t using his wing that much, on account of they didn’t have to.
Everyone lost count of who was scoring anyway and where they were coming from, as the Tigers steamrolled the hapless Cowboys and just seemed to barge over the line at will.
Even the scorers couldn’t keep up, and according to one, Robbie Farah never even shaped up for a place kick all night, while some other scorers say otherwise!
What a coup for the club’s marketing department.
Hoddo’s 200th [nice touch that the club printed up thousands of Hoddo masks to distribute to the crowd, which were put to a variety of creative uses] the annual Laurie Nicholls [a bloke seven years dead and still very fondly remembered] tribute night, and a crowd only a couple of thousand short of a full house, and then 54-10!
It doesn’t get any better than that for the fans.
Good to see that SC Sheens on interview after the game [again in the fetching pink shirt and pinstripe charcoal suit jacket] insisted that there was virtually nothing to be learnt from the win:
“now let’s be realistic, the Cowboys were well underdone, they were nowhere near their best side, Thurston obviously played injured, so we’re not kidding ourselves, but while saying that, you’ve still gotta put ‘em away…they were in front of us, and we needed to win, and win well, and we did.”
Excellent to see Benji Marshall back on the paddock after his long recovery from his dodgy injured shoulder; coming back at just the right time of the season.
But I don’t know about the wisdom of playing him at half back, when you’ve got a perfectly good half back in Johnny Morris who now finds himself playing in the centres.
A few trademark jinks and offloads from Benji and we were on the scoreboard early, and it was really game over by half time.
On the Norm “Latchem” Robinson stand hung a large banner that simply read:
"JESUS WEPT
BENJI STEPPED”
Next thing they will be taking a leaf out of the Geelong book and start calling him “the Pontiff”

On his 200th game, it might be worth reflecting for a few moments on the career of The Great Hoddo
There is a helluva lot to like about Brett Hogdson.
You don’t play 200 first grade games and play for New South Wales unless you are any good.
There’s the apocryphal story of the bloke turning up to training at Western Suburbs for the first time.
“a weedy little kid who thought he could play rugby league”
The first thing he did was wander over to the incumbent first grade full back and enquire from him when he might be considering retirement.
The only problem was that the incumbent first grade full back took him seriously!
All the skills.
Victoria Cross style bravery in defence, to the extent of being foolhardy, almost to the point of lunacy; even if it does mean having your face reconstructed with titanium plates in the most recent instance
Loves nothing more than being bashed from pillar to post while running the ball out of defence after fielding a ball in the in-goal.
Just loves it.
Safe as houses under the high ball, and you could probably count the number of grubbers into the in-goal that he hasn’t rounded up on the fingers of one hand.
Not much in the way of a jink and a step but certainly does have that priceless gift possessed by all the great full backs – the ability to insert himself into the attacking line at precisely the right instant and brush off a defender, put in a searching little run [he has a fantastic turn of speed over 20 yards], and offload to one of his wingers with one man to beat, or take on his opposing number man-on-man, and score himself.
A part time goal kicker, to be sure, but one who nonetheless would have put more over the black dot than ones he’d sprayed away from the posts.
Unlike other Balmain full-backs I could name [but won’t, you know who they are]; not a hint of malice in his play; he’s never been one to play the game filthy.
I’d be very surprised if he’s even been hauled before the Judiciary of a Tuesday night.
As identified by SC Sheens, a good leader of men, and that doesn’t mean that you have to be a traffic cop.
More involves being able to pick the body language of your team mates and putting a word in there, a pat on the head here.
Also, by all reports, a great club man who does the right thing by the sponsors, and as far as I can remember, his personal life has never been mentioned in the press.
And a fine rugby league brain apparently, who works in close concert with SC Sheens on the plans for the set plays.
A legendary stylist, who doesn’t appear to have been born with any particular brilliance, but has over time, perfected his art.
All in all, an ornament to the game.

WESTS TIGERS 54 Tries: Harrison (2), Tuiaki, Morris, Hodgson, Heighington, Fitzhenry, Farah, Galea, Halatau.
Goals: Hodgson (3), Marshall (3), Farah (1).
NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS 10 Tries: Smith, Bartlett. Goals: Thurston (1).
At Leichhardt Oval.
Crowd: 17,101.

OR:

WESTS TIGERS 54 Tries: Harrison (2), Tuiaki, Morris, Hodgson, Heighington, Fitzhenry, Farah, Galea, Halatau.
Goals: Hodgson (4), Marshall (3).
NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS 10 Tries: Smith, Bartlett. Goals: Thurston (1).
At Leichhardt Oval.
Cowd: 17,101.

Talk about another case of needing to put a side away.
The Swans performance was clinical, if nothing else.
Keeping in touch with the eight and a nice percentage booster.
Nice to see BBB Hall dominant against some hapless opposition.
A classic goal when he managed to bust out of about four tackles using his strength and imposing physique, found himself just out side the goal square, turned on a five cent piece, and bang!
Snapped it through the big ones.
The Goodes train had a good one and is hopefully at last tuning up for the pointy end, but poor ol’ Magic looks more and more like a passenger every week.
Rhino Keefe had another blinder, while C.Bolton, McVeigh, and Kirk put in their usual sound performances.
Richmond just goes to show you what happens when you field a team that is too small, too slow and too weak – even for a bunch of creaking veterans.
Jeez, you wouldn’t want to be one of those Tigers fans, unless you enjoy suffering!

SYDNEY: 4.3 9.5 16.7 21.12 (138). Goals: Hall 6, Davis 4, Schneider 3, O'Keefe 2, Everitt 2, Bevan, J. Bolton, Jolly, Schmidt.
RICHMOND: 3.2 6.7 9.9 10.12 (72). Goals: Brown 3, Hughes 2, Edwards, Krakouer, Moore, Pettifer, Riewoldt
At Sydney Cricket Ground.

Crowd: 23,199.

lover's tiff in the shire

If Sydney's Daily Telegraph can be believed, [and let's face it, who wouldn't believe the Daily Telegraph?] the great MJ Clarke and the The Bedbreaker had something of a lover's tiff at a Shire nightclub mid-week.
The paper quotes a friend of a friend saying Laura was seen to "run out of the bar in tears after the fight"
"The girl who was with her went and got her and they came back in and started dancing in the corner", the source said.
The paper also alleges that Pup was spoken to by the venue security after a "junior barman" refused him service when he breasted the bar with a drink order for eight.
Pup's manager denied that there had been any argument with the Bingle, but confirmed the speaking to from security, but added that it had nothing to with alcohol, saying Pup was "not the least bit intoxicated".
After the incident he was apparantly offered the use of a private room.
Joisus.
The winter has been too cold and too long.
Stop mucking about and get thee back to the nets, my son.

a bed of specially prepared hot coals at League HQ

Absurdists,

What an absolutely disgraceful showing from the Bamfords.
Must be one if the worst on record, surely?
At least two of the Warriors first half tries contained blatant forward passes in the lead up work, with one according to the radio call, at least a metre forward, right under the nose of the blind touch judge.
To make matters worse, Simpkins – remember the name – pulled the Tigers up for a forward pass that wasn’t forward.
And they were denied a fair try by the video referee!
What on earth is going on?
Never mind that SC Sheens dragged the Captain after the first Warriors try when he found himself out of position and clueless in defence as his man strolled into the in-goal untouched.
Never mind that the Tigers pack was monstered all day by the massive Maori/South Sea Islander units that make up the Warriors forwards.
Still robbed blind.
I turned off the car radio in disgust at half time as the crowd at Campbelltown gave the Bamfords a right bollocking, and the Tigers, at 22-4, had little chance of staging a comeback.
Only later did I learn that Simpkins had a complete brain explosion and sent off a Warriors player in the 79th minute for a knee to the head in a grapple tackle, when there wasn’t even the merest suggestion of a knee to the head!
The bloke must have been dead set tripping on LSD.
As the commentator at League Unlimited put it:
“I think I speak for most people when I say fans, players and coaches are sick and tired of putting up with this sort of rubbish each week.”
Good to see that the fool was skewered on a spit and slowly rotated over a bed of specially prepared hot coals at League HQ on Monday morning.
Still, it doesn’t get back the two premiership points, does it?
It’s a sheer wonder that SC Sheens managed to keep his mouth shut and avoid the $10,000 fine for having a go at match officials, and sensibly limited his post match comments to “we’ll learn from out losses”.
And a very costly loss at that, as the Mighty Tiges slip from third to eighth on the ladder in one fell swoop.
A worry that Robbie Farah left his kicking boots at home, and failed to slot one all day.
There are rumours that he is in fact playing injured, and has been doing so for several weeks.
They should go back to Collis as the goal kicker, and leave Farah with the kicks in play duties.
The wisdom of purchasing tickets for next Monday night’s encounter against the Cowboys at Leichhardt Oval must now be called into question, as I don’t want to put the mock on them by turning up to the game.
But, then again, there is a chance The Great Benji and The Great Hoddo could return from injury.
I’d like to see that.

WESTS TIGERS 16. Tries: Collis, Heighington, Lawrence, Tuiaki.
NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS 28. Tries: Rovelli (2), Ropati, Koopu, Luck. Goals: Witt (4).
At Campbelltown Sports Ground.
Crowd: 14,012.


As I predicted a few weeks ago, the Swans season is being cruelled by injury.
Exactly the same pattern emerged at Subiaco Oval as did at Kardinia Park.
No Kennelly. No Hall. No win.
Given that Kennelly is worth at least three goals saved out the back, and Hall is kicking three goals up front every game, their absence easily accounted for the two goal swing in the final analysis.
Never mind that Ben Cousins played like he’d never left off the go juice, and looked like he was still off his chops on crystal meth.
He’s certainly been to the gym in his time away, but surely that couldn’t explain it.
Get thee to the drug testers, young laddie.
Thought the standing ovation he got on his appearance on the ground was way over the top, but you get that.
For mine, Rhino Keefe had an absolute blinder, but then again, he really had no choice as he was forced to take the entire forward line burden on his own shoulders all night, with a little help from Along Came A Schneider.
McVeigh and Malceski battled manfully throughout
You have to wonder what Spida and Magic were doing with themselves?
Once again exposed as lacking a yard of pace against teams chock full of rising stars, who regularly play four or five rookies every week.
And Nick Davis certainly didn’t Come to Save Us
Swans will have to make better use of their draft picks this year than they have in recent years, otherwise there’s no future.
Will have to shed the image as a retirement and rehabilition home for old cranky players who used to have a lot of talent.
SC Roos should probably rest Kennelly and Hall for the Richmond game, even if they are right, as you’d expected Sydney to win that one in a canter at home even with a depleted line up.
Lewis Roberts-Thompson doesn’t even appear on the casualty ward list, which might suggest that he’s gorn for the season without even strapping on a boot.
Leo Barry has also done a hammy.
Very hard to see them doing much in September from here, especially as the stats guru’s and the fortune tellers are predicting they will just sneak into the pointy end in eighth.

WEST COAST: 2.6, 6.9, 13.14, 16.16 (112). Goals: Hansen 4, Staker 3, Cox 3, Judd 2, Jones, Chick, Hunter, Lynch.
SYDNEY: 2.3, 6.9, 9.9, 15.10 (100). Goals: O’Keefe 4, Mathews 2, O’Loughlin 2, Schneider 2, Barry, Jolly, Schmidt, Davis, McVeigh.
At Subiaco Oval, Perth.,
Crowd: 40, 014.

Pup acquires a pup

It appears that MJ Clarke was spotted doing a spot of shopping in the Lilli Pilli IGA mid-week. It was noticed that in the shopping trolley there were a few cans of dog food. This is no doubt to feed the dog that was recently purchased by the girlfriend. Now that's a very serious worry. Nothing says "domestic bliss" more than getting a dog. It was also noticed that he put the green shopping bags into the back of a Land Rover and drove away. Wonder what his sponsors at Ford think about that?

using all of his eight legs

When was the last time the Swans handed out a ten goal football lesson, while in the process of kicking 20+ goals in a game?
Some stats guru out there will know, but certainly not this season.
Swans arrived at the ground trying, as usual, to shake off the effects of the Mogadon.
BBB Hall seems to be the major culprit here as he dashes off here and there all over the forward line to try to run out the niggles early.
SC Roos should instruct him to stand in the goal square like a stone statue early, and let the midfield kick long to him, and see what happens.
The tricky stuff can come later, and there sure as hell wouldn’t be as many first quarter turnovers
As I’ve been saying all season, the coaching staff are still trying to work out what’s going on behind the slow start, in this case having four goals kicked on them from the off, and they better find a solution before September, otherwise there is no going anywhere against class teams.
And in tactical terms, never mind putting on six goals in the Championship Quarter, they really should have put the opposition away – and they didn’t.
Another worry.
Spida Everitt had his first best on ground performance of the year with a classic display of old fashioned tip and run ruck work.
As evinced by his opening goal, when he won the centre bounce hit out, then bounded away down to centre half forward using all of his eight legs, before picking up the ball off the carry from a couple of centremen, and booting it through the big sticks, untouched throughout.
Malceski wasn’t far behind for best; if it wasn’t for him they could have been a lot further down at quarter time, and he provided the backline starch on a day where Kennelly’s knees/groins were obviously being nursed off the bench.
He even took the opportunity afforded by hopeless defence to have a good run along the wing and kick a couple of goals himself!
Along Came a Schneider warmed to the theme with a couple of very very clever goals, while McVeigh put in two excellent quarters, and what more can be said about Cap’n “never played a bad game” Kirk?
As usual, Nick Davis Come to Save Us, didn’t get much mud on him, but a least he put away a few majors.
In other words, everyone who should have been on fire, was.
But, Carlton is a classic example of a team gone bad -- the senior list is in disarray on the paddock, and as a result, the junior staff appear to be pretty much clueless.
So in those terms, perhaps the Swans performance should be rated as little better than going around the course in regulation?
Denis Pagan must be suffering from hot and cold flushes, and the night terrors, I’d reckon.
As for Fevola, in his first game back from being dropped for being a complete idiot.
As a good friend in Melbourne said a couple of weeks ago at the height of the controversy:
aah, that Fevola, he’s just such a knob, isn’t he?”
I’d love to be a fly on the wall at the Monday morning smoko.
Who knows what SC Roos would discuss with the leadership group?
Perhaps the prospect of Ben “how to win a Brownlow off your chops on crystal meth” Cousins returning to a hopelessly out of form Weagles side next week against them at Subiaco would be on the agenda?
The sledging possibilities, surely, would be endless.

SYDNEY: 3.3, 11.7, 17.9, 25.12 [162]. Goals : Everitt 4, Hall 4, Davis 3, Schneider 3, Kirk 2, McVeigh 2, Malceski 2, O'Loughlin 2, Jolly, Fosdike, Goodes.
CARLTON: 5.3, 7.4, 12.9, 15.10 [100]. Goals: Fisher 3, Lappin 3, Fevola 2, Bannister, Houlihan, Betts, O'Hailpin, Simpson, Koutoufides, Scotland.
At Sydney Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 24, 858.

A footnote on another dodgy crowd figure: Can’t believe that I was among only a handful of punters [less than 100 on last week’s fudged figure in the rain] that decided not to pay the $38 minimum to go to the ground and see Sydney play a very poorly performed side in a match they were expected to win well. Seems like Swans administration has decided in the reconfigured construction site that is the SCG, to just pluck an attendance figure from somewhere between 24 and 25 thousand out of thin air, and say to the AFL: “that’ll do”. Never mind the reality.

Didn’t pay much attention to the Friday night stoush between the Mighty Tiges and the Evil Silvertails.
Otherwise engaged at the opening of a street art exhibition, including something of a retrospective from the folk who brought you the BUGAUP movement in the ‘70’s and 80’s.
The Little Creatures beers for a gold coin donation to the “starving artists fund” were good, and it was most entertaining, unlike the football, apparently.
When I walked in through the front door with 15 minutes left in the match it was all over bar the shouting.
By all accounts the Tigers dominated Manly in the first half, but failed to convert the advantage into points on the score board, after being cruelled by a late Sea Eagles try, when Heighington apparently gave away a really stupid penalty.
There appeared nothing Balmain do could to stop the advance of the Manly steamroller after half time, while being severely punished in defence.
People I’ve spoken to [mind you, no-one who was actually at the ground] say the Tigers were caned in the penalties, but 22 unanswered points after the break says “don’t argue” to me.
Silvertails, on that form, would be entitled to be disappointed if they didn’t win the JJ Giltinan Shield for taking out the minor premiership.
Tackled on radio interview by Paul Osbourne after the game about the team’s copybook inconsistency, SC Sheens said:
”I don’t know. Back in my day, after a loss like that, we would have been hanging ourselves from the nearest trees, but nowadays, these kids, well, they just shrug it off saying ‘well, that was a bit of bad luck there, we’ll just have get ourselves up for next week’. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”
Joisus, if the genius doesn’t know, what hope have any of us got?


MANLY WARRINGAH SEA EAGLES 34. Tries: Menzies (2), Stewart, Monaghan, Robertson, Bryant. Goals: Orford (5).
WESTS TIGERS 4. Tries: Flanagan.
At Brookvale Oval.
Crowd: 15, 288.