no pumpkin sitting on his shoulders

Big hitters,

You have to feel sorry for the inform bats who are going around in first class cricket at the moment, given that none of them have a snowflakes chance in hell of breaking into the first XI this season, the way the top and middle order is traveling [admittedly, against a pop gun attack].
For blokes like Simon Katich [currently averaging 178], who is driven by fear and loathing, it must be particularly galling to know that you can go around the country and score big runs at will on all types of pitches against all types of bowling, and still your name won’t even get past the Blue Coat guarding the door at the meetings of the Chairman and the Three Wise Men.
Pomersbach [2nd in the averages] has managed to rule himself out, after finding himself “suspended indefinitely”, for some kind of mysterious encounter with the demon drink.

MJ Clarke’s 71 in Hobart was almost a cameo appearance.
Apart from smacking a bit of rubbish and a couple of cracking cut shots that sizzled through point, no one really noticed that he was even there until one bloke in the crowd turned to the bloke next to him and said ‘did you see that? Pup’s about to make a half ton”, and then the kiddie sheepishly raises his bat to the dressing room as he duly knocks up the 50.
But it does go to show that that’s no pumpkin sitting on his shoulders; he’s got a mature cricket brain for one of his tender age.
The whole purpose of the exercise was to push and nudge the ball around for singles square of the wicket on both sides in order to constantly turn over the strike to let the great MEK get on with the Serious Business of making a Big Test Match Hundred.
They did exactly what they did in Brisbane – carefully and methodically, not to mention ruthlessly, bat the opposition clean out the game, and for Pup the only self interest was pretty much just keeping the average tidy.
But he must have been disappointed with the way he got out; putting a glove on an absolute nothing ball, only to turn around in time to see the keeper take a screamer.
You have to admire Jacques stellar start to the resumption of his international career.
Just reward for all those endless days in all those endless seasons that is English County Cricket.
They are very hard yards to hoe indeed, and his colleagues don’t call him “Pro” for nothing.

Can’t let the moment pass without some comment on the disgracefully shabby hounding out of first class cricket of the great Boof.
The fools and jokers who purport to run the South Australian Cricket Association should hang their ugly heads in shame.
It’s them that should be run out town, not DS Lehmann.
Did not the SACA CEO comment that it was an “excellent time” for Boof to retire?
Talk about sinking the slipper, and then twisting the knife.
Boof will remember the name Deare.
And as for that chairman of SA selectors Nobes; if me and me mad Redbacks supporting mate had anything to do with it, he would be one of the first lined up against the wall and shot at dawn when the revolution comes.
The least of his many outrages was to install as captain a bloke who no one had ever heard of [the immensely talented Adcock] who averages about 20 in first class cricket batting at number five.
Crikey!
Boof retires with an outstanding first class average of 57.59.
Only god knows how many runs Boof scored for Yorkshire, but it must have been plenty, has he is one of the very very few non-natives to have been installed in the Yorkshire Hall of Fame.
One wonders if he will be accorded the same accolade by the utterly appalling administrators in Adelaide?
Surely now we can forgive Boof for his only major sin -- being Hookesy’s best mate.
Found his retirement media conference quite moving, with the old fella in tears for much of it.
It was all classically understated, but the oblique reference to Rod Marsh was in reality a good shot from the rocket propelled grenade launcher fired from the shoulder.
Let’s just hope it found its target.
At least the just reward for the SACA will be to preside over their team coming stone motherless last this season.
One of the most tawdry affairs witnessed in many a summer without doubt.
At least Boof can now take himself on a long fishing trip and start enjoying life again, but mark my words – he’ll be back – as the Chairman of the National Selection Panel in a couple of years time, where he can continue to be an ornament to the game.
Vale DS Lehmann.
Phew.
Glad to have that one off my chest.

not been idle on the workbench

Canine fanciers,

It’s fairly clear that MJ Clarke can’t get enough of batting at the ‘Gabba!
And what a way to kick off a season with nothing less than a classic test match hundred if ever there was one.
The whole purpose of a big test match hundred is to bat the opposition clean out of the game, and that, along with The Great MEK, is exactly what he did.
Spend all the time in the world getting your eye in at five, scratch around for a 50 while seeing to it that you see off the second new ball, and then get on with the job.
Only took a close interest in the first session on day two as I was otherwise engaged for the rest of the day [isn’t it always the way when your bloke’s batting?!!], but it was enough to reveal that the kiddie has certainly not been idle on the workbench over the off season.
Defence is much more compact than it used to – up, back, and cover all the stumps like he hasn’t done before, dramatically reducing the risk of getting out leg before, which has been his major problem in the past.
None of this swishing and wishing, or probing for rubbish outside off stump.
The footwork is as sweet as ever, with a classic example being the lofted off drive off Murali that hit that fence on the full – working left and right sets of toes like a stage dancer on point.
All the shots of course, with some Bradmanesque cover driving; the sort of collision of bat and ball that induces a collective short intake of breath in the crowd, then smiles and the ripple of applause, as they slowly realize they are in the presence of greatness.
The speed of the ball off the blade will always beat anyone forward of square on the off side as it sizzles its way to the boundary.
And no one in the modern game off cuts the ball, more often than not just backward of square, with such surety and ferocity.
Seems to have shed a few pounds too, but admitted that he was “completely buggered” after the day’s play, and after a good feed, ended up in bed, alone, and fast asleep at 8.30pm.
The laddie does like his sleep.
While 550 was obviously enough, you would have thought that Punter, with the time equation heavily in his favour, would have waited a few extra minutes - despite the worries about the light - to allow the bloke to get his 150 – don’t they still count for something a little extra in the record books these days?
And what’s this I read in the Daily Telegraph mid week of his love life being nothing short of sheer domestic bliss despite the recent slobbering incident in South Africa?
And that there’s even “off the record” talk of the pitter patter of tiny feet.
Joisus!
And I also hear a little birdie singing that MJ Clarke has been recently smeared with the holy ointments in a secret ceremony in the temple at Jolimont, on account of being the “natural successor” as the next Strayan captain.
Let’s just hope it doesn’t all go to his head.
Pup professed on the radio this morning that his sole purpose this season is to “cement my place in the side”, so surely, even at his tender age, he would be acutely aware of the distinct possibility of it all going pear shaped, or even ending up as a smouldering train wreck as it did two seasons ago, in what can be the cruelest of games.

The first triple century at the Sydney Cricket Ground since Bradman, and other stories...

Hedonists,

During Saturday afternoon’s massive day on the punt with my best mate Trev down from Newcastle [won early, won often, then backed the Cox Plate winner at 11/2 until our noses bled] the bush telegraph in the corner of the lounge room chattered into life and announced that Clarke [yep that’s right, Clarke, with an “e”] had taken three wickets late in the Queensland innings!
Intending to get along to the ground for day three, the late news came in that MJ Clarke has been “senselessly run out” for 23, with Simon Katich involved at the other end and Ryan Broad apparently throwing down the stumps from flat on his back…oh dear…Pup’s out…and we’re going to the game the next day.

Cricket and racing have one thing in common – no one can ever know what will happen from one minute to the next.
Certainly nothing presaged what would transpire on the day.
Simon Katich started the day on 70 odd, and then, with avoiding the follow-on on his mind, proceeded to spend something like 70 minutes in his 90’s, as Dom Thornley at the other end launched some heavy artillery, hitting two enormous sixes off the first two balls from the innocuous spinner Simpson [who the crowd quickly dubbed “Homer”].
For good measure he then finished off the over with a shot that sailed over the top of the sightboard at straight hit, and finished 30 rows back.
Katich finally got his 100 before lunch.
When we returned 20 minutes late from lunch at the Olympic Hotel, and were contemplating popping in to have a look at the A-league match next door at the SFS, it was clear something was going on.
Kat was really getting in amongst it and before anyone knew it he was approaching his 200.
When he got the double ton [with two sixes mind you], he had a mid-pitch conference with the Queensland skipper Jimmy Maher who appeared to all but concede the first innings points and ask ”when are you bloody well going to declare?’
Kat would have nothing of it.
The superbly well organised left hander clinically took apart the by now ragged Queensland bowling, again hitting two sixes [off another innocuous spinner, Sullivan, who was quickly dubbed by the crowd “Ed”], including a corker well back into the Ladies stand, to take what at the start of the day had been a highly unlikely first innings lead.
The crowd, which by then had swelled to about five thousand, just went completely bananas when he got the triple!
It was an almost faultless innings, his lofted drives on the on and the off in complete safety were imperious, while some lovely off cutting and driving beating point and cover all ends up, as the ball raced away to the boundary was a joy to watch.
Kat’s defence was impeccable, he never played the pull or the hook shot, but very rarely did he miss a chance to smack the rubbish, of which there was plenty on the four lane highway that the curator had rolled out.
Old hand’s described it as the best early season belter seen in Sydney in years.
Even Bing Lee got hit for a hundred in the Queensland innings, while TSC MacGill went for more than 200, and said afterwards that he “felt the ball was coming out the hand pretty well”.
Still, 300 is 300 is 300. Big numbers.
Kat offered his only chance in about his 180’s, when he put a very thick edge onto one from Mitchell Johnson [who couldn’t disquise his disappointment in the end] that flew; Queensland keeper Hartley performed a spectacular dive to the leg side, appeared to glove the ball cleanly, but then in the cloud of dust, arms, and legs that followed, managed to spill the pill, never having quite got the ball under control.
Problem was, the umpire at the bowlers end already had his finger up!
Hartley was good enough to approach the square leg umpire and say he didn’t catch it, the digit was withdrawn, and Kat was recalled to the wicket.
While all this was going on, Brad Haddin hit a gem of a ton.
Haven’t seen anyone for while who can stand and deliver off the back foot like he does – punching the ball like a boxer – the thing rolling away to the boundary more often than not.
Haddin’s also an excellent noodler; a consummate nudger of the ball for the typical well-run one-day-type single.
Hit his fair share of sixes too - a couple of square drives to the leg sailed into the empty Brewongle Stand concourse and took quite a while for the fieldsmen to find among the seats.
With the bats blazing away, Queensland got quite cranky in the field.
At one point, Haddin pushed a ball from Symonds to about deep cover, and then found himself struggling for his ground.
Symonds was backing up at the stumps, but the throw from the field collected Haddin on the neck and shoulder as it went through, to dribble to a stop at Symonds feet, as Haddin’s bat slid over the crease.
Roy, in a fit of pique, put in a genuine appeal for “obstructing the field” and by the looks of the thing, made sure the umpires knew what he was appealing for.
The square leg umpire turned him down.
The day was made even more enjoyable by about a dozen lunatic spectators obviously on a weekend bender.
They rolled in about 11 am, after what would have been an all nighter, in fancy dress.
They were fitted out in old sports blazers, teamed with Hawaiian shirts and long baggy shorts, topped with a variety “jazz hats”, ranging from the ten gallon, to the Sicilian fisherman’s cap, to things with propellers on the top of them.
One bloke even had the stick-on Elvis Presley style sideburns.
They were quite subdued in the first session, but once they got drinking again, became quite raucous, but good natured, witty barrackers.

As Trev pointed out, in normal circumstances, Kat would have played himself into the Australian middle order; open with MEK Hussey, and sorry about that Phil.
But it won’t happen.
The team was already picked before the weekend.
If Tait is fit, Johnson will be 12th man on his SCG showing, where he became visibly frustrated and began bowling some rank full tosses and rude long hops, as he completely lost his line and length in the face of the onslaught.
Suggest some of the crack Sri Lankan bats would similarly find him out.
Didn’t impress me much.

All in all one of the best day’s first class cricket witnessed in many a season, and at least The Kat, by his own admission, atoned for the cardinal sin of running out Pup!

The SCG Trust has apparently guaranteed Cricket Australia that the New Hill Stand will be ready for the test match.
On the look of construction proceedings yesterday, they have a snowflakes chance in hell.
Two huge cranes are in place, but less than half the foundations have gone in, and that’s it.
Unless most of it is being pre-fabed off site, getting to lock up stage by January would appear well nigh impossible.

The most obscure tournament ever played

Idle spectators,

What is it about MJ Clarke and India?
He returns to Bangalore where he made his test debut and tonked a ton, only to score 130 in a one-day game!
Only saw the newsreel highlights, but the kiddie was playing all the shots, pushing the field around and finding the gaps, not to mention the ten fours and the three over the top; never mind that he offered a few chances.
This after he’d spent the night before on the hurl due to a dodgy curry – he found the doctor at 1am – and told him he was “going both ends”.
On interview post game admitted that he was after no more than “time in the middle” after a “shocking twenty20 world cup”
Managed to keep the run rate at more than five an over throughout the partnership with Haddin.
Always rated Haddin as a bat after seeing plenty of him in first class cricket, and Gilly agrees he should get more gigs as a specialist bat in the one day game.
Good thing that Our Lara cashed in her ticket to India for one for the States, after seeing a photo of Pup on the slobber in South Africa.
One less distraction.
Noted also that Philip Anthony Jaques scored a couple of centuries for Australia A in the two four-day games against Pakistan A [which you’d have to doubt would have been granted first class status, even if they were] and come home from the most obscure tournament ever played, with an average of 123.33
The selectors would have taken notice on account of the tour was staged for their sole benefit.
And you can guess on that form, who will fill the vacant opener’s spot, given that the chairman and the three wise men have always been reluctant to mint a new baggy green on account of the dread fear of making a mistake, and Pro already has one.

Played all his strokes before he got to the ground

Willowists,

Noted that MJ Clarke had an outstanding tournament at the Twenty20 World Cup.
Pup’s figures speak for themselves:
6 matches, 3 innings, 8 runs, highest score of 5, and the superlative average of 2.66.
Obviously not his format, and the tour selectors appeared to have agreed, by batting him way down the order.
Heaven help the kiddie if he was ever asked to roll his arm over in the super short version of the game – he would be murdered.
Or perhaps the attached photograph with the “busty brunette” might have had something to do with it.
Poor Lara was in tears upon sighting it, according to the Daily Telegraph, so it must be true.
He could quite easily have played all his strokes before he got to the ground.
Twenty20 is no doubt the way of the future.
Knew that from my first encounter with the phenomenon maybe four seasons back now, in the week before Christmas, the NSW squad found themselves with nothing to do, so put together two XI’s for a charity Twenty20 at Hurstville Oval.
The ground was absolutely jammed packed, and dozens of kiddies with baseball mits were parked on the velodrome which runs around the oval to try and catch balls launched over the boundary and claim their prize of a framed signed photograph of the Strayan one-day XI.
Helped too that The Sandman was the ground announcer.
Also remember a very enjoyable afternoon with the children in the Bob Stand at North Sydney Oval [the perfect ground for Twenty20, tiny as it is] two seasons back, when Brad Haddin, I think it was, really got onto one, that was still going up as it left the ground’s perimeter fence, cleared a big stand of Port Jackson fig trees, and as we later learned, came to earth on the steps of a nearby church, narrowly missing clocking a newlywed couple who were being confettied at the time.
Now that’s entertainment.
Perhaps Pup will find more success on this ridiculous tour of India to get underway on the weekend.
Seven one day games -- count ‘em – seven, in seven different cities, over three weeks, with a Twenty20 game to finish off.
There was a little birdie singing a while back that the Strayan players wanted the whole thing called off as a complete joke and outrageous waste of time.
They were told that it was a naked money grubbing exercise to rip off the vast Indian television audience, and that no, it will go ahead.
The test players will miss the first Milk Cup game while in India, and will then return for just the one first class game before they go headlong into the test series against the Sri Lanka.
Now that’s a fantastic preparation for serious cricket, isn’t it?
And what chance have the selectors got?
Given that they are not being called on to tinker around the edges as usual – the chairman and the three wise men have some major league decisions to make, like the small matters of:
Who is going to open the bowling?
Who is going to open the batting?
Who is going to be the slow bowler, if indeed, we need a spinner?
Consider that Australia played its last test match ten months ago and on that occasion the team comprised:
ML Hayden, JL Langer, RT Ponting, MEK Hussey, MJ Clarke, A Symonds, AC Gilchrist, SK Warne, B Lee, SR Clark, GD McGrath.

Craven.

many years in the football wilderness

Sad Sacks,

Not interested in football anymore.
That said, having worked my through Mad Monday and the debrief with SC Roos, perhaps it’s time for the odd reflection on the season that might have been.
As I’ve been saying for weeks it was a year that was cruelled by injury, with Kennelly and the Ugliest man in Football largely unavailable, and other ageing stars playing on one leg, as it turns out, with the aid of pain killing needles, for much of the year.
Others didn’t make the “best players” list as much as they might have done.
No one really expected the Swans to go past the first week of the finals, did they?
Except perhaps for the team itself who I am reliably informed, had already played the Collingwood game in their heads and were looking towards a rematch with West Coast.
The final was atypical of the whole season…a dreadfully slow start [like having six goals to one kicked on you in the first quarter – how many times did that happen?]...a brave fight back in the second quarter while playing catch up football…a flat championship quarter…and running out of legs towards the finish as the youngsters in opposing sides showed them up for pace.
A cursory look at the Swans roster says to me that some players should just retire now, but probably won’t, as they don’t want to give up the good money and the good life, but certainly, age will catch up with many by the end of 2008 at the very least.
I fear the Swans are now destined for many years in the football wilderness when you look at ages of these blokes:
Spida Everitt 33
Brett Kirk 31
BBB Hall 30
Leo Barry 30
Magic 30
Jared Crouch 29
The Goodes Train 28
C.Bolton 27
Nic Fosdike 27
Nick Davis 27
D.Jolly 27
…and the list goes on….
Tadgh Kennelly will be happy enough to join Jim Stynes in the Pantheon of Irish Footballers Made Good and return to Dublin forever.
Fearfully, I can’t see many youngsters coming through the ranks with the exception of 20-year-old Eddie Barlow, and Teddy Richards, who played every game this season, but the bloke is already 24.
The Swans have never used their draft picks very wisely, and I don’t suppose they are about to start now.
In other words, to remain competitive with the likes of the teams that occupied the top four at the end of this season, over the next couple of years, the Swans will need to buy at least three class backs, a name full-forward, a name ruckman [perhaps two], a name midfielder/ruck rover, and a name centre half forward, all under the age of 25, at the very least!
That’s a very tall order my friends.

I think I have said all I want to say about the Balmain Tigers.

Anyway, The Winter Game wire is now officially closed for the year, you will be pleased to hear!
Thanks for the abuse, comments and suggestions throughout the season.
I’ve enjoyed the ride.
Occasional updates will appear on my website:
http://crazycraves.blogspot.com
Which of course will remain a repository for pertinent remarks on the first class cricket season, if you are interested.
Bring on the thwack of willow of leather, I say!

COLLINGWOOD: 6.5, 8.9, 13.12, 18.17 (125). Goals: Rocca 6, Cloke 3, Rusling 3, Buckley, Davis, Didak, Medhurst, Pendlebury, Swan
SYDNEY: 1.4, 7.5, 9.8, 13.9 (87). Goals: O'Loughlin 4, N.Davis 2, Malceski 2, J.Bolton, Fosdike, Hall, Kirk, Schneider
At Melbourne Cricket Ground.
Crowd: 64,645

Craven.

get in touch with this Michael Clarke

This Michael Clarke….

http://www.theage.com.au/news/Sport/Clarke-to-miss-Twenty20-practice-matches/2007/09/08/1188783552642.html

should get in touch with this Michael Clarke…

http://www.zwire.com/site/tab5.cfm?newsid=18804671&BRD=2553&PAG=461&dept_id=506096&rfi=6

might have a cure for a strained beer gut…